A Comedy of Eros
By Gabrielle Bard of Potedia
April, 47 B.C.
I sing of the day when love ran deep and bliss was left unattended. Love ran hard and rampant within everyone whom had crossed the path of bliss. Even Xena the warrior princess and the battling bard of Potedia found themselves wrapped up within all of it. Their adventure began with word of the warlord Draco in the valley. He planned on kidknapping the last of the hestian virgins and to make a profit from their spoils. As soon as Xena had heard of this she had decided that protecting the sacred rites of the last of the hestians was her personal responsibility. Actually Xena was bored for there had been little good to be done in the world. So this was a chance for the warrior princess to make another mark within her own legends. The bard had known her friend to be unable to sit still within quiet peace for too long.
Now that the restless warrior princess was back in action she and Gabrielle found themselves attending a sacred hestian virgin ceremony. The two warrior women stood watch over the young hestian virgins as the young women followed their priestess outside the temple and down the temple stairs. Each of the women wore white flowing clothing and white veils which covered their faces. They carried their white doves with them as the head priestess led a prayer to their virgin goddess. Ceremonial bells rang as the young women released their white doves into the sky as a gesture and a promise to the goddess Hestia. Their promise was to remain committed to Hestia for peace, and charity. They promised that their minds and bodies would be free from impurity. Gabrielle looked to Xena with a subtle opinion about this as the ceremony came to a close. There had been no sign of Draco or his men yet.
Gabrielle watched the virgins head back into their temple quietly and then made her thoughts known to Xena. She was amazed by the commitment of these young women to their goddess. Yet Xena was unimpressed, but not about the virgins. She was certain that Draco might show himself at the ceremony, but he had not. Xena was speaking her warrior thoughts outloud to the bard explaining that she thought that Draco most likely would be scouting out the village first before bringing in his troops to take the virgins. Xena was not amazed at all that Draco had not shown up for she commented that he was as smart as warlords come. Gabrielle had not been thinking of the same thing that the warrior princess had been. She interjected that her amazement was about the virgins and their commitment. Xena’s mind was still focused on looking out for Draco despite having answered Gabrielle with a joke. She added that the requirement beyond the commitment was something to be impressed by. Xena was still scouring the village intently with her eyes as Gabrielle interjected into Xena’s thoughts more deeply explaining that being chased must be really difficult when the requirement was so difficult to keep. Xena appeared slightly annoyed that the bard was even talking about chastity. Her response to Gabrielle’s comment was to play it off explaining that she had been talking about having to listen to those annoying bells for a lifetime of commitment every morning. Then Xena walked away. Gabrielle was left to think of her own dirty mind for a moment realizing that she had been caught fantasizing. The bard was not certain that Xena really knew what she had been thinking of or had been talking about so she just agreed about the bell comment and followed the warrior princess onto the main road through the village.
Gabrielle could not give up the thoughts trying to imagine and wrap her mind around the life of a hestian virgin. She again tried to entice Xena into thinking about it explaining that it would be hard to give up the chance to fall in love again. That was even more tragic than the passion that would obviously be missing in a virgin’s life. Xena didn’t seem to care too much about that part of the commitment. She was still looking for Draco or any sign of his men scouting the village. Gabrielle pressed the warrior princess for more conversation despite the distraction of looking for Draco. She explained that Xena could not give up on love despite the past and the many heartaches. The warrior princess responded to the bard explaining that she had not given up on love. It was obvious that love was the last thing on Xena’s mind. Gabrielle was hoping to teach the warrior princess something about love on this day. She continued by explaining that yes there were no guaruntees with love, but it was good that Xena had not yet given up on love for when love was right it could be the most potent force in the world.
Xena then responded to the bard attempting to snap Gabrielle out of her blissful love fest explaining that this was exactly the reason why they needed to stay focused on finding Draco and protecting the virgins. The bard realized that Xena was in no mood for philosophical conversation. She was totally focused on the mission. Gabrielle realized that she had to change gears for Xena was in no mood. Gabrielle began to talk about Draco something Xena appeared to be extremely interested in. Her first question to Xena was why did he seemingly have the entire field to himself. Gabrielle was certain that there should be a flock of warlords lining up for the chance to sell all of the hestian virgins for profit. Every last one of them in the province were with in the village. There were no others any place else. Xena explained that only the most courageous warlords would commit such a crime defiling the temple of a goddess. She was certain that it would require even more courage for a warlord to go up against Draco himself. Xena finished by stating that she could not think of any warlord by name crazy enough to defile the temple and go up against Draco. If there were another warlord capable of this madness she would have remembered him by now.
