Dear North Americans (mostly of the USA, but also Canada),

Whilst I do indeed enjoy soundly and thoroughly trouncing you in arguments (particularly those pertaining to the finer details of the problematic history and backwater nature of your respective countries), I have a question for you. It is this: "Why, why, oh why on this blue and green Earth, are you so proud of your self-enforced ignorance, active lack of knowledge and general idiocy?"

"I am a proud non-reader of books. Books be [sic] so wordy and shit. I prefer talking to people with real experiences."
— Kanye West, author of Thank You and You're Welcome and egotistical titanic shitgibbon

Now, don't get me wrong here. Of course, I realise that not all of you are Bible-bashing, sock-smoking, cousin-shagging illiterate Creationist and pro-Confederate monobrowed morons in dire need of brain transplants, attitude adjustments and ego checks, but that's not at all obviously apparent from interacting with many of you online (and not just when it comes to antisocial media) or watching your TV shows.

If one of you who's in possession of both some brains and a decent education (yes, I know a few of you exist in isolation somewhere) can humour me with an adequate explanation as to why you go to such pains to present yourselves as dolts to the rest of the world, I might be most appreciative. Is it perhaps that you forget that there is a "rest of the world" or are you simply unaware/dismissive of it?

Thank you.