In the spring of 1993, my husband left his then current job to take another job 1,850 miles away. At the time he was working for a minicomputer company in Massachusetts. His leaving for another job was probably a good decision since the company he worked for doesn't exist today. At the time, he programmed computer language compilers.
His new job involved working for a NASA contractor on the space shuttle payload software. He was also assisting with the transition from the old Mission Control that you see in old news footage and the movie Apollo 13 (a great movie, by the way) to a more updated facility on the NASA campus. We were very proud that he was able to be part of the space program for several years. However, this new job came at a price.
It involved me leaving everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) that was familiar to me and moving to the Houston area. A state I had visited exactly twice. A place I visited in August when it was 95F (35C) outside. A place I vehemently declared I would NEVER, EVER move to. Because it was so damn HOT.
Be careful when you make statements that start with"I will never....."
Because here we are, thirty years later, still in Texas. The good news is I still have zero regrets.
I have to say a few words about moving to Texas (Mars). I might as well have moved to a foreign country based on where I grew up. The culture in Texas is so very different from the culture in the northeastern US.
The first, and most important lesson I learned was to use the word "y'all." The first week I was in Texas, I noticed if I was at the Wal-Mart and started the sentence this way: "Can y'all tell me where the xxx is?", store employees were far friendlier than if I started the sentence "Can you...."
It took me five years to get used to drinking unsweetened iced tea (if you could find it unsweetened) when we were eating out (sugar in tea is gross). I'm one-half Canadian French. Tea should be hot (and still is for me every single afternoon), but it was next to impossible to find hot tea at restaurants when we first moved to Texas. I must have made an impact on the state as it is more readily available these days ha ha.
I learned that I no longer had a last name. From that point on, I became Miss (insert first name) to every child I met. To this day, the adults that I had known as small children still call me "Miss (insert first name)." It was odd, at first, but I like it because it creates a sense of closeness, familiarity, acceptance and community.
I also found out immediately that belonging to a church is a serious thing in Texas. You will be asked either of two questions when you move to a small community in Texas and meet someone for the first time. They either ask: "Where do you go to church?" or: "Have you found a church home?" If the answer to either of these questions is "no", then you get an immediate invite to their church. In fact, I'm still being asked today where I go to church where were we live now, as we are fairly new here and still meet new people. Church in Texas was unlike anything I'd experienced with my barely Catholic upbringing in the northeast. It's also where most of the best preschools are located. My son and his wife, who live in Texas and have no affiliation with a church, send their children to a church preschool.
And, finally, football (American version) is a treated as a religion, no matter what level is being played. I mentioned this in a previous blog post but it's worth repeating that the stadium at the high school my kids attended was a sports cathedral with a huge press booth. The stadium at the state university I attended in the northeast would only exist in community that had no interest in football (which isn't anywhere in Texas). I eventually became indoctrinated into the world of football, too, when my children decided that marching band was better than any type of physical education class they were required to take in high school.
It took a while before our house in the northeast sold, so we were in an apartment for almost a year. That was hard because apartment life is not conducive to acclimating and meeting other moms with children. However, for those months we were there, I sucked it up and made do by taking the kids to the park and to the pool at our complex. They were very young, and not even old enough for preschool yet.
Everything in Texas was different. My parents were 1,800 miles away. So was my brother, my sister and her family, my friends, and everything I was familiar with. My husband's parents (who I had only met a handful of times) were a few hours away and his sister and her husband were the only family we had in the area, and she worked crazy hours but usually managed to pop in and visit us in the apartment. She really worked hard to create events for us all that were kid-friendly and interesting.
Think about this: this was a time before cell phones, texting, internet and free phone calls. Telephone calls to my family and my husband's parents were considered 'long distance' and cost a lot of money. You got charged by the minute. It was the dark ages.......
So, life in Texas was challenging at the beginning. One thing I did was join a 'lady's gym," called Texas Lady Spa, and went to aerobics every morning at 5:30 am so I could be home before my husband had to leave for work. Yeah, I was motivated back then and MUCH younger...
I did struggle with weight then, too. I remember going to Weight Watchers and counting points. I did go to meetings. But eventually, I stopped and gained the weight back. I didn't understand that what I had to do was make permanent changes in my life and not just lose weight and go back to what I was doing before. It took me 30 years to figure that out, I guess.
Why am I telling you part of my life story? Big changes are scary, but many times they are what we need and can be the best thing for us. I would have had a very different life had we stayed in the northeast. I probably wouldn't have matured as quickly or been as self-reliant as I am today because my family would have been close by to run to with my problems and struggles. My husband and I would have struggled more financially, would not have lived in as nice a community and I would not have gone on to further my education as easily as I was able to do in Texas. There were many advantages that did not seem like advantages at the time but looking back, I see them all differently.
Were there tough times? Did we have struggles? Of course! BUT there would have been tough times and struggles had we not moved. They just would have been different ones. You can't escape tough times. They come no matter where you are. Sometimes you get blindsided and knocked on your ass. However, we need these challenges so we can grow as people. They help us get 'grit' and develop fortitude. Yes, they can really suck. Believe me, I know.
Big change may be scary, but that doesn't mean you should avoid it. Getting serious about losing weight was another big change for me. It was daunting. I had a long road ahead of me, and now, I KNOW it was the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time.
How about you? Is starting a weight loss plan a big scary change that you are avoiding? Maybe it's time to get started on your big change.
Here are a few links to some posts I have about the calorie deficit diet I followed to lose 70 pounds last year:
Calorie Deficit Diet - Ten Things I Want You to Know
The photo above is the actual Space Shuttle. We were fortunate enough to have seen it years ago during a stop in Houston on its way back to Florida after a landing in New Mexico. Yes, those are my little darlings in front of it.
(Photo courtesy of 7th Decade Redhead)