Just then the answer to that question made his presence known. He shouted out across the village market calling to Xena. The voice was all too familiar. It was annoying to hear its echo. The ears could hear his bumbling approach from behind with the sounds of his breast plate clapping up against his cheap armor. Xena realized in that moment that Joxer was truly crazy. Only he would be stupid enough to show up in a duel against Draco. Joxer was delighted to find Xena and Gabrielle there. He explained that as soon as he had heard the rumor about Draco he was certain that he would find Xena there. For several seasons Xena and Gabrielle had been able to avoid the presence of the bumbling idiot, but now that they had returned from their long journeys at sea in far away places it seemed that they could not avoid Joxer the Mighty. Xena was clearly annoyed and irritated as Gabrielle muttered under her breath that the mission couldn’t be more difficult without his presence. This only added to the difficulty. Everyone would have to watch out for Joxer for he would be certain to find his own doom quickly.
As Xena and Gabrielle quietly continued on walking through the village Joxer wanted to be filled in on Xena’s plan for he had heard Draco was a tough guy. There was a quick response, but it was not from Xena. It was Draco himself. He responded to Joxer affirming the rumors. Suddenly the three companions turned around to see Draco riding into the village with three of his scouts. Xena’s sword was instantly drawn to face the enemy. Joxer had drawn his bulky dull blade, but did not know how to hold it properly. Gabrielle just put her staff down relaxing herself as Xena approached Draco calmly. The bard could see that Xena did not feel threatened for she was holding her sword by the side. Usually the warrior princess would be in a ready for battle stance. This time was unusual and different. Xena greeted Draco casually, but with bravado. Gabrielle sensed that Xena was trying to project a certain image to him. Draco dismounted his horse calmly and approached Xena with respect and the same bravado. He spoke her name attempting to read the warrior princess’s intensions. Joxer had lowered his sword by now as if trying to understand what was going on. There was a long pause between Xena and Draco. Uncertainty cut through the air for no one could determine if there would be a move toward sudden battle.
Draco attempted to ease the tension reminding Xena that it had been a while since their last meeting. Xena spoke nothing. She walked casually toward Draco and then agreed that with him that it indeed had been a long time. It had been too long for her as she went in for the passionate kiss. Both Gabrielle and Joxer found themselves stunned for neither of them had expected that move from Xena. The passionate kiss lasted several moments until Draco ripped himself away from the warrior princess in shock yet complete satisfaction. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, but then he commented on the positive welcome and asked the warrior princess what he had done to deserve her passions. Xena then responded as she walked around him with her back to his men. She explained that it was what he would not do that earned her affections. It appeared to be another warrior princess clever ploy, but Gabrielle thought that maybe that kiss was a bit over the top. Xena continued that a lot more was to come for him. She was smiling as if she were tickled inside by his presence. Draco appeared irritated by this request and firmly stated that he would not allow Xena to foul up the largest score of his life no matter what she had to offer him. Her passions were not enough.
Draco had put his hand upon his sword ready to make a move for he became instantly untrusting of the warrior princess despite the passion. He turned to face Xena firmly standing his ground. Xena appeared to feel little threat from him as she reached up to his face and began stroking it. Her eyes were fixated into his as if she were entranced by the dark warlord. She smiled gently reminding Draco that he had forced a love affair between them in the past. It was as if she were hoping that he would still have feeling for her. As Gabrielle watched the scene unfolding before her she struggled to figure out what was actually going on. It appeared that Xena was in love with Draco. Her performance was too genuine to be an act. If it were the bard thought that it was the best performance she had ever seen from the warrior princess. Joxer interrupted the moment of thought demanding to know what it was that Xena was actually doing. He was on the same thought as Gabrielle just one verbal moment ahead. Gabrielle was concentrating on her own observations. Then she noticed Draco’s soft emotional response to Xena. He had indeed remembered the past that Xena reminded him of. For the moment Gabrielle was relieved voicing out to Joxer with reluctant confidence that this was all part of Xena’s plan.
In the next moment Draco took Xena’s hand and kissed it pausing for a long passionate exchange of emotion. It was sexual tension screaming out to everyone who was witnessing the event. It appeared that even Xena was no longer in control of herself. Gabrielle was sure that something had gone terribly wrong. She was just not certain what it was. Then she responded to Joxer expressing her hopeful concern to him. It appeared that Xena was lost as to where she had been taking things. The warrior princess suddenly backed off from Draco’s recipricating passions and pushed herself away from him. This prompted Draco’s men to dismount their horses preparing to do battle. Draco stopped them shouting out that Xena was his alone. Xena created more distance between herself and Draco. Gabrielle realized that all of the sexual tensions and passions were about to explode into a full battle. The bard began to create some distance between herself and Draco as Joxer followed her movement.
