Whenever a man in his forties dies prematurely, the event undergoes a form of "social autopsy"—far more extensive than any medical post-mortem—as people dissect the reasons behind his death. In this era of social media, such an analysis takes place with the passing of almost every man.

The most frequently cited factors include:

1. Smoking

2. Alcohol consumption

3. Neglect of one’s own health

These issues have been debated on social media for the past decade. Over the last five years, a fourth factor has entered the discourse: the potential side effects of COVID-19 vaccines.

Let medical science examine these matters based on empirical evidence and reveal the truth to the world. Beyond that, I feel there is little to be said about the first three factors, as they pertain to the personal habits of the individual.

After all, there are people who have engaged in these habits and lived well past the age of 95, while others have perished shortly after adopting them.

My point is that, until now, such deaths have not sparked a broader, meaningful social dialogue.

In a society deeply rooted in a patriarchal mindset, there is virtually no discussion regarding the structural violence imposed upon men within the family unit, the immense pressures they face, or the resulting psychological distress.

While the violence inflicted upon women by the family structure is often overt, the violence, burdens, and expectations imposed upon men—especially those in their forties—remain largely hidden, yet they are fraught with intense pressure. Can a man in his forties live the life he desires—a life that aligns with his own personal preferences—while remaining part of a traditional family structure? The reality is that not every man is capable of doing so.

The most uncomfortable truth is that our existing family structures are not equipped to handle this inherent limitations and vulnerabilities that some men may possess.

A stark, uncomfortable truth is that our existing family structures are fundamentally ill-equipped to recognize or accommodate the inherent limitations and vulnerabilities that some men may possess.

We even rarely analyse the dysfunctional state of a family structure where parents, perhaps in their seventies or eighties, continue to belittle and suppress their forty-year-old sons, dismissing their perspectives with a condescending, "What do you know?" This vital issue is not even a subject of reflection.

Every man in his early and mid forties possesses a certain capacity to bear all the burdens; But, our family structures often force a man who may only have the strength to carry, say, forty kilograms—to shoulder an eighty-kilogram load (that is double). There is a profound lack of clarity here and no one seems willing to learn or to teach on this hard truth.

If we carefully analyse these burdens, examining every fact and analyse in deep into the underlying issues, we would uncover a crucial area of ​​education that is entirely absent from a man’s upbringing in our society.

Girls, for better or worse and often in ways that are deeply problematic which are systematically taught a form of patriarchal subjugation by the preceding generations. This ranges from lessons on "bodily purity" and the protection of their own bodies till to the broader expectation of safeguarding the family’s honour.

But boys in contrast, are not even provided with a formal education of this kind at all. Instead, they are left to "learn" merely by observing and listening to those who are around with them.

And this informal "learning" is passed down by the very same older generations who are themselves deeply entrenched in and defined largely by this rigid family structure. Consequently, they are molded into mere pack animals, burdened with heavy loads. But does an educational framework exist here that actually teaches them how to carry these burdens? The reality is, it does not.

Ultimately, this reality converges on the economic expectations placed upon men in their forties. A man in his forties is expected to have found a partner, built a home, fathered children, and be in a position to care for his aging parents. He is also expected to be a fulfilled husband and a devoted father—and the list goes on. All these facets are interconnected, forming a chain that is fundamentally rooted in one’s ability to earn and achieve economic growth.

In my view, just as we emphasize the critical importance of sex education and education on gender equality, it is equally vital to provide education on the fundamental structures of our economy—an economic literacy that should be accessible to all children.

Furthermore, for boys specifically, there must be an educational approach that fosters a social environment where they are encouraged to question and critically analyze the family structure, its evolution, and the patriarchal ideologies it perpetuates.

Then only we can address that fact that for all the generations, who have lived their lives without learning how to live and without grasping the elementary principles of equality and without even the basic ability to manage their own personal responsibilities in any way.