Enter Eich

Enter Eich


He's a renegade. His heart is too much of a wildfire for even Mozilla..ayy you guessed it; he's Brendan Eich.

"I paid these people to look at me. What are you gonna do about it?"

 


He's attracting a veritable who's who of Internet criminals. The wunderkind who created Brave has been devouring every bit of opportunity to peddle his nefarious deeds and tokens..but to what end?! He's been wielding a large chequebook (not to mention the usual armor/weapon to match) for the better part of the last decade, commanding the price of millions of dollars for the BAT social network, and his development of the Mozilla Firefox browser has spiced up the web. But now, Brendan Eich has found himself booted out of Mozilla after he repetitively tried to buy all of his coworkers undivided attention, which as you might guess, is very disruptive for workplace productivity.

 

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"Firing me?? I just wanted your attention!!"

Eich would be laughing all the way to the bank if he didn't keep a bankroll of more than $150 million in his hedge fund, and dump it all into Basic Attention Tokens. In fact, he has pledged many whopping millions to the project, so if you have any kind of fanboy complex, maybe take it easy on Eich and send him a big fat check, because a benevolent governing body will almost certainly bestow upon this project the virtues of wisdom, accuracy, and longevity.  It's a truly horrifying outcome.

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Long story short, Eich is a true innovator who just happens to have one of the greatest distasteful motivations: to abuse the social network, the latest in advertising, to develop what's called the Brave browser all for the simple goal of getting everyone to pay attention to him. That means the company will have to convince advertisers to drop the rest of their advertising campaigns, or to drop their right to sell to people independently, but that can wait for a moment of total panic and drama over how little Eich has actually done to earn their money.

 

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You have to wonder if this crusade against the advertising social network, fueled by Eich's own provocative ideas, will bring on its own backlash, and how all of this new outrage will affect the social network he founded to replace it.

 

In my recent interview at the Bogdanoff twins' concert, Brendan Eich would constantly tell me (in an unusually forced deep voice): 

"For too long, the LGBT community has been slow to come to terms with what my existence even means. Mozilla was afraid of BAT Man"

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TheCryptokeeper
TheCryptokeeper

cryptocurrency investment analyst, meme wizard and link marine. some know me as @UwUGuy777


Don't you F***ing UwU me!
Don't you F***ing UwU me!

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