Xena then smirked at Draco and enticed him into battle. Draco appeared to be angry with his male ego bruised deeply. He ripped his sword into battle swinging wildly for Xena cutting through the air above and below as the warrior princess ducked and jumped to miss his throws. Draco screamed out his powerful battle cry in frustration. It was as if he were experiencing a bit of hurt inside. He charged forward in for the kill as Xena flipped across his move toward her and landed behind him with a battle cry. Draco countered her flip to recovered running up the body of his scout flipping backward turning to face Xena again. His sword was already in motion before he had completely faced the warrior princess who was more than ready for his move. She met his sword at her face with his defensive yet smooth. There was power within her grip as she held steady against his brawn.
Xena interjected with excitement that he had picked up some new moves since they had last met. Draco responded that he had been practicing well. With that he spun around in the opposite direction and cut his sword from low to high, but Xena countered that move as well defensively down steadily. She retorted that practice sounded exhausting. Draco tried to grab the advantage of Xena’s seemingly out of control passions. He stated that instead it was refreshing. Draco powerfully threw Xena’s block down and tried to back hand his sword across her head, but she ducked the move and then blocked his reverse move edge to edge. Xena responded by stating that she could think of other ways to get refreshed. She was inviting him to her bedroll openly.
Draco quickly disarmed her, but did not raise his sword for the kill. Instead he responded that he could not deny his passions for her, but if she stood in his way he would kill her despite the irresistable passion. He was uncertain if the warrior princess understood him. She responded that she indeed knew him better than he thought. With that she kicked him across the face. His ego had been greatly worn down, but Draco did not cave in. Instead he ordered his men back to camp and shealthed his sword. He stumbled away extremely hot and bothered as he mounted his horse and gave Xena another warning to stay out of his business. Then he rode off. Gabrielle suddenly approached Xena very disapproving of this methodical plan of passion. It was more than anyone watching could handle without getting extremely excited. Gabrielle demanded that Xena talk about this issue and get it worked out. It appeared that Xena herself was unaware of her sexual energy and drive for Draco of all people. When Gabrielle suggested to Xena that it was time for a deep conversation Xena was still distracted as if she were within her own erotic fantasy. The warrior princess was caressing her breast plate. Gabrielle could not believe that there could be a fate worse than madness until now.
Upon returning the camp just outside the village the warrior princess had decided that all she really needed was to work out her intense sexual desires. She crafted a pig’s bladder into a punching bag and hung it from a tree. For over and hour Gabrielle and Joxer watched Xena pummel the pig’s bladder hoping that Xena could enlighten them on her condition and poor choice of planning. The warrior princess refused to admit that her sex drive for Draco had defeated her in some way. Gabrielle found herself nearly disgusted with the idea that Xena was hot for Draco. The bard stood watching with her staff trying to piece together what had gone wrong. This was unlike the warrior princess, but it was definitely not madness this time. Maybe Xena was enchanted by Aphrodite’s power. Ares could have arranged for it as a way to get back at the warrior princess for outwitting him against the furies. Then again he might find himself jealous of Xena’s lust for another mortal. Gabrielle was at a loss for answers. She continued to watch Xena pound the bladder and she began to count the number of punches. Gabrielle was fascinated by Xena’s intense concentration despite the fact that it seemed to do no good.
Finally Gabrielle broke the long intense silence asking the warrior princess what was wrong with her. Xena just continued punching the bladder responding that her workout would solve the problem. Gabrielle was certain that if the workout had been the solution it would have been over by this point. Then Joxer interjected as if amused at this new side of the warrior princess suggesting that she try a cold swim. He expressed that it always seemed to work for him and then he laughed. Gabrielle shot Joxer a disgusted glance irritated that he was even encouraging the warrior princess to take her desire seriously. The bard was still very much in disbelief of the idea of Xena being in lust with Draco. She did not like that Joxer was no solidifying it. Joxer received the hint clearly explaining that he had only heard that cold swims cured desire. He tried to regain serious thoughts, but appeared to be just as lustful about someone. Who knew what could turn on the idiot. Yet this was not Gabrielle’s immediate concern. The thought passed quickly as Gabrielle questioned Xena about being hot for Draco. If the idea was going to be real Gabrielle had to hear Xena speak it. Xena replied that it was a ridiculous idea and brushed off Joxer’s personal discovery. Gabrielle was seemingly more relieved that Joxer could be wrong about his observations of the warrior princess although it certainly did not appear that Xena was telling the truth about her feelings for Draco. Gabrielle’s open relief was crushed when Xena explained that she was responding to the dark part of herself that had a weakness for bad boys. There was no comfort in this thought for the bard. It was just like dealing with the furies all over again.
Gabrielle continued to watch the warrior princess who had stopped punching the bladder. She was now punching thin air as if she were a captive of her own desires. Joxer quietly acknowledged that he was correct about Xena. He was extremely amused by it. Unfortunately this meant that Gabrielle would have to rely on him since it was obvious she would not be able to rely on the warrior princess in stopping Draco. Gabrielle was irritated and frustrated that she had to deal with this. She expressed this openly to Xena stating her thoughts outloud. Xena was too worked up over the bad boy warlord to be useful to anyone involved. There was not a chance of her coming out of this mission alive if all she really wanted to do was bang the warlord. Xena’s response to this was that it would not be a problem for he had attempted to change himself for the better in the past. Xena was seemingly fixated on this idea as Gabrielle found herself unable to believe that the warlord who had almost succeeded in selling her entire village to slave traders could be changed for the better. There was not faith in Gabrielle’s heart for Draco. Xena rebutted the argument reminding the bard that she herself had been able to change for the better after all that she had committed in the past. She was certain that Draco was no different. Gabrielle found herself wishing that the furies were still within Xena’s mind. At least that would explain her irrational thought process and behavior. The bard could have accepted that. Xena ended the futile conversation with a powerful spinning kick knocking the bladder from the tree bouncing right off of Joxer’s forehead. Then she proclaimed that she would be the one to save Draco and dashed off toward Draco’s camp more excited than ever.
Gabrielle decided that the best thing to do was to take Joxer and go back to the village to keep an eye on the hestian virgins. Eventually either Xena, Draco, or both of them would return there to duel over their fates. The bard found herself openly confiding in Joxer on the journey back to the village. She obviously did not realize that he could at least read the warrior princess somewhat for it was Joxer whom had brought the issue of Xena’s sexual desires into the open. Joxer could even sense Gabrielle’s uneasiness within their situation. He confidently asked Gabrielle what there was to be worried about. Xena’s plan was a good one. Gabrielle explained that it was not Xena’s plan that worried her. It was the fact that it now included saving Draco from his bad boy self. This was unlike the warrior princess even in madness. Joxer brushed off the bard’s concern reminding her that it was bad boy types like himself that got the warrior princess all hot and bothered. Gabrielle could not classify Joxer as a bad boy, but that was not the point. If Xena being attracted to bad boys was all it was then why would Xena want to put in the effort to change the bad boy. Joxer paused in his step for a moment and realized that Gabrielle was right. That course of action was abnormal for the warrior princess. Gabrielle continued asking why the warrior princess could not just get a grip over her lustful desires, save the virgins, and move onto the next thing. Joxer agreed without question to this theory brought forth by Gabrielle.
Gabrielle was running every moment through her mind in analytical detail. She asked Joxer if he had been watching the way that Xena had fought Draco. Normally Xena would have pressed her advantages, but she had not pressed any of them. There were many moments within the battle against Draco in which Xena could have just taken control and the virgins would have been saved already. Joxer appeared to miss Gabrielle’s point. He didn’t appear concerned about that. Gabrielle could only think of the trouble that they were now deeply buried in. Not only that, but Xena was no where to be found in the village which meant that she was probably with Draco doing who knew what. For several hours Gabrielle and Joxer stood in front of the temple of Hestia guarding the virgins inside. Not a thing happened. All was quiet, but there was still no sign of Xena or Draco. Joxer voiced this same thought outloud thinking that it was possible that Xena had succeeded in changing Draco for the better. Gabrielle was not so convinced of this idea for this was Draco the flesh peddling warlord who would sooner kill people than have mercy upon them. She made her thought known openly as she paced over the steps and twirled her staff out of boredom. Then she asked herself out loud as if she were alone now hoping for an affirmation of her own thoughts.
Suddenly there was a response from a familiar male voice. It wasn’t Joxer, but Draco who had now arrived affirming Gabrielle’s certain thoughts. Gabrielle was ripped into clarity for Draco had brought a few of his scouts along to defile the temple of Hestia. Joxer was now held by the scouts upon their horses. They had a large rope constricting his neck as if they were preparing to hang him. Gabrielle’s staff was instantly raised ready to defend as if it had somehow become instinct. Her muscles were tensed ready for battle. She suddenly realized she was alone going up against Draco. Draco responded to Gabrielle’s physical readiness explaining bluntly that if she resisted him that Joxer would most certainly be killed. Now Gabrielle had to make a choice. It was either Joxer’s life or the virgins as she whispered Joxer’s name regretfully across her lips. As she accessed the situation with her eyes she realized there were at least four warriors against herself. If Xena were there it would be a no brainer. The risk would be worth it for Xena could most certainly press the advantages, but Gabrielle was certain that she herself could not handle a battle with odds of four to one. As Gabrielle was accessing things Draco grew impatient and shouted out the command to hang Joxer to his men.
