( When I'm writing all this, some things slip my mind. So I'm thinking that the best way to cover those areas as I think of them it's just put them in the beginning of the following story. Key points from the previous story are as follows)

Ways that DSS influence a court hearing go how they need in order to keep their place Over the family.

In the eyes of the court DSS are automatically viewed as the

"Good Guys"  

                                                     Lets face it, what they represent carries them further than there own actions in most cases

 Court Date Continuance - Department of Social Services can stretch a court hearing out many ways, in our situation after one year in court and then failing the drug test this is was able to stretch that case out even though we'd done everything we were supposed to all they had to do was switch case workers. When the judge would ask the caseworker about the family she would simply reply I'm new on this case. That would always get the continuance to allow her time for a proper assessment. We went through at least five different case workers from beginning to end. Either they would be moving to a different state, getting a promotion in the department of social services, having to take care of a sick family member.
    I believe it was three or four months before the end of our court hearing that we were told it was going to be our final court hearing. We believed it would be because we still had the same DSS worker this time. To our surprise the judge acted as if he was shocked that the DSs was releasing the children to us because of the sexual situations from the very beginning. He asked DSS did the oldest boy say that the parents knew? She replied yes he did say they knew and before she could get the last word of that sentence out he already shout it out loud,
" why on Earth would we be allowing them to go back with them then? Do we not believe the oldest son ? "
The judge then turned his attention to me. Look me dead in my eyes and said,
" I will not be part of this case if I have to hear this case you two will never see any of your children ever again"  with absolute disgust in his voice. As a judge I found that to be quite irresponsible. I say this because under normal circumstances the judge would hear both sides usually a lawyer tells one side while the DA tells another. I'm sure you're familiar with the basics of how courtrooms work. He asked if my oldest son said we knew, to which the answer was yes. That was enough for him to make such a decision. I believe he should have asked three follow-up questions.(Before Judging Us and Disrespecting me on a personal level & in front of the rest of the Court)

**Q1:** What did the parents know?
**Q2:** How did the parents find out?
**Q3:** When did they find out?

With just these three simple questions he could have put himself at ease instead of boiling with whatever F-ed up thoughts he had in his head. Not to mention we could have got the kids back that day, instead of three months later. Basically, do the job that the people elected him to do. 

**A1:** What we were told by the second to youngest child. Followed by any other details given by the two older children.

**A2:** We found out by the second to youngest child as he was telling on them.

**A3:** Three months before the Disney Vacation.
It really irritates me that the answer to these three questions were still unknown to any Court Officials that were in this courtroom this late in the court hearings, 2.75 years? Honesty I believe they were overlooked on purpose just to continue the case even further.
Why? =unknown

**Part 3**
 Here's a pointless tip if the Department of Social Services request a drug test and you are not currently in court you may refuse and you will not be ordered to take one. I said is a pointless tip because if you feel pressured into taking the drug test they are no longer allowed to give it to you and if you refuse they will still take your children no. If you make sense of this please let me know.)

I have an explanation in a minute, as you read the story. So as I ended the last story there was another anonymous phone call to the Department of Social Services. "Supposedly"  Now keep in mind court has been over for at least a year maybe a year-and-a-half. We have already had the one instance when the two DSS workers,  without any anonymous phone calls to provoke them decided to get a local detective to accompany them to my home while my wife and I were at work. They knew we were at work. The 3 younger boys were in school, they knew this as well. They went to my home and tried multiple times to pull my oldest son out side. Reaching through the chain locked door and physically grabbing him. 

( in case you missed, click "The Phone Call that Saved My Kid From God Knows What"

Everything was slowly improving, but still never would be completely corrected. You see when you have a family of eight turn into just a couple for a long period of time and then jump from two people to a family of six, it can put a toll on you. Don't get me wrong we definitely were happy to have part of our family back but it was like the Rhythm that we were in moving forward as a family originally had been completely disrupted. As parents you pretty much plan ahead roughly certain points in children's lives that you are expecting to happen. Birthdays, holidays, first car, first job, weddings, etc. Not in great detail, but a rough outline. It could be just me or maybe more common with parents of larger families. It's like when you set up a plan to go on a long trip and places that were planed pitstops have gone out of business, bridges out so you have to detour. Stress levels can rise and the trip could be ruined. (Not the best analogy but you get the point) Now my wife and I were going through a lot of issues questioning our marriage. I know you're thinking, that I said everything was slowly improving. It was but to get to where we were we had to hold any and all problems aside because our main goal was to get them out of DSS custody. You must imagine the toll it takes on a couple when going through years of horseshit with DSS or anyone for that matter telling you what to do where to go how to live it can really mess people up.

