Everything was going on normally in Yalda's father's office. Yalda's father was sitting calmly and elegantly in his room. I was sitting on one of the chairs in the office. I was waiting for the secretary to tell me to go into the room.

This time was very different from the previous times. This wasn't a therapy session. Yalda's father had called me. He had said he wanted to talk to you about Yalda.

I know why he called. He must want to stop his repetitive words. Get your foot out of my daughter's life.

Yalda is also supposed to come to the office today. Her father will talk to her too. Dr. Pir Awazi. I feel bad for him. He's the only obstacle. The obstacle to me reaching Yalda.

I don't know. Maybe I'll finish his work today. I have to see what he says.

Of course, maybe he approves of my relationship with Yalda. He'll say it's blessed.

No, Dad. This man I saw isn't like that. He always wants to stop me from reaching Yalda.

Oh, Dad. The annoying voices in my head. Oh, I'm sick of all of you.

Look. If you don't want to listen to me, I'll go.

No, thank God, stay with me. When Yalda's not here, I'm always alone. I only hear your voice.

Well, listen. He's probably sitting there showing off his doctorate. Saying that my daughter is more deserving than you.

Dad, don't be negative. Maybe it's not like that at all. Maybe he wants to agree.

Don't be a child, Bahman. He wants to hurt you.

I don't know.

Now go into his room. See what he says. But I know what he wants to say.

What do I know? Let me see what happens.

Fear is like fire. If you don't control it, it will burn you.

This life has a strangely perverted state. I am left with the role of a clown in Yalda's life.

You know, when I see Yalda's father, I feel bad. I don't know why I get scared. I just know that this character makes me sick. He always flaunts his family's education. We have been doctors for generations. You only have a master's degree in management. And that too from a semi-government university.

I always say to myself why it has to be like this.

Why should Yalda be mine. Why should her father always oppose her. Why should Yalda and I like each other in this big world. Why should her father be an obstacle to my reaching Yalda.

Really why. Why. Millions of other whys that always run through my mind and occupy my mind.

I sat motionless on the chair. I started to peel off the peeled leather of the chair. I kept looking at the clock. It showed exactly three o'clock. I don't know anything. But I know that this hour plays an important role in my life. At this hour, my life is determined. My assignment becomes clear. I understand what the story is.

A little later, the patient went in and came out. The secretary said with her usual coquetry: Mr. Bahman, come in. Dr. Hamidi is waiting.

Thank you very much.

I opened the door and went in. When she saw me, Sangin said: Hello Mr. Bahman. How are you?

Bahman: Thank you very much. Are you okay?

Dr. Hamidi: Thank you. I am okay too.

A little later, he said sarcastically: Let me see. Are the new pills I gave you working?

He always brings up my mental history. Because he doesn't want to be near his daughter. I didn't take even one of the pills. Because I know he wants to get me out of Yalda's sight.

Bahman: Yes, it's fine. It's working.

Dr. Hamidi: Look, Bahman. Today I said come and talk about Yalda.

Bahman: Yes, I know. I'm listening.

Dr. Hamidi: Look, get out of her life. I have dreams for this girl. I don't want everything to be ruined by a crazy person. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Bahman: But, doctor. I love Yalda very much. I can't forget her.

Dr. Hamidi: Go, dad. You're one of those people who want to achieve your desires at any cost. Even by ruining my daughter's life. You're not crazy.

You're not a pill-taker.

You don't have a history of illness.

You don't have a history of suicide.

Your only asset is the house that came to you from a family donation. You live in it. I won't give my daughter to such a person.

Bahman: But, Mr. Hamidi. I promised Yalda that I would make her happy. That house that you say is a charity, I bought it myself with my work money. Maybe my family helped a little. But I bought it myself.

Dr. Hamidi: Look, I don't know. Whatever it is, get out of my daughter's life. Otherwise, I'll send your mental file to the asylum. Where you belong. You won't see life like this anymore.

Bahman: I can't do this. Because I love your daughter. I'm willing to do anything for her.

At that moment, he got up. He went to his doctorate degree on the wall. He said: Look. I said come so I can finish my proof. Let me see what you do. Then Yalda will come too so I can tell her to forget you. Now get out of my room.

He said this. My blood boiled. My inner voice said again: Do you see why he told you to come? That's why. I told you at first. But you didn't take it seriously. Now look, he's always looking at his degree.

Bahman: You're right. You said it, but I didn't pay attention.

So kill him.

Bahman: What? No, Dad. This is Yalda's father. I can't.

Why don't you understand? This is a serious obstacle to reaching Yalda. So kill him.

Bahman: How?

Look at the envelope opener on the table.

Bahman: Yes, I saw it.

Finish it with it. This way you'll reach Yalda faster.

Bahman: Okay.

Always repeat this to yourself and move forward. I'm the devil who didn't bow down to anyone. But I didn't hesitate in my work.

I started repeating it. Just as Yalda's father was looking at his certificate and telling him to get out, I leaned down from my chair in front of the table. I picked up his father's envelope opener. I quickly plunged the knife into his spinal cord. I put my hand in front of his mouth so he wouldn't make a sound. No one would understand. For a moment I felt that there was no longer any obstacle to reaching Yalda.

As he lay dying on the ground, he said in a broken voice: "Yalda with this

You're making her feel bad.

Bahman: No, that's not true. Shut up.

He took a few deep breaths. He closed his eyes. He fell to the ground. At that moment, Yalda arrived. He opened the door. He went inside. Suddenly, he screamed: Dad, what happened?

Yalda: Bahman, what are you doing here? Why did you kill my father?

When Yalda screamed, the secretary came. She screamed too.

I pushed Yalda and the secretary with all my might. I left the office.

Yalda: I don't want to see you anymore.

When I was leaving the office, I looked at the clock on the wall. It was three o'clock before I came in. It was three now. It was strange that I had been in the room for half an hour. But the hands hadn't moved. The seconds counter still showed three with its ticking. What was even stranger was that the clock in Yalda's father's office was dead. All the patients were looking at the dead clock to go to their rooms.

I quickly went to carry out the next plan that my inner voice told me to do. Blood was dripping from my hands. I was shaking from my fingertips to my toes. It was as if I needed the nerve pills more than ever. Yalda's father was right. Yalda would not forgive me for this.

My inner voice pulls me to the roof. My usual stronghold.

This is the voice inside me. It helps me erase obstacles. Yalda's father or anyone else.

Everything is to achieve one thing.

Death. Death. Death.

I am sick of this world. And everything in it.