Mother and child both cry at a birth. Once the crying is done, their worlds expand into infinity.

My first week in crypto, like right after I watched my first CryptoSlo "not your keys, not your crypto" warning, I decided to invest in a casino project we'll call YetiGames (not the real name).

I thought to myself, they have a cool website that says some cool stuff. They had previous projects that worked. They say they're going to create a great casino! People love casinos! And I get to take in a percentage of the money the house takes in? This is a no brainer!

Well, YetiGames was a shit project (if it's still up at all), and I lost everything I put into it.

But that's not even the whole story.

When I was buying the tokens, I didn't understand about Uniswap and the possible difference in exchange prices. The YetiGame website had its own native DEX that exchanged your ETH for the shit tokens. I, thinking there was no difference between that and any other exchange, promptly gave them my ETH. I got back around 255 tokens. 

Later, I checked the price of the shit token on Uniswap. I think it was like my second time using Uniswap. But I was taken aback to find that for the same amount of ETH, I could have gotten 1480 tokens.

I checked the YetiGames token price. Hadn't changed. 

Went back to the website. Put in the same amount of ETH. It showed 255 tokens. Went back to Uniswap. 1480 tokens. I was utterly confused. And I felt cheated. And robbed.

Frantically, I started searching for answers. I somehow stumbled my way onto etherscan. I found my transaction, and I was able to deduce that my ETH had been deposited straight into the contract. I had heard some warnings somewhere about depositing straight into contracts, so I felt even more cheated. Why would a legit website put up a DEX that deposited my ETH straight into their contract when that wasn't considered ethical?

Researched some more. Found out that Telegram was the place you go to get real answers in crypto. So I joined and found the YetiGames telegram group. I put up frantic posts about not getting enough coins for my ETH, and that my ETH had been co-opted by the contract. I was supposed to get 1480 coins, not 255. Surely there was an admin who could help me?

I stayed up for hours searching the group. This is all over like $300, mind you. I've made and lost $300 in seconds multiple times before and since.

Finally an admin answers me, but it's not in the tone I'm expecting. I'm expecting customer service and a knowledgeable tech person who can help me get my missing 1100 coins. What I get is two 12 year olds laughing at me that I should have gone to Uniswap. I continue pleading that I don't know about Uniswap and shouldn't a legit project try to help its new customers? 

More laughter. Then they kick me out of the group and get my account banned for troll speech.

Maybe some of you can imagine how red I was. I'd just been cheated, and the cheaters were brazenly laughing at their victory over me. I couldn't do anything. Couldn't wring their scrawny little necks, couldn't even fight back verbally because I'd been kicked out of the group AND had Telegram tell me that I was somehow in the wrong. When I say red, I mean RED.

But that was the most educational 24 hours I've ever had in crypto. In following up on that $300, I learned about Uniswap, Etherscan, Telegram, the differences in exchanges, and most importantly, where the fuck I actually was. This ain't a children's fucking water park. This is crypto.

Fast forward to today.

I'm researching whether I want to stake in the Trustswap pool to possibly get Launchpad airdrops or just hold my tokens and take the capital appreciation that's coming to the SWAP token. I remember briefly the YetiGames event and how much more sophisticated I've become as an investor. I'm proud of myself.

So I join the Trustswap Telegram to get more info and I see all these people frantically posting about something. Apparently, one of the Trustswap projects, Yield.app, has been fake-cloned and the scammers are selling scam tokens on Uniswap. Apparently some of the people in the Trustswap group bought those worthless tokens, and they can't sell them back. You'd think I would have sympathy because of my first experience in crypto, but I don't.

Because underneath it all, all of the redness and pain and embarrassment, I realized there was nobody to call.

So I'm looking around watching all of these grown ass men running around crying, "Who can I tell? Can somebody help me get the names and phone numbers of these anon devs? Is there somebody I can call?"

Honestly, I'm like, bitch, shut the FUCK UP. I can't actually say that because some fag will report the comment and I'll get my Telegram posting privileges revoked. AGAIN. That's another post all in itself, how faggy Telegram is.

But it's bitch behavior like this that invites unwarranted regulation.

The one thing I'm proud of myself for during the YetiGames thing was that I didn't didn't renig on my personal value set. I hate "authority." Authority figures have never helped me. I resolved myself long ago to build up and rely on family and self. Government can give me free money and my passport and then get the fuck out of my way. In my redness, pain and embarrassment, I never once called on anyone to regulate the entire crypto space because I had a bad experience with some shits.

But Alucard, what if you need the police? 

I won't need the police. I got my own police, if you get what I'm sayin. When I get too old, my children will handle it. If I have shit children, then I'll just die alone knowing I tried and God will welcome me into eternal sleep telling me, "You did your best, champ."

So when I see grown men crying in these Telegram groups about what I know amounts to no real money, I'm really disgusted. I'm also fearful for the space. When "authority" sees perfectly capable adult people running around acting like toddlers, asking for help getting back $500 and otherwise behaving like they have no responsibility or authority to police their own spaces, authority will usurp that power gladly. And all of the profit opportunities in crypto will get sucked out of the room.

And all of the opportunities will flow to the people at the top who don't have to play by the rules they just imposed on you because you were so weak.

And all of the freedoms you could have had if you'd just been patient with yourself are gone.

And all of the lessons you could have learned about life, lessons that could have brought you great profits and power, are lost on you.

If you got scammed in crypto, shut your bitch made faggit ass up. First of all, it's just money. You didn't get your ribs broken. Take the time to learn why you got scammed and how you can avoid it next time. Even better, take the lessons from the scam to focus your investment window and improve your chances of huge success. Even better, learn how to build a protocol that is scam-proof to reward honest actors and punish scammers.

I want to know where the grown people are who have the discipline and integrity to police themselves and create an honest, powerful digital society outside of this Great Reset bullshit we're about to face down. We have the ability to build it. There are people clearing the way like Andre Cronje and others. Stop acting like an extra in your own movie. What have you done to make this world better for yourself and others and not worry about a little piddly $500 scam?

You can't be a bitch in crypto.