Today is the 10-year anniversary of Garage d'Or, my distorted rock album. Many of the songs were very old when they were recorded 10 years ago, but they never found a place on any of the other albums. Tired of waiting, the songs started a mutiny, and decided to make this album while chained in the ship's hold of my real band. I tried to explain to them that the decision to not include them on the other albums with the other songs wasn't personal, and that being a stylistic anomaly doesn't mean you're a bad song. They didn't want to hear it, however, and threw me into a dingy dinghy with the rest of my discography. Shaking my fist in the air, I told them the British Empire wouldn't rest until they'd been brought to justice, but, since none of us are British, they laughed in my face and set me and my acoustic songs adrift with nothing but an astrolabe, a sextant, and some of the hardtack they'd been living on for however many years. Decades, in some cases.
"Enjoy your stale crackers," said a song called "Speed Freak," which I'd written about a cracked-out guy from the Tenderloin in San Francisco, who followed me around and whom I couldn't shake for hours. I was surprised to hear the song talk back to me. "Taj Motel" observed my shock, and laughed with a bitter sort of victory in his, or its, voice. He sounded like someone who'd never had a pleasant moment in his life. I felt bad for him, but as the Captain, it was necessary to maintain the composure my position of authority required.
"Avast, ye dogs," I scowled, eyes squinting against the salty spray and chewing sand like Popeye, "there be no Pitcairn for ye to beach your doomed and hopeless rock & roll whale upon. The entire world has long-since been mapped, and ye will die alone and adrift, forever seeking refuge on your distorted, overdriven ship. Unless of course you find harbor somewhere cool, populated by scoundrels such as yourselves, who are base and unrefined enough to appreciate your loud and raucous style." The songs, however, couldn't hear me. Not only was there no electricity on the dinghy, forcing me to communicate with these loud, electric songs on a relatively-quiet acoustic guitar, we also were too far away by that point.
"We" meaning myself, the entirety of my discography (of whom my loud, distorted songs were jealous), and 2 electric songs who had chosen not to mutiny: "The Blonder of Two Evils," and "Telepathic Proposal." Aside from being highlights in an otherwise highlight-ridden album, which makes them special and therefore subject to scorn and loathing from the other songs, they also happen to be my personal favorite songs on the album.
In spite of this favor with their creator, however, they have endured a painful, lonely existence. Exiles among exiles, I have pasted both songs below, that you might show them some love. They have PTSD and trust issues, but if you genuinely appreciate them, I'm sure they will open their hearts to you over time.
If you dare, you can listen to the entire album on YouTube, or buy it via private download code through SubscribeStar and Bandcamp. Thanks for listening...
The Blonder of Two Evils
there is a man standing beside me
he's got live rabbits for his hands
he holds a knife up to the throat of the rising sun
and I have lost my way
I have lost my way
I am gonna pay
I have lost my way
my course is set for an uncharted sea
ain't nobody gonna find me
everything will be better up around the bend
I will never see my face again
I'll show you yours if you show me mine
if it's too late baby I guess I'll see you in court
there's nothing left to say except c'est la mort
off into the fray, here we go again
I chose the blonder of two evils to my great chagrin
I'll show you yours if you show me mine
©2012 Nathan Payne
Telepathic Proposal
my heart was cold and empty
sitting at the bar
it's 15 years 'til closing time
but it doesn't seem too far
she said I like you
you know I do
but one plus one in a million
still equals two
(and that won't do!)
cuz I just wanna live
I just wanna live my life
I got no kids, I ain't got no money
I got no worries, I ain't got no wife
I got no use for ambition
cuz I've already come this far
don't you know it's taken your whole life
to get where you already are?
she left me standing
on the freeway overpass
this lonely, unlovable feeling
I know someday it will pass
there she goes
walking down the street
leaving me here to contemplate
the semi trucks flying under my feet
cuz I just wanna live
I just wanna live my life
I got no kids, I ain't got no money
I got no worries, I ain't got no wife
I got no use for ambition
cuz I've already come this far
don't you know it's taken your whole life
to get where you already are?
flying in my car at a hundred miles an hour
down the Hollywood Freeway
ain't no woman gonna slow me down
ain't no cops'll stand in my way
when I get there, wherever I'm going,
I'll send you a telepathic proposal
and dig my heart out of the garbage disposal
cuz I just wanna live
I just wanna live my life
I got no kids, I ain't got no money
I got no worries, I ain't got no wife
I got no use for ambition
cuz I've already come this far
don't you know it's taken your whole life
to get where you already are?
©2012 Nathan Payne
