I've written about this before, but because we are on Week One of calorie deficit diet for you and a reboot of the diet for me (and maybe you as well if you have done this diet before), I feel it is important to bring it up again.  You may also be part of a support system for someone trying to lose weight. If so, I hope you find this helpful.

I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating. When I talk to friends who are overweight about dieting and specifically about what I have done/am doing (if they ask me), one of the main responses I get back is "That won't work for me. I've tried it." When I've questioned how they've tried it, I find out that they really didn't try it, the way I explained how I do this diet.

What I discover is that they didn't weigh or measure food, they 'guestimated', if that. Or maybe they did it correctly for a week and didn't lose what they wanted to. Or maybe they are just telling me that because they don't want to try this diet.

Some friends are even adamant that "their body doesn't work that way..."  I know that last excuse very well. It was mine for 25 years.  And it's a lie. A lie we tell ourselves to keep from having to deny ourselves the emotional comfort and satisfaction of foods we love to eat, in quantities that are unhealthy for us. 

If I were to be at their house and look in their refrigerator and pantry and see nothing but healthy fruits and veggies and no processed foods or snacks, or pre-prepared store-bought side dishes or meals, I would say, okay, maybe your body doesn't work that way and you should look into this with a doctor.

That is not what I see in the home of a person who told me this diet doesn't work for them. I see counter tops and pantries with snack foods, candy, crackers, cookies, and breads. I see a refrigerator loaded with processed meats, cheeses and all types of things I do not eat on this diet.

When I talk to some other friends, they tell me they don't like this healthy food or that healthy food, that they don't want to eat the same thing over and over, and they can't give up chocolate or some other guilty pleasure food or drink because it's the one thing that gives them pleasure.

I'm just going to put this out there because I've been there. If your ONLY or MAIN pleasure in life at home is a food or drink item you consume, then maybe it's time to think about making changes in your life at home so that your contentment and happiness isn't attributed to a food or drink item that you consume.  Please consider fixing this so that you find your happiness, peace and contentment elsewhere. As good as it tastes, chocolate isn't the solution to your happiness (yes, it's shocking news).  It's a quick hit, like a drug. Believe me, I KNOW. 

When I started this blog, I did a little bit of a deep dive into why I thought I was overweight.  I put up a post about this:

In a Relationship With Food (It's Complicated)

You can read about me, but honestly, you are going to have to do your own deep dive. The answer is there, I promise.  It's probably painful, and you might not get all the answers you need at once. You just have to have the courage to start looking at it.

Unfortunately, once you do this, it means you now have to consider doing something about it. Yeah, that sucks... It really does.  The hard part will be that you have two or more problems to tackle: the life changes you need to make to find happiness with something other than food or drink, a plan to eat healthier and lose any excess weight you have, and maybe some other changes that you didn't anticipate.

One of my friends says that she just can't handle doing anything more. She's working a difficult job and has nothing left. I honestly believe that if she started this diet, not only would she feel better physically and emotionally, but she would also be less stressed out because she would actually be taking control of something in her life that is weighing heavily on her (no pun intended) and fixing it.

Yes, it's very easy to say, "just do it." It's very, very hard to actually do it. Do not minimize how difficult major change is. You will be battling yourself and the people around you who may not like the changes you make. 

For those of you reading this who don't have a weight problem, eat healthy, have a good life, but have friends who struggle with being overweight or are obese, I want you to start really believing that being overweight is like any other health issue. Until you are suffering from it yourself, you have no idea how difficult it is to overcome.  It's not as simple as 'just eat less.' Each one of us overweight people is carrying a boat load of emotional baggage that has to be examined with respect to our relationship with food and then changed so that food ceases to become a crutch for our emotional angst.

Dealing with this crap is painful, hard, and sometimes impossible to do without professional help.  Even when we lose the weight, we are still "overweight people", who have to manage their weight with an eagle eye.  So, be kind and don't give the flippant advice of "just eat less." Even though that is technically a valid and correct solution, it's not easy for anyone struggling with long-term obesity to get to that place.

You can do this diet. It will work for you. You will lose weight if you do it correctly. You won't starve. You might be grumpy for a few days without your sugar high, but you will get past that if you are patient.  

It's not too late to get started on this journey with us. If you want to join us, here is how to get started:

Get on the scale and weigh yourself (for me, this was the hardest part). You need to know what weight you are. 

Create an account at My Fitness Pal (free version).  There is a My Fitness Pal website you can use, but it's easier to use the cell phone app because you need to be able to log your food easily when you are preparing it and it's easier to have your phone to do that. Make sure you provide ALL the required information (remember they need it for the Basal Metabolic Rate calculation). If you don't like this app, find another one but you need an app that has a food database, can calculate your daily calorie allowance, and will track your weight.

Pick a reasonable weight loss goal. I would suggest one pound a week. You can always choose to eat fewer calories than required for the one pound per week goal if you are feeling motivated. That is how I approached my weight loss plan and it worked for me. 

Purchase a food scale if you do not have one.  They are around $10US to $15US. Weighing solid food is more accurate than measuring volume. Weigh food when you can, rather than plunking it in a measuring cup.

Do your best the first few days to stick to your daily calorie allowance. 

Good Luck!

Taking stock of Day Four:

Stayed under my daily calorie count

Did not exercise