Gabrielle watched Draco’s men tighten the noose upon Joxer’s neck as the helpless inexperienced warrior struggled for a breath. The bard responded verbally pushing Draco to raise his hand against the command. He waited with confidence for Gabrielle’s final response. The bard lowered her staff sideways and then slowly dropped it to the ground surrendering to Draco. She was certain that Draco would most likely kill her next, but to save Joxer she would sacrifice herself and the virgins. Draco gleefully commanded his men to round up the virgins which surprised Gabrielle for a moment. She expected to die, but instead Draco’s men rushed into the temple and grabbed her taking her captive along with Joxer. Quickly he commanded his men to tie up the captives and leave them at the center of the village. Bound and gagged with Joxer was not a pleasant experience. Gabrielle was angry that she had even been forced to make the choice to save Joxer or the virgins. He was such an idiot. If he had only been watching for Draco instead of talking about the warlord the two of them might have had a fighting chance to stop him. Two against four would have been much better odds despite the fact that Joxer was one of the two. There was little time to debate this being bound and gagged to a post in the middle of the village. Gabrielle decided that while Draco and his buddies were occupied insidet he temple that it was a great chance to escape. She tried to communicate this to Joxer who seemed to miss every command. In fact it seemed as if he were trying to get physically closer to the bard. She thought that he was trying to deny touching her, but she wasn’t certain that was what he had said.
Just then the temple doors swung open. Both Xena and Draco had emerged calmly together. It appeared that there was no tension between them of any kind. They were relaxed and seemingly having a good time together. Gabrielle called out to Xena through her binds relieved that she might be freed from being tied down to Joxer. Xena exchanged a few words of banter with the warlord as they approached. She was confident that Draco would not kill her friends for they would make good bargaining chips. Draco just laughed for he was forever impressed with the warrior princess’s mind. She was a master of war and could be a great teacher even for the bad boys who followed her career. Xena approached Gabrielle taking down her gag. Gabrielle thanked the warrior princess for being relieved of this torture in being with Joxer. Just as Xena was loosening the ropes from their wrists Gabrielle suddenly felt a strange sensation within her left shoulder. It felt almost like she had been pierced by a sharp object like an arrow or a poison dart. When Gabrielle looked down to see what it was her mind suddenly went numb. She felt a strange emotional response coming on. It was almost as if her mind were lighter than it had been while under the influence of henbane. Gabrielle called to Xena and looked behind for her friend, but Xena was not there. When the bard turned to look the other way she saw something so serene and handsome. The charm was unmistakeable. He was so cute the way he wiped the sweat off of his tongue onto his finger, and that sour face was enticing and loveable.
Gabrielle could not resist the urge to reach out and touch his clothing. As she stroked his chest gently and gazed into his manly eyes Xena said something about going off to play with Draco. The warrior princess left leaping and bounding, but that seemingly did not matter any more for there before the bard of Potedia stood Joxer the Mighty warrior. Joxer looked to Gabrielle expressing that things were strange. For a slight moment there was focas within Gabrielle’s mind as she agreed with Joxer, but it passed quickly into complete and utter bliss. All was crazy with in the world, but no one cared because everyone was surrounded with eternal bliss. The bard had forgotten the problem of Xena being in love with Draco. In all fairness Xena deserved a little rest and relaxation even if it was with Draco. Gabrielle spent the afternoon with Joxer the Mighty singing his famous song. She wanted to make sure that she had it recorded perfectly within her scrolls because Joxer deserved nothing less than perfection. The first rule within the bard’s scrolls is write what you know. Gabrielle had not had the true blissful experience when writing “For Him The Bell Tolls” because she had not experienced his bliss for princess Illiandra until now.
Joxer again blew his brilliantly constructed whistling instrument and began the tune. His voice was soothing and sexy as Gabrielle tuned her own voice to his. Yet he was much more lovely with his enticing smile as he belted out his famous tune. The bard could not resist touching his arm and stroking it gently as she focased in on his manly bodice. She was moving in closer as the song finished and Joxer’s smile glowed delightfully. The bard used the opportunity to move into her love focasing on his lucious ear as she blew into it to entice his love for her. Joxer missed this moment of passion eminating from the bard’s lust for him. She decided that she needed to set the mood to losen his nerves as she rose from the bedroll they shared together and reached for her scroll bag. There she would most certainly be able to recapture the essence of Aphrodite’s bell which tolled for Illandra and brought love’s passionate power out of the super sexy warrior. Gabrielle longed to feel what princess Illiandra had felt and so she proceeded to remind Joxer and to read from the scroll. When Gabrielle asked Joxer if he remembered the beautiful love story he agreed with her that indeed that story had been beautiful.
