I have a sister who is eight years older than me. She is my ride or die. We spend summers together, my husband and I camping on land next door to her and her husband. During the cold months, we are over 1,000 miles apart. She has been my weight loss buddy during my camping months. We quiz the other on what we ate that day when we are not sharing meals, discuss our failures and successes and sometimes walk together (when I can get her to slow the f$%k down). She is also the one person in my life that can tell me the brutal truth about myself without me becoming pissed off… well, not too pissed off anyway.
Because we grew up so far apart in age, we are not that much alike. She is a country/mountain person who lives in a log cabin. I spent 25 years in a yuppie planned community outside a big city. We have different tastes in many things (but not food ha ha). She is also a child of the 1960s, when everyone was doing anything and everything that felt good and felt safe doing it. I was a child of the 70s/80s, during the resurgence of conservatism and capitalism. I went to college, she did not.
Because we have different ‘coming of age’ experiences and lifestyles, we don’t agree on a lot of things (I know...shocker). So, after many debates about why what I’m doing/what she’s doing is better than what she’s doing/ what I’m doing, we decided that we could end any debate by simply telling the other person “I love that for you...” Meaning, it’s not my ‘cup of tea’ but I’m glad you like it for you. There is no debate after that statement.
It’s very hard for both of us when we see that the other is doing something in a different way than we would. We are both strong personalities who like to lead. I’m a craft beer drinker and love going to breweries. I could drink it every time we go out. Given the calorie count per pint of those tasty craft beers (200-400 calories) I made a decision to cut my alcohol consumption to practically nothing. I think I first went down to the occasional 95 calorie beer and then to the 55-calorie beer at home and the rare craft beer when we go to a brewery on our date night. It’s been reduced more over the last two months. I’ve replaced it with flavored seltzer water or hot tea.
My sister, however, chooses to find ways to fit her beer consumption into her diet. She’d rather modify her food intake rather than reduce her beer consumption to the level I have. I, of course don’t agree with her decision, from a health standpoint. My arguments are logical, so I can’t understand her decision. I’ve suggested she substitute seltzer water, argued that her calories should be better spent on food. Because, hey, I know best, right?
Over the course of my time camping next door to her, she’s watched me drop 40 pounds. Eight of those were during a 10 day period that I was sick as a dog with some sort of flu and didn’t want to eat. Every time she saw me, for a few weeks after I recovered, she would tell me I was skinny enough, that I didn’t need to lose more weight, and asked me if I was going to stop once I reached my goal weight, which was 60 pounds by 60 years. I told her that I wasn’t too skinny, was still considered overweight by a medical standard and that I would like to get in the range of weight that is considered healthy for me.
That would be 20 pounds beyond my 60 pounds lost weight. If I could attain that, I would be thin, for me. She doesn’t agree that I need to lose that much weight, but she’s not looking at me naked and seeing the fat around my middle, which is the unhealthy fat.
I would like to lose as much of that as I can. I cycle a lot so I have some hefty thigh muscles, which weigh a lot, she could be right. Also, are the weight guidelines practical for muscular athletic people? Maybe not, but I’m determined to have a doctor tell me I’m not overweight. It’s been 30 years.
The people in your life, whether they are dieting or not, are going to have opinions about how you are doing your weight loss plan and what you are eating, how you're exercising. I’m guessing at least one of them will tell you why what you are doing won’t work for them (as they float on the river denial). I have such a friend and I’ve learned to not debate her on that point.
You are also going to amass a lot of knowledge and experience with respect to food and portion sizes. Our weight loss plan works for us but doesn’t always work for someone else.
My sister is appalled at how big my lunch salads are. She says “How can you eat all that?” I simply tell her “I don’t want to get hungry between now and dinner and I can eat a lot of salad vegetables without eating a lot of calories.”
The bottom line is that she will never eat a salad as big as mine and I will not sit and drink two or three 55 calorie beers in a night a few times a week. We each have our priorities and that’s okay. She teases me about my salad, and I tease her about her 10-almond snack. We are both losing weight and working plans that we can tolerate week in and week out. That’s what is important.
So, your weight loss plan is working for you? Awesome! I LOVE that for you!
If you haven't started your weight loss plan yet but would like to learn more about a calorie deficit approach, check out my post:
