I hear it all the time..

I want to lose some weight for my wedding Or  My doctor says I need to lose weight because of my (insert name of non-communicable medical condition here).   The fact of the matter is both are doomed to be successful failures. Allow me to explain.   

Goal setting 101 You've probably heard about setting SMART goals already, (if not, click here)so I won't bore you with the details here. Suffice to say the goals above, while worthwhile, aren't going to deliver any long term results. They're too vague to be meaningful over a longer period of time.   Loss aversion. As humans, our brains are wired to be loss averse. That means we will fight hard to avoid a loss.

To give a concrete example, think of a person who continues to have their old car repaired, spending good money after bad simply because they've already spent so much on it. All the while knowing that they could spend less than the cost of the last repair on a newer model which will be more economical to run and to repair in future.   Let's use an example we can all relate to, a lost wallet or keys, or even worse, the mobile phone!  If you LOSE any of these things, you're going to try your hardest to GET IT BACK. Because we are loss averse.   The research that looks at long term weight loss is not encouraging. Almost everyone who LOSES WEIGHT will GET IT BACK within the next 5 years, regardless of what diet they use.   

I suspect this is due to a combination of the built in loss aversion we all share, and the weight loss mindset.   So I propose a shift in mindset.   This year marks the 26th anniversary of my mindset moment, though at the time I certainly didn't realise it was anything momentous!   I stepped up onto the bus and heard the familiar rrrrriiiipp that accompanied my fat ass busting it's way out of yet another pair of 40" trousers, my face turning the customary beetroot red. As I waddled my 17stone bulk down the bus to try & find a seat, mortified with embarrassment and ashamed that I couldn't even get onto a bus easily anymore, there was one thought foremost in my mind... "This will NEVER. F**KING. HAPPEN. AGAIN!!" The next thought was about finding a seat close to the front of the bus, but once that was done I was back to the bigger picture.. "I AM going to GET RID OF THIS USELESS FAT ONCE AND FOR ALL"   12 months later I was 5 stone (90lbs or about 40kg) lighter, and  seriously needed the belt on my 34" trousers. Having made the lifestyle changes required to get rid of the useless fat, I'm completely smashing the statistics for long term "weight loss" (25 years later and still an easy 34"). I believe that's due mainly to mindset. I had my mind set on GETTING RID OF FAT, rather than LOSING WEIGHT.  

There's another factor involved in the language here, and that has a crucial role to play. 

Lose weight - sometime, somehow, a magical body composition fairy will sprinkle some magical frosting on my cereal and my body will begin to shape itself into the one I want without me having to take any responsibility for my poor daily food and activity habits which have gotten me to this point. (Externalising responsibility and giving up control).  

Get rid of weight - action is required on my part in order to make this happen. (Internalising responsibility and taking control).   The difference in language is subtle, yet powerful. Which is why I sometimes sound like a broken record on the topic of language. I will insist in changing language habits just as strongly as I insist on changes to eating and activity. Especially when it comes to words and phrases such as "I can't" or "it's (too) hard".   

I hope you found this useful, I'll talk a bit more about the importance of the language in a more detailed post and link to it from here.