Joxer was seemingly unaware of Gabrielle’s growing passions for him as he sipped his water from his wooden mug. Joxer the Mighty was seemingly unaffected by the reminder of his love for Illiandra so Gabrielle decided to move in close to him and to caress his chest as she pulled playfully with his clothing. He was so cute when he was nervous as Gabrielle bit one of the loose strings of his shirt hoping to recapture the overwhelming lust that he had felt for Illiandra. Gabrielle asserted herself and her thoughts outloud explaining the rules of her scrolls to Joxer moving in even closer to him. She could feel his pulse rising as was her own as she began to kiss his neck and shoulders while he continued to talk. There would be time to talk later as Gabrielle pursued her love and began to kiss his face and then nimble upon his ear. Joxer said something about keeping an eye out for Xena, but the bard did not have her eyes upon the warrior princess. Her eyes were now only for Joxer. No one else could quench her lust and her feelings of passionate love. The moment of passion had come as Gabrielle thrust forward onto Joxer delivering furiously passionate kisses upon his sweet tasty lips. She could still feel his nervousness. As he grasped her shoulders to take hold of the passionate fire buring within his manly strength.
Just as the exstacy of passion was rapidly rising within their bodies Joxer was overpowered into a choking fit. He pushed away from the bard trying to recover. Gabrielle was delighted that he felt so passionate about her. This was more than should could have ever dreamed or wished for. Yet her delight turned to concern when Joxer could not stop choking and coughing. She began to pound upon his back hoping to help him regain his breath once more. The bard asked if he was okay as he responded through the coughing with an affirmation. Then he whispered as if his mouth and throat were suffering from extreme dryness as he asked for some water. He repeated the request a few times before Gabrielle could understand. She was quick to respond as soon as she knew how she could rescue Joxer from his suffering. Gabrielle dashed for the water bottle grabbing her staff along the way. Then she rushed down toward the lake. The bard’s feet could seemingly not carry her fast enough to get to there.
When Gabrielle finally reached the lake she saw Xena in the middle of it just sitting there submerged within the cold water. Only the head and shoulders of the warrior princess were visible. Gabrielle’s passions began to fade slightly as her curiosity of the warrior princess rose within. As Gabrielle knelt down to retrieve water for Joxer the Mighty she inquired of Xena’s seemingly strange actions. There was a hint of a reminder of slight jealousy creeping within the hazy passions for Joxer. Xena soon reminded Gabrielle of her uncontrollable lust when she stated that she was taking Joxer’s advice and taking a cold swim. Although the warrior princess stated that it was hard to believe that she was even taking Joxer’s advice Gabrielle didn’t find it implausible that Joxer the Mighty would be full of graet advice and ideas. The bard then thought of his song again as Xena responded as if disgusted that Joxer even had a brain at all. Gabrielle shrugged off the negetive attitude toward her love coming from Xena as she defended him explaining how wonderful his song was and how he had been teaching it to her all afternoon.
The bard began to embody herself with the passions as she imagined that she was pricness Illiandra and he was singing his beautiful song to her. Somehow the song embodied him and his essence which allowed Gabrielle to carry it with her everywhere she went as long as she could just sing it. The bard was enthralled as she sang and caressed her water bottle for she could not wait to get back to him with his request and to save him from dehydration. Xena rose from the lake disgusted again stating that there was something off balance about Gabrielle suddenly complementing Joxer for in the past she had always detested him. The bard did admit that there had been a time that she had felt that way about her love, but now it was all so very clear to her for the first time. Gabrielle proudly declared to the world and to the warrior princess that she loved Joxer the Mighty. Xena stood up from her seated place upon the log by the lake and she responded in disbelief as if she had not heard Gabrielle’s declaration. The bard admitted that indeed these feelings and actions coming from her were a shock, but all Gabrielle could think about was the moment in which she had suddenly fallen from him back at the village after being untied. It was a bliss like no other. Even Perdicas had not evoked such deep feelings from her heart, her mind, and especially her body. The bard declared herself to have been blind of her own feelings which led her to preach her philosophical thoughts outloud with conviction. For maybe love truly was nothing more than blindness. For a moment the bard’s thoughts turned to the idea that maybe she was ranting, but instead she decided that the idea sounded romantic and that it needed to be recorded upon her parchment when she returned to Joxer.
