I think Kaizen or "continuous improvement" is a great ideal to practice in your life. By improving ourselves we can improve the quality of our lives, as well as those we come into contact with. However, I've found there is a dark side to self-improvement.

The problem with self improvement stems from never seeing ourselves as "good enough" and never being content with who we are. We think that once we improve a certain aspect of ourselves that we'll be fulfilled and happy with where we're at. Even when we succeed there is always more to improve, learn or fix.

Another problems comes when our obsession with improvement gets in the way of our freedom and happiness. We may forgo fun things because they're "bad" for us. Even if we allow ourselves to do the "bad" thing, we feel guilty and don't fully enjoy the experience. For example, ice cream cones are generally seen as being unhealthy so you should avoid eating them. But if you're going out with friends on a hot summer evening and you wind up with an ice cream cone in your hands you can either throw it out or enjoy it. Don't eat it unless you intend to enjoy how delicious it is. There's no point in eating something unhealthy and not enjoying it because you're feeling so guilty.

Personally, I like to play video games. I generally play in moderation but sometimes I can get sucked in for several hours. I berate myself by thinking, "Why aren't you doing something more important?" Sometimes I manage to justify my guilty pleasure by reminding myself that games can be a workout for your mind and your reflexes. But I shouldn't always have to justify what I want to do. Next time I play games I'll play for an hour or two just for fun (as they're intended to be played). No remorse.

So how do we move past the judgment we feel when we're always trying to improve and not measuring up to our impossibly high standards?

• Realize that you'll never be "perfect" in the literal sense. Nobody is.
• Stop judging yourself.
• Accept yourself fully, just as you are.

Now when you improve yourself, you may be "better" in some way, but you are still the same person and still 100% acceptable in your own eyes. Think of yourself as a tree. You may want to be a big mighty oak, but you're just a sapling (or maybe even a seed). The sapling isn't "worse" than the oak. It's just at a different stage in its development. Accept yourself at each stage along the way as you grow.

I'm learning to accept and love myself, even as I continue to practice self-improvement. I wish you the best of luck in applying this to your own life.