“I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.” - Oscar Wilde
I think it is safe to say that we all have those little “nuggets of wisdom” which have been imparted from our parents to us throughout our lives. I know I do! There are plenty of occasions where I catch myself either saying or thinking something my mom used to utter to me.
My mom and I were always best friends, despite the obstacles we faced in our relationship and the many, many, MANY times I overstepped the mark in terms of respect while I was a teenager growing up. I think we have all been there, and now I am there again - only on the other side of the fence… because now I am the mom to a teen. I have been blessed with a son who I can say, is a lot more respectful to me, than I recall being to my own parents - but I think pretty much all kids roll their eyes to a degree, when their parents start “waffling”, lol! I never really gave my moms words of wisdom until I was an adult either if I am honest.
Sadly, I lost my mom to breast cancer in June 2020. A disease and personal burden which she had been carrying for years before she told us. Sadly, when she finally did open up about it - it was too late for anything to be done. Definitely the worst year in my life, as this was smack bang in the middle of the hard lock down - and for those of you that are not aware, I am in South Africa… one of the hardest hit places in that respect. It made the already challenging aspect of dealing with hospitals and doctors etc. SO much harder, as we could not visit her or anything. It truly was a brutal emotional period for us all, and no doubt equally as hard for my mom to be all alone approaching her last days here.
Thankfully, in the last two weeks of her life, we managed to get her into palliative care at a hospice which allowed us to visit her. We also discovered during that time that one of her earlier places of employ had actually donated to them regularly throughout the years - so not only was she familiar with the place, but they also had really beautiful gardens which she was able to enjoy from her bed - something which was always of the utmost importance to my mom, being a total green fingers and garden lover her whole life.
Still not an ideal way to see my mom spend her last time here, but then is there ever really an “ideal way” to lose a parent… I don’t think so.
Though she may be gone, my mom continues to pass down her nuggets of wisdom as I find myself remembering something she once said, or discovering a little gem scribbled down in one of her notebooks. No "list" or blog post could ever truly capture the wisdom she shared with me over a lifetime nor the love she gave so selflessly - but I thought it would be a nice gesture to her to make this little list and share it with all of you.
Perhaps it will inspire a list of your own!
DEDICATED TO MY MOM LIZZIE & ALL OTHER MOMS, DAUGHTERS, FATHERS & SONS.
This is just a small collection of nuggets, comprising of both things my mom used to say (repeatedly), things she taught me over the years and my observations of her as my mom. I hope you enjoy them and I would love to hear some of your own too, so please do feel free to share with me in the comments.
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Dinner table gatherings are for conversations and connection, not ugliness.
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You can turn an empty cardboard box into many things
with a little imagination and a pretty piece of fabric or an old dress.
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Make sure you find the time to do the things that feed your soul.
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There is only one you –
be proud of who you are and where you come from.
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Life without music is not life at all.
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You will always be closest to inner peace in a garden than anywhere else on earth.
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Diets are not sustainable. Everything in balance is the golden key to a healthier and happier lifestyle.
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The way to ANYBODY’S heart is ALWAYS through good food.
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If you have potatoes, pasta, eggs, cheese, and rice you are set for any ocassion.
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A cold heart does not create a warm future.
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I want, never gets!
(haha…I have used that one a fair amount myself over the last 14 years)
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A lady never walks in public smoking a cigarette.
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Nip the budding leaves on your herbs to make them bushier & less straggly.
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When you go to work in your kitchen,
the first thing you do is run a sink of hot, soapy water.
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Elvis Presley is, and always will be the King of Rock ‘n Roll
and the best-looking man that ever lived.
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The Italians do most things best.
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Everything tastes better for kids if it’s served with white sauce.
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The secret to an awesome white sauce is chicken stock.
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For kids, distraction holds a lot more weight than a spanking.
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Enjoy your kids while they still want you around,
They lose that dependence quickly.
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Microwaves are for re-heating, and stoves are for cooking.
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A little bit of patience can take you a long, long way.
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Layers, layers, layers... (It’s an art thing)
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Cut off dead flower heads, it makes more flowers.
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Good moms make sick kids green jelly :)
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Hold your head high - even when you are fighting back tears.
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A weed in time saves nine.
(Oh boy, have I yet to learn this one. Haha)
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NEVER. EVER. EVER chase a man... (or anyone for that matter)
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It is only acceptable to drink wine after 4pm.
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What doesn't break you ALWAYS makes you a stronger,
wiser, and more compassionate person.
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Family always comes above all else, because without family, you have nothing.
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No matter how in love two people are, their love is not invincible and their relationship
should always be treated with the respect it deserves.
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The world is a much poorer place without warming drawers...
I cannot warm my son's clothes before school in winter as my mom did mine.
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Give, give, and give some more!
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Always be a lady.
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Despite the insane amount of hurt you might endure growing up,
you can and will overcome it all if you keep an open heart.
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Cooking without herbs is just boring.
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Life is always better with roses.
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Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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