There was one night in particular after a doctor put my wife on antidepressants. For those of you who are not familiar with antidepressants, they will take you through the storm before you start to feel clear. People experience raised levels of anxiety, attempts of suicide, anger, etc. 
 After taking the pills for just a few days she decided to take herself off because she didn't like the way they made her feel. During this time we had some pretty aggravated arguments which ultimately led her having to be placed in the hospital. After coming out of the hospital she was fine things started to pick up. I we tried to do some of the things that we used to as a family, we packed up and went to the beach like we used to do. But we wasn't at the beach with 6 kids instead it felt like we were at the beach with a bunch of adults. It was definitely tighter in the hotel, when they went into custody they were all kids smaller than us when they came out they were all bigger than us. I'm 5-4 my wife is 5/2 and the majority of our children came out 6 ft. Things didn't seem right still but for the sake of the other children we kept our happy faces on best we could. See at this time I still had my second oldest son who is still in custody. And we went for almost two years without speaking until I finally received the phone call from a woman he had just started seeing for therapy. When the therapist had asked if I would be interested in coming for a session I was excited and quick to answer absolutely. She was thrown off by this reaction because based on what she had been told by DSS she was under the impression we wanted nothing to do with him. Yes that is not made up or an exaggeration of any kind "That we wanted nothing to do with our kid"

We got it set up for me to go have a therapy session with him every week.
By the time this was set up I believe he was near four or five months from being 18. The therapist knowing that he was planning to come home when he turned 18 no matter what, she felt it may be necessary to do some reunification therapy. And that just basically some therapy with the siblings and parents included to kind of get the kids prepared on living together again and how to handle situations if they was to become necessary. Now I want to point out that in Court  you were ordered to see a therapist, they will follow any recommendations that the therapist has just as they usually will follow a doctor's orders.

Of course you can imagine the DSS is response when this request came up to her I'd like to tell you she was all for it but it was just a run around for a few weeks until finally she had no other excuse but to answer. No there will not be a reunification therapy because they do not feel that it would be safe for these children around each other period. 

I kind of expected her to give us an answer like this because we had requested from our therapist that we have been seeing for quite some time and she had already told us that the Department of Social Services told her that this would not be a reunification case.
Simply considering that we are a family what do you think would be in the mind of the Department of Social Services that we were just going to be a family partially and really truly never ever see the other boys again? Mind blowing and completely not realistic. Then it makes me ask a question why do some families get such a option that we were refused? Basically she had me so mad and we've been so nice for so long and cooperative that it was 5 weeks I think till his birthday and he would be getting out of the group home, that I called him and let him know what she had said and I asked him if he was cool with it that I was going to let her have it and we probably not going to see each other for the next five weeks but as soon as he got out we would. He said it was up to me and you would be fine we've already gone this long without seeing each other five more weeks be okay we've been seeing each other for around 12 weeks or so at this point. So I called her and I cussed her worse than I've ever cussed anyone. I do believe any parents under the situation and circumstances would probably do the same if not worse. I mean this child just like my oldest child went all this time without seeing us and as if that wasn't enough they had to do it while thinking because DSS told them "your dad and mom does not want you, they don't want you guys around". I mean bottom line if they felt like they were doing a service to anyone then why lie about it and try to put the hate on us why not just tell the children they didn't it was in their best interest? For a Federal Department like DSS to knowingly and directly lie to children shows that there is not something right here, either they're doing this illegally or something I just can't put my finger on but if this was completely legitimate then there wouldn't be any need for lying to kids.

But let's get past their angle on it and imagine you are those children and you have to go through a scary situation in places that you don't know, around people you don't know, being told how to do things, and then being told to your parents don't want you. If you're comfortable with that idea that you might as well stop reading because I'm not going to reach you. I  very seriously doubt that there's anybody out there going to read this and not have a problem with that.
Okay, so are we all ready to hear what this Anonymous phone call was it about? The typical "parents are doing drugs around their children" phone call. As usual, the caller forgot to leave their name. Very convenient to make a call when you don't have to leave a name. Or as I previously pointed out extremely convenient for DSS, if they want to have a little more time with you for any reason whatsoever they just claimed they had a call. Who is going to say they didn't? Now since we were not currently in the court process like before and since cooperation didn't help us at all the first time, We decided to tell them that we've already been through more than enough with them and don't really want anything else to do with them. As far as we were concerned we were clean at that time and they had no business poking there heads around us anymore. Not to mention our its our legal right so we turned down the drug test.

I mean we went through all the hoops and did all the crap that they wanted us to do before because of the they took the kids and no longer have them to use against us. I was wrong. She turned and looked at me with a surprised face and said, you're turning down the drug test? I told her that if its not legally required for us to do so then No. She then said we cant make you legally, but I will be picking the children up from school and taking them into our custody. At that point I said are you serious? Well lets go take the F-ing drug test if you need it that bad then let's go. She quickly responded that I must not feel pressured into taking the drug test, that it was important that I don't feel pressured. Then she repeated you cannot feel pressured into a drug test by the Department of Social Services. At this point I was rather confused but I told her you just told me you're going to take my kids if I didn't take the drug test. is that not pressuring me? But whatever let's go.

