Is it me, or do a lot of criminals seem to find Jesus Christ through the prison system?

It seems to be an easy way out for the scum of the earth. Just believe in Jesus as your lord and savior, he'll forgive you for your murder spree and you'll get into heaven for free. How does that not entice those who don't care for others, but is concerned about his wellbeing in the great beyond?

"It's ok, I'm reborn, those few rapes didn't count." - Brock Turner, probably

Just like every one of you, I'm uncertain of the afterlife. If heaven exists, maybe you'd forget about the life left behind, or gain this opioid like high that lasts an eternity so you wouldn't even care, but put that aside and imagine bumping into your murderer in heaven. With your physical self placed neatly back together, but memories still intact, along with the human emotions, you'd probably want revenge of some sort. This potentially violent interaction would only create a hostile environment, which is a terrible investment plan for the owners. It wouldn't look good on Jesus and definitely won't look good on God. Then, before they know it, they're canceled. Sponsers pull out, the book and movie deals fall through and Jesus is left beaten in the basement while dad unleashes another AIDS epidemic onto the world.

Really, how can you praise a God that might end up favoring a child molester over you just because you may have eaten fucking meat on a certain Friday that one time and never asked for forgiveness.

Great, so even if I pray for karma to hit that asshole who hacked my crypto wallet, it's probably not going to happen, because he goes to church every Sunday to give God an ego boost. As long as you kiss God's ass, you got an in to move on up. 

How is that not appealing? Come one, come all to worship a bitter, vengeful douchebag to get a free riding pass.

Sounds great, sign me up.