Xena was arguing the bard’s point reminding her that Joxer was nothing more and only Joxer. Gabrielle witnessed the disgust eminating from Xena’s face. The face that the warrior princess made when talking about Joxer was insulting and unattractive. This only angered the bard for it demonstrated Xena’s lack of respect for the Mighty and sexy warrior. She decided that there was only one course of action. Gabrielle would entice Xena into a duel to fight for Joxer’s honor. It would most certainly prove her love and commitment to him. Gabrielle reminded Xena that Draco was not the prize that she made him to be on this day. Then she drove her passion home by comparing Joxer to the bloodthirsty and unattractive warlord Draco. Gabrielle declared that being in love with Joxer was most certainly more noble and worthy. Xena was quick to defend her ugly lover trying to argue that he had seen the error of his warlord ways and that he was no longer the way that Gabrielle had described him to be. She stumbled to defend him and Gabrielle could see that even Xena was not so certain of Draco’s truest intensions, but it did not matter. Gabrielle knew exactly what Joxer’s intensions were. They were of pure love and lust. As the argument of lover’s escalated it was soon interrupted by the sounds of screaming virgins from the village in the distance.
Both Xena and Gabrielle sanpped into action as they dashed toward the village continuing their battle of verbal wits. As they entered the village Gabrielle shouted out to Xena reminding her that he had not changed. His present actions only proved it as he could be seen ringing the bell in the center of the village while his men were snatching up virgins all around them left and right. Xena had been defeated in proving that her lover was the better prize. She approached Draco with disappointment reminding him that she had thought that they had agreed that he would not steel the virgins. He laughed defiant of the warrior princess and stated that she had thought wrong. It was obvious to the bard that Xena was in love with a man that could never have respect for her. Draco pushed the warrior princess away and onto the ground as he drew his weapon and prepared to rid himself of her. Gabrielle knelt down to help Xena and then noticed Draco’s threatening presence behind her. She turned to face him and defend the warrior princess with her staff as she pressed him back and away from Xena. Despite Gabrielle’s anger for Xena’s disrespect of Joxer she would not allow Draco to treat Xena with the same disrespect. The bard demanded that Draco leave her friend alone. It wasn’t enough for him to batter Xena’s emotions. The drove the bard mad with anger. Gabrielle declared Xena’s love for him openly for all in the village square to hear. There was silence for several moments as Gabrielle sensed a strange presence about the village. Lust was growing stronger as Draco’s fiery bloodthirsty eyes transformed into tenderness as he looked to Gabrielle. Maybe she had been able to get through to him. Xena had risen from the ground and affirmed that Gabrielle’s declaration of Xena’s love for Draco was indeed true.
Draco refused Xena’s love immediately explaining that the warrior princess was too late. Just when it appeared that Draco was about to go back into battle mode he declared that Xena could not keep him from what he truly wanted which was Gabrielle. The bard’s mind could only process that the moment was one of complete insanity. Draco the warlord who almost destroyed her home village on their first meeting was declaring his love for Gabrielle. It was unbelievable. Something was definitely in the air, but the mystery ran deeper now that Draco was suddenly infatuated with Gabrielle. His stare into her eyes was eerie and powerful. Xena expressed outloud what the bard was only thinking. Something strange was going on. Then Xena continued explaining that Draco could not possibly want Gabrielle’s affections. Even if it was an insult to the bard Gabrielle agreed that she did not want Draco’s passions for herself. Her heart began to pound with fear and uncertainty as love’s bliss was raging out of the realm of reality and control. Draco ignored Xena’s attempt to degrade her friend’s value as he stated that he knew exactly what he wanted now. Draco then barked out a command to his first in command Kragen and told him to round up the virgins for the warlord Penellous would be arriving soon to collect them in exchange for payment to Draco.
Then he smiled and reached out grabbing Gabrielle’s arm demanding that she go with him. Gabrielle knew for a certainty that she could never love and spend her life with a warlord like Draco. She smacked him away violently with her staff declaring that she would never go with him. Xena took the advantage that Gabrielle’s rejection of Draco had created to make a mad dash for the virgins on the loose. She attacked Draco’s army as Gabrielle struggled to get away from the creepy warlord who would not leave her alone. Each time he would get close enough Gabrielle would strike him with her staff. She warned him not to touch her as she battled him defending. Gabrielle was prepared to do whatever it took to keep herself away from him even if she had to feed him to the gorgon monsters herself. He was only enticed more by these threats as he referred to her as a sptifire. Gabrielle responded by smacking Draco across his face and nose determined to tear him apart to save herself from the unquenchable lust. He rose from defeat yet again to reaffirm Gabrielle’s passionate vengence against his lust for her.
