Crypto folks, in the words of the Pipettes, "I love you and I love you and I will love you!" Brothers and sisters of the blockchain, we love the earth y'all walk on, and we love the bones of the strapping Publish0x we hang out with y'all on! Hope we grow old together, & look back & laugh at these times!
Let's hold hands (unless y'all are guys, then a fist bump will do) and voyage into the stream of not quite love coming from the Financial Times.
First off - good news! BTC & ETH, or rather Bitcoin and Ethereum, once again grace the elegant pinkish front page. Long may they wave!! Maybe they were just off for the Fourth! For too long we had a tiny cartoon (from the WSJ? FT? NYT?) on our desk- The standing boss looks down on a wrecked employee crawling in. Boss says "everyone else got back to work on the fifth, Sawyer." Employee says "Yes, BJ, but I brought you some bar-b-que!!" Some kind of a hack on an American name in there, but whaddya gonna do.
Another FT front page inflation (secretly about BTC but no mention) story, this time on the Turkish Lira hitting ~80% inflation. The FT would rather die than let this dawg bark, but WE'LL tell ya - cause we love ya - BTC is legal in Turkey. It's VERY FUNNY!! e.g. last month in Istanbul football, the ref used a golden bitcoin for the coin toss!! The TFF (Turkish Football Federation) is investigating. But ~ten million Turks hold BTC. The big dog BtcTurk exchange is blowing thru $400,000,000 in volume per week - & there are 40 more exchanges working in Turkey. Hide that longterm, FT good luck!!!
Page 6 has another hard money sob story, secretly a cry for (unmentioned of course) Bitcoin. A new stooge, er, finance minister for Argentina. Economist humor at best here - the 22nd IMF ($44 billion this time) loan is failing, inflation at 70%, new guy is an unknown, the peso is tanking further and the old guy quit rather than face this week's trip to talk about the extra $2 billion owed to the Paris Club lol.
Wahey! Here's a real story openly about crypto - take a guess, is it wildly negative?? beyond our dreams. Vauld just locked up. TLDR - Singapore's Vauld was backed by $25mn raised last year from Coinbase, Peter Theil, & Pantera Cap. Vauld offered "annualized returns of up to 40%" (sic.) A $200mn bank run took them out. BlockFi (sic) and Celsius both stopped all withdrawals recently, & Three Arrows broke. Vauld was not exposed to Celsius nor Three Arrows, but investors fled anyway. Voyager is hurting, and BlockFi had $80mn in Broken Arrows.
The REAL story: Big number one - WTF?? Did BlockFi halt withdrawals?? THEY F_CKING DID NOT!!! YOUR BIAS IS SHOWING AGAIN ya -rsewipes. FT group made around $600 mm in revs in 2021, ya would think they have (&#$(&$$!! factcheckers!! These "mistakes" never EVER make crypto look good, do they? Dear readers remember laughing at an FT writer who first whinged about too many options in video, then said bitcoin/crypto suffers from a similar "total lack of scarcity "(ROFL.) We didn't mention it then, but she also spit on people paying money to Substack, while the FT was a REAL publication. NOONE ON SUBSTACK says BlockFi halted withdrawals !!!! Adam yer a clown, and go kick your editors and fact checkers.
Dig deeper, cause NOW the b-llshit detectors are GOING OFF!! what do we see?!?!? why you Lying sacks of ch-t!! CHECK THIS OUT -
Vauld NEVER EVER EVER EVEN OFFERED "annualized returns of up to 40% " you lazy alky cretins!! How eager to kick crypto are y'all? Have you NO shame?!?!? Wall street /City chestnut #99 "screw the poodle much?"!!??!!?
The 40% number came from a stupid referral coupon code, clickbait offering DISCOUNTS IN TRADING FEES for up to 40% of some bullshit low limit on deposits. Paid in CB whatever the *^@*^ that is. Who gives a CHIT about that cr-p Sweet Hashimoto Chr-st on a crutch, your crack(head) reporting team, editors and factcheckers fell for THIS CHIT!?!?! OK we just feel bad for you now man.....