She did not want to do the drug test anymore, instead she just told me that I had till 3 that afternoon to have someone that I choose to take them into their custody but of course DSS will need to approve whoever I choose. As expected they turned down the only two options I had. They left my house that that morning and went straight to picking the kids up from school.

I mean that alone has to be a little unheard-of they took the children without any kind of anything showing that we were unfit.  My wife's ex-husband who came to less than 25% of the court dates from the previous battle two years before, He tried to claim custody but was shot down because he was asked to take a drug test and he refused. The court said on that day that he would not be granted custody unless he submits to the drug screening. 

The day after DSS took our kids for the 2nd time, Janet M. called me to ask where I was. I told her I was at home.  Apparently it was an emergency custody hearing. We didn't know anything about emergency custody hearing held within 24-hour of children being removed. Never went through that. But they said they told us which they did the morning of the court date and my wife is already at work. She also made sure to specify to me what judge would be handling this case, and as to my surprise it was the Dishonorable Judge that we had the issue with us knowing. He said if he seen our case we would never see our kids again. I don't know but that thought scares the hell out of me.

She also wanted to be sure that I understood that it took us two years the first time and that the second time will take even longer. Wow this is a loosing battle. Two out of the three children will be 18 within the two years, and the 3rd will be 18 after another 1 1/2 years. Now if you look at all this it kind of seems as if they've stacked these really big barricades to keep us from doing anything about them taking custody of our children. 

In a strange, unforeseen twist the ex-husband that lived in Mexico,  was at this court hearing. For some reason the rules changed for him, he was asked if he wanted custody his child. He said yes. No Drug Test. No Safety Assessment of his Home. He was awarded custody of a child that we raised. A child the he was mean to only because he didn't believe he was his. I was the father figure since that boy 16 months old. His biological dad didn't meet him till he was 2 because he was in prison. I even had to put a little fear in this man just to end him sending the child home with bruises up and down his legs.

 Now with the wisdom of DSS and the McDowell County Courts. That poor boy has been homeless for around seven months now in Mexico well I won't say homeless because he got a  job and he dropped out of high school. His dad kicked him out and left him a homeless kid. Told him to F off and that he didn't want him around there anymore. Don't come back to my house he said. Its sad, before this even happened this particular kid was extremely athletic and didn't want to do anything wrong to his body for the sake of being able to maybe play for the NFL one day. Truth be told he was a hell of a player. Ever since he was little but before his dad kicked him out he became an alcoholic after only living there for a little over a year. This young man was 17 years old when he became an alcoholic and he had never tasted alcohol in our custody.

We weren't at that court date as I said it was very poorly orchestrated trust even have the message that we had court that day. Arguing with the DSs lady that afternoon about her having let the dad take custody of our son explain to her that he didn't take the drug test and he was supposed to take a drug test and she looked at me and said at least he showed up. That was news to us consider anybody went to every court date for three years that man only showed up to maybe 4 court dates. But somehow she manages to have the nerve to tell me that he showed up.

Going to try to wrap this end of the story up but basically when the department took our children this time they could only take three because our daughter  after returning to our custody, we got her heading the right direction. Explaining the application for employment, tips for building strong credit, even how to change the tires and oil in her car. No BS. Now we are proud to say she is in college and living on campus at UNCA. We cant take credit for that part and neither can DSS. Honestly she put herself in the college and she works her ass off. She did all the figuring out how to do the applications and stuff because her mother and I never went to college so we didn't know where to start.

Here some disappointing info but in a way she has to work harder because we won custody before she turned 18, DSS was no longer obligated to pay collage for her. You have to turn 18 while in their custody to receive the free college. They didn't tell it to us that way until after but oh well she's doing fine in college after 4 years doing great and working a job. Has a well above avg credit score. She still manages to come visit us at least twice a month.

The department still tell the remaining kids that if they come home when they turn 18 that we will turn them to drug addicts. WTF

This time was different than the last  time they kept al 4 kids together. Immediately went to splitting the kids up so the one went to Mexico the other two went to the same place up the mountain at first then to a foster home where the foster home only ended up keeping one of the two so in the end of this long story we became a family of eight that got completely divided absolutely divided. Even if you want to defend to state and put blame on us, you wouldn't be able to put blame on them but DSS continue trying to leave there mark in my mind. and leaving my kids in harms was as the turn 18 in their custody.

This is just getting the main story up to present day.

There will still be more post about situations. 

Just Because Someone Has a Problem 

DOES NOT

Make Them a Bad Parent

DRUGS, ESPECIALLY HARDER DRUGS ARE HONESTLY THE WORST MISTAKE YOU WILL MAKE NEGATIVELY EFFECTING YOU AND THOSE AROUND YOU WEATHER YOU BELIVE IT OR NOT!!!

Having said that true message about hard drugs

does not change the fact that.

   Drugs did not destroy my family, Maybe they would have if we continued, who can say for sure. (a fortune teller) No, DSS Destroyed My Family!

Thanks For Reading