Fundamentals are out the window. Technicals are really out the window as well. There is nothing you can really count on to provide any kind of guidance when bitcoin moves from $29k to $32k in a matter of hours. Some altcoins are up, some are down, ether finally decided to move, and no one knows whether this will be the second coming of 2017 or a bull trap for the biggest dump you've ever seen.

So what do you do to keep from going crazy? Here's my plan. No telling whether I'll stick to it or not, but I'm going to try. I'm supposed to be grown. I still can't believe how much control my emotions have over me when I invest. It's annoying.

Stay the Fuck Off of the Ethereum Network

Ethereum is shit. I don't know if you knew, but it is. Vechain, Tron, Cardano — all of these are faster, better solutions. But the market has a gap between realization and implementation. There is 0 reason to play around in the fee-heavy world of Ethereum. You can trade every coin worth anything on Binance Smart Chain. Plus, the only projects on Ethereum are complete shit ponzis that will sap your money. In a bull market, the coins that are going to moon will be the established players with use cases — Theta, Zilliqa, Ren, etc.

Stay the FUCK out of these little shit garage band projects.

Prepare to Hodl

You know that established altcoin projects will pump, but you don't know when. I have yet to figure out the magic market making that causes a critical mass of people to move from one coin to another. The only way to follow the money and make money is to stay vigilant. Either have your bags already packed in stable projects, or react like lightning when you see the money moving. Either way, you must be prepared to hold things until the market decides they should moon. This may mean being a bagholder for some time.

Accumulation, Not Trading

The name of the game is accumulation, not trading. (If you're going to trade, do it on BSC, but that's another article.) Your goal should be to accumulate more coins, not to trade in and out of stuff. You might be able to catch a few waves, but when you get knocked off, those losses tend to even out any wins. I can't tell you how many times I've jumped from one place to another only to look back a month or two later and realize I could have made more just staying still. Just do whatever you have to do to get more coins. Let the market do the hard work of making profits.

Tether

Another way of saying take profits. And actually, you shouldn't use Tether because it might get wiped off the face of the earth. But moving gains into stablecoins consistently is a great strategy. You have to overcome the fear of missing out when things are going up. Most likely, that 5X you think will 10X you will actually 0.5X you if you fuck around too long. Get some cash out of the deal, wait for the next cycle, and buy back in.

Hard Assets

You've got to think diversification. I have way too much fun in crypto, but one instance brought me back to earth. I was in a place where a lot of brownouts happened, and I lost access to the Internet for a few days. I felt cut off and poor in a way that I had never felt before, because so much of my wealth was in this digital world. You have to make some of this real at some point. Maybe a house or something, I don't know, but you have to pull some of that value you're creating out of the digital world into the real world.

None of this is financial advice, of course. I'm not even typing this for you. This is for me! All of these tips are for me, so if you read them, I don't care if they crash your shit to 0 or make you miss out on the next 100X. I'm trying to find some sort of balance for myself in this crypto space so I don't have to be poor all of my life! Don't like it? Go away!

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Always remember:

Burgerswap Bridge will steal your crypto
Deus.Finance is led by a psychotic wannabe despot
AllianceBlock is a shit project
All algorithmic stablecoins (Basis Cash, Mithril, Empty Set Dollar) are a SCAM

Don’t get your bitcoin from PayPal
Trade on BSC, not Ethereum
Ivan on Tech, Elliotrades and Bitboy are complete liars, and
If you are always losing money trading crypto, read here.