(photo courtesy of Rodrigo Arrosquipa)

I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that my sister has been my sidekick on this weight loss journey. Theree are great things about it and not so great things about it. One has to do with expectations.

We both tend to be ‘all or nothing’ type of people.  She tends to be more of a “I need to lose 100 pounds this week” type of person more than I am. I'm more of a "I want to lose 30 pounds this month" type of person. My expectations are sometimes a tad more reasonable than hers, yet still lofty and hard to attain.   We both start out strong, and then when we haven't lost 25 pounds in the first week, we give up because we haven't met "The Goal."

What can be challenging about having a diet buddy is that we run the risk of comparison. Having someone partnering with us on this journey, who sets more ambitious goals than we do, can sometimes be discouraging, even though you know they have set goals that will be extremely hard to achieve.  It can make us second-guess ourselves and our goals. Don't get bogged down in what someone else is trying to achieve. That's their journey, not yours, and they have different challenges physically, psychologically, and emotionally.

I am beginning to realize that I might have intentionally set unattainable goals so I would intentionally fail, convince myself I wasn’t going to lose weight, and give up the idea because “See? I tried it and it didn’t work….”.

My husband is a very quiet, stoic guy. When he does have something to say, it’s usually pretty good. He has thrown out a lot of one-liner wisdom at me over the years. One of my favorites is: “Don’t let perfection be the enemy of the good.” I think that is the way we have to approach weight loss.

The worst thing we can do is set up unrealistic expectations for ourselves and then not meet them. When we do that, we reinforce the notion that “dieting doesn’t work for me.”

When I got home from our summer camp, I received a lot of congratulations for having attained my 60 pounds by 60 years goal. One of the people that congratulated me commented that she couldn’t do that because “her body wouldn’t let her lose that much weight.” I immediately thought “wow, that's what I used to say” and told her that I used to say that. She reiterated that it was the case for her.  

What she was really saying was “I’m not ready to attempt a serious weight loss plan.” That was me last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. No amount of encouragement and insistence from anyone would have convinced me that I could lose 60 pounds if I just stuck to a plan and gave it several months. I had to decide that I was ready to do it, wanted to do it, and was determined to stick to the plan for however long it took.

You know how on the internet, no matter how much good information you have to convince someone your politics are the best for everyone because your information is so clear and convincing? And they insist their horrible politics are better? You will never be able to convince anyone to change their politics until they have a change of heart.  Yeah, it’s the same for weight loss. Until there is a belief system change for that person, they aren’t going to attempt a serious weight loss plan. For the sake of your frustration, avoid preaching from the soap box about weight loss.

When I started my weight loss plan, I didn’t set the goal immediately to lose 60 pounds by age 60. I wanted to lose around 50 pounds, with no time limit, which I thought was pretty attainable if I was patient and stuck to it.

After about a month of dieting, I began to entertain the idea of losing 60 pounds by my 60th birthday. I actually sat down with a calendar and counted out the weeks, to see if that was a reasonable goal. It seemed possible, so I decided to try. It doesn’t matter whether you want to lose ten pounds or 100 pounds. You have to be realistic with your goal.

Keep in mind that to lose one pound, we have to burn 3500 calories over and above what we eat.

A weekly weight loss of five pounds is 17,500 calories. This means our bodies have to burn 2,500 calories per day more than we consume, in order to lose five pounds in a week. 

To give you some perspective, the longest bicycle ride I did over the summer wad 34 miles. It took three hours, and my cycling app said I had burned 1,600 calories. 

Additionally, if your basic metabolic rate was 2,000 calories, meaning that your body burned 2,000 calories daily, just by existing, you could eat nothing each day, and it still wouldn't be enough of a deficit  to achieve that goal Of five pounds in a week.

Trying to burn an extra 2,500 calories a day is a lot of calories to burn for me, and not a reasonable goal. This is why it is important to manage expectations and set reasonable, achievable goals for ourselves.

In order to keep myself encouraged, I intentionally set up a weekly goal that I felt I could meet or exceed, since for me, success breeds success. I need the weekly affirmation that I am succeeding at what I have set out to do.  That motivates me to keep going.

It is possible to have a great week regarding food consumption, keeping calories at or below your set calorie limit for the week, and lose less than you feel you should. We never know what is going on inside of us. It may be that there are some bodily functions that have been happening less frequently than they should (that is the most delicate way I can think of to refer to pooping). It may be that water retention is the culprit. It could be simply that you were a boss at the gym this week, hefting weights around and now instead of fat, you have some muscle, which weighs more than fat.

One week’s results do not determine the long-term outcome of your weight loss plan. It’s a journey, with obstacles, forks in the road, bad directions, poor choices at times, short cuts, and beautiful weigh-in days where you thought you’d gained and actually lost, and days where you absolutely do not want to step on a scale, but know you need to.

Losing weight is a drama-filled experience because there is so much emotion and other BS we don’t talk about wrapped up in our weight. Some days I look in the mirror and I want to cry that I waited so long to lose this weight. Other days, I pinch the remaining fat around my middle and wonder if I will lose the rest of it. I believe you don’t get through this journey without your inner drama queen busting through.

I’m going to close out here with a tip. I haven’t mentioned this previously but writing ‘poop’ made me think of it.

One thing I do every single day is consume two teaspoons of soluble fiber mixed with a large glass of water. I started taking it because my husband’s cardiologist recommended it to help with his high cholesterol and mine was a bit high at the time. I keep taking it because it was wonderful in regulating my unpleasant bodily functions. I like the taste and consistency of the most popular brand that begins with “M”, and buy the one that is made with Stevia, not sugar. It will add 30 calories per serving to your daily calorie intake, but I feel those are calories are well worth it. I do not log this in my food diary, but since I usually consume less calories than my daily limit minus 30 calories for the soluble fiber, I'm okay with not logging it.

Please check with your medical professional if you want to start taking soluble fiber and make sure you follow the instructions and recommendations on the package.

At least you know now that I’m not full of sh%t…..