Then Gabrielle saw her love. Joxer the Mighty appraoched Draco from behind tapping him on the shoulder into distraction. Joxer the Mighty then delivered a thunderous punch straight into Draco’s nose. The sound echoed through the village like thunder. Gabrielle cheered for him with delight for he had saved her from Draco’s advances. Just then Draco drew out a knife and as he prepared to stab Joxer the Mighty one of Draco’s men flew across the village knocking Draco into the ground. Gabrielle suddenly noticed that her love was hurt. She quickly came to his aid as he expressed his pain stating with the cutest little whimper that the big bad warlord had injured him. Suddenly the warrior princess barked out a command to all to head for the temple. Gabrielle shouted out to all that they must be swift and hurry inside. The bard led the way opening the doors of the temple alongside Joxer the Mighty as everyone filed into the temple. The virgins were panicked with excitement and the thrill of being in fear of lust. Gabrielle then instructed them all to hide in the back of the temple. She looked outside the temple to see if Xena was close. The warrior princess was rounding up the last of the virgins. One of them cried out that she had dropped her prayer scroll. The warrior princess assured her that they would retrieve it after the danger had passed. As the battling bard watched the last of the virgins enter the temple with Xena she ran over to shut the door and secure it for their defense.
Just when it seemed that things were calm and safe again Xena asked Gabrielle where Joxer was. Gabrielle could not believe that she had lost track of him. His voice could be heard crying outside the safety of the temple doors. He could be heard begged Draco to let him go and to put him down. Both Xena and Gabrielle ran to the temple windows to catch a glimpse of Joxer’s fate. He was tied to the back of Kragen’s horse as he begged and pleaded for Xena’s help. The battling bard wasted no time in acting. She was out the temple doors instantly to rescue her pookie. Draco then declared that if she wanted to see her friend that she knew where he could be found. It was an invitation to his camp. He had the advantage and snatched up Gabrielle alongside him as he rode out of the village back to camp. Gabrielle called out to Xena. Being the lust of Draco’s life was more dangerous that even Callisto.
Upon returning to Draco’s camp he held Gabrielle hostage in his tent and promised her that his physical jewels would not disappoint. Gabrielle warned him about touching her again as she rammed her head into his abdomen only to be nearly knocked unconscious. He laughed gleefully and reminded her that he was indeed solid as rock. Gabrielle spoke of his stubborn head comparing it to his painfully rock solid abs as she rubbed her own throbbing head. He asked her what she had mumbled. She was afraid that offending him would only empower him more. She tried to twist the words explaining that she had said that she had agreed with him and what he had said. Although it seemed that she had slipped one past him his reaction suggested otherwise. He only responded by saying that if she kept agreeing with him then their relationship would be fine. Draco was uncomfortably close now as he reached out and grabbed the bard’s chip. She sensed a bit of physically forceful threat within Draco’s body language. Then she sensed his lust building. It was the same feeling she had felt eminating from within herself when she was with Joxer earlier. As he moved into the bard to quench his lustful thirst she quickly pushed him away noticing a bowl of cherries sitting upon the bedtable. Gabrielle moved in for the cherries and began eating them attempting to avert Draco’s intense lust for her. The bard declared her love for cherries as she continued to stuff them into her mouth so that he could not kiss her. He only knelt down to her eye level and agreed that cherries were something that they could love together. The waves of lust were hitting her violently through Draco’s eyes. Gabrielle was extremely unsettled now as Draco reached for her shoulder and began to caress it gently with his hand.
She hoped that mentioning that she was not a virgin for she was now a widow would discourage his intensity for her, but he only appeared to be slightly interested in this fact. Instead Draco just laughed as he jumped upon the bed next to Gabrielle and stated that it was lucky for he would not have to kill the bard’s husband since he was already dead. The bard’s heart jumped from within her chest as if it had been slightly cut out with a sharp daggar. She had been disgusted before with Draco, but now he was infinately unattractive to her. As he laughed with an idiotic evil laughter Gabrielle took rage upon him knocking him back with her elbow in the face. Then she jumped up to face him preparing her next angry statement. She decided that the best way to fight disrespect was not with more of it, but with compassion despite it being for a warlord. She opened by stating that she had not wanted to hurt Draco’s feelings, but the reason she could not love him was because she was in love with someone else. The bard hoped that this knowledge would deter his lust and he would get the point. Being in love with someone who doesn’t love you is only setting oneself up for inevitable disappointment.
This statement most certainly retrieved Draco’s serious attention as he inquired the bard of her love. For the first time Draco appeared to be softly concerned for Gabrielle’s feelings, but as he approached she sensed his evil intensions. She knew that if she told him that she was in love with Joxer the Mighty that Draco would instantly go after Joxer and kill him. Unfortunately Gabrielle’s nerves were running so high that she expressed her thought outloud before Draco unwillingly. Draco’s argument that he would not hurt Joxer had somehow tricked Gabrielle into thinking outloud. He had defeated her with the battle of wits. The warlord was indeed a sharp minded man, but not at all someone to be falling head over heels for like Xena had done.