Vauld offered less than 13%, maybe 14% annualized compounded returns. It would have been really hard to check that, it would have required GOING TO VAULDS OWN #$*&^#$*&^#!!! WEBSITE!!!??! Link below. Not even asking y'all to use the wayback machine you utter slugs. If in your infinite knowledge ya don't trust their own website, how does Techcrunch grab ya??
The FT will retract the BlockFi lie, you watch. But the 40% lie is already echoing around the interweb where losers like pyments.com are publishing rehashes based on misplaced trust in the FT's integrity and asleep at the wheel so called fact checkers.
Zoom out for YET still more more hypocrisy of the slanted FT crypto reporting: the REAL story is Nexo has signed a letter of intent to buy out Vauld. Dear readers know Nexo's Antoni Trenchev ain't nobody's fool. Our faith in him is why we dug down to discover the 40% horrowshow vicious lie about Vauld's ops. Antoni wouldn't touch anything like that.
One could say the FT couldn't report about Nexo because the story only broke today. We might agree, but the -sshats at the FT NEVER DID report that Nexo offered to buy/help out Celsius, and THAT story broke weeks ago. Still yet to be mentioned by the FT ( we've been watching) because that would have been positive news about centralized crypto lenders.
Adam, congrats, ya earned an UNPRECEDENTED SIX out of FIVE FFFFFUUUUUUU FU's. A new record, thanks to bias extending into outright lies. Leave the chitposting to us, OK? Y'all have a real job we would all kill for.
It's gonna be hard to finish this rag today, but integrity calls. Serenity now (madness later) next up: First, the headline has to punch down on the "painful selloff" one more time, ok fine.
The story TLDR: Swiss cryptodudes 21Shares launches an exchange traded product that tracks BTC for an additional cost of only 0.21%, much lower than rivals and their own products. Crypto number go down rehash. 21Shares' gimmick - they will loan out the BTC funded for interest, which 21Shares will keep, not the investors. This is legal because crypto ETPs escape Euroland's Ucits laws about securities lending. 21Shares will do over collateralized loans of BTC, Ether or USDC, which they say is very safe. The FT found a research guy David to say it's still risky. It's all about "products to weather the bear market." All 126 global crypto ETPs have only a quarter billion USD inflows this year, grand total ~six billion, "muted enthusiasm."
The real story: Dear readers know we hate anything that smacks of paper bitcoin in any form. It rapes the sacred 21 million limit hard, and echoes how the gummints kept / keep gold prices down. So this is vaguely depressing, but maybe not as bad as ETFs. The headline, rehash & content are anti-crypto, but not really reporter Steve's fault, if he steps out of line he probably won't get his expense accounts approved. It's funny how the FT thinks over collateralized loans are SAFU here, but not when say Nexo does them. Maybe 0.1 FU's for this story, we are short on FU's to give (lol) after the Vauld debacle.
That's almost it people!! Yay!!! Well, wait another article about, you guessed it, inflation but not even saying hard money.
YET another, the Big Read, is all about watching Japan struggle with loose money policy and the crashing Yen, which many say is the canary in the global coal mine. No mention of crypto of course in this FT article. Which IS very funny, cause stats say in 2020 Japan was the second largest trader by volume for BTC after the US. It’s a natural reaction to their 100% controlled markets. Japan was the first to kill price discovery. Though maybe all that volume was just Sammy Fried arbing their arses. Japan has been closing down / slow-rolling on cryto regs lately. Dear readers know Japan led the way in banning all but "locals only" stablecoins recently, which Euroland just yesterday mindlessly aped. Dear readers also know the Japanese fervor for BTC was (and still is) very cheering / uplifting for us to believe that Bitcoin is a truly global market that no single nation can ever crush. Let alone ink-stained wretches.
Peace, love & sats baby