The Xena Scrolls
By:  Gabrielle Bard of Potedia
Scroll#17:  Royal Couple of Thieves

April, 48 B.C.

Finding truth in others can be a difficult task, but finding truth in oneself can be an even greater journey.  Xena and Gabrielle had been called upon by some old friends of Xena’s.  They were a group of humble people who lived by their own codes and truths.  One of their most sacred possessions had been stolen by a warlord whose name was Malthus.  This sacred possession was a beautiful golden chest decorated with elaborate jewels.  Yet it wasn’t the lavish gold or valuable jewels that held the most value with this chest.  It was what was inside that Xena’s friends valued most.
The chest had been stolen for its known power for it had killed those who had fear within.  Most did not understand its power and were unprepared to handle it.  Yet Malthus had stolen the chest to gain access to its power in the hopes of using it against his enemies.  Despite his efforts to obtain this magnificent weapon he had in the end decided that he wanted to sell it for a profit.  He had discovered its secrets and was going to cash in on them.  The price for a chest as magnificent as the sacred chest was much more than could be afforded by even the most wealthy of warlords.  Only a chosen few were invited to come and witness the power of the chest and to bid upon it for their own keeping.
Xena and Gabrielle of course did not have that kind of wealth and neither had been invited to such an extravagant affair though in another time Xena would have been the first to bid.  This time Lena needed some help from a very unlikely source.  She and Gabrielle had heard from Hercules that there was a man named Autolycus who was known as the best of the best when it came to the craft of thievery.  Xena could not go against all of the most powerful warlords alone and expect to defeat them and obtain the chest.  She needed to steal the chest with a skilled thief and Autolycus was the man who could do it.  The only problem was that neither had ever met and Autolycus was a difficult man to catch.  Yet Xena had a plan that was certain to capture his attention.
It all began with her friends as they delivered word across the land that there was a valuable stone that would be displayed at a sacred ceremony within a secluded village in the valley.  Xena, Gabrielle, and all of their friends dressed for the special occasion and awaited the arrival of their special guest of honor.  As they marched through the village square with the priceless stone displayed high in the sky the king of thieves made his dramatic entrance.  He was concealed in a black robe to make certain that his identity would go unknown.  The sly thief swooped down upon his target and stealthfully stole the precious stone from its place upon the top of the ceremonial staff.  He then swooped out of sight and disappeared into the daylight.
Yet just when Autolycus thought that he had successfully completed another heist he found himself confronted by the warrior princess.  His ego was priceless as he admired his reflection in a barrel of water.  The joy of the heist was short-lived for Xena suddenly dipped his head into the water to grab his attention.  She did it for her own amusement and to his great surprise.  He instantly recognized her as being the warrior princess and declared that it would not be an easy task for her to capture the king of thieves.  The thief then dashed in the opposite direction of his pursuit confident that he would get away.  Though he may have been the king of theft he was certainly no match for the skill of the warrior princess.  As he ran up some stairs expecting to disappear into a building Xena ripped the carpet right out from under him.  He fell to the bottom where his new friends awaited his arrival.
Autolycus was certain that they had come to take his stone from him that he had rightfully stolen.  Gabrielle then told of the truth of the stone and how it was no more valuable than a lump of sugar.  The king of thieves had been caught within his own game for they came to steal his services and not his stones.  Autolycus was suddenly interested for he had never been asked to join as a partner in heist.  Xena and Gabrielle then took him to the nearby tavern to discuss the terms of conditions of what they were looking for.  Gabrielle watched her friend attentively as Xena interviewed their prospective thief.  He was interested in the deal until it was revealed that he would be stealing from Malthus.  Suddenly all bets were off and Autolycus refused to be a part of this challenge.
Xena and Gabrielle found themselves confused as Autolycus requested from the warrior princess a drink for his thirst.  When Xena turned away to pour the goblet of water Autolycus took his bound hands from underneath the cloth which covered them.  Though his hands had been tied together and bound by a knife through the table he still managed to grab another goblet of water and drink from it before the warrior princess had finished pouring a second.  Gabrielle found herself intrigued by his talent and skill, but thought better of asking how he had done it.  Instead she allowed Xena to continue with the interview as Autolycus explained his reasons for choosing not to steal from Malthus.  He had stolen from the warlord before and had nearly paid with his life.  Fortunately the two had come to an agreement in which Autolycus vowed never to steal from Malthus again.
Then with pride and a spiteful comment Autolycus rose from his binds.  He showed the warrior princess his great skill in escaping and then bade her farewell.  Autolycus turned to leave Xena behind, but instead found himself outdone yet again when he fell onto the floor ankles still bound.  He was nothing more than a show off, but it was kind of cute.  Then Gabrielle and Xena knew just how to play his game.  His ego was his weakness and his certainty of being the best of the best.  The two friends discussed other options of thieves who might be better suited for a heist such as this.  Autolycus then rose from his embarrassing demise and agreed to the deal as long as payment was involved.
And so the three met with Xena’s old friends and discussed payment.  Autolycus was still not completely certain that he wanted to be a part of this dangerous challenge.  When he asked of the terms of payment he was told that he would receive two thousand dinars to start and another two thousand dinars when his job was finished.  It was clear that he was disappointed for most of the money would have to be spent in dressing for the part of the wealthy warlord Centaries.  After receiving the first half of payment Xena, Gabrielle, and Autolycus went to the market auction to shop for the proper attire for a royal couple of thieves.  Xena explained the details to Autolycus of his mission and of who Centaries actually was.  Gabrielle had heard many stories about Lord Centaries.  They were quite unpleasant for Centaries was known to have killed men with weapons as meager as a simple toothpick.  Centaries was also known to be a great philosopher which was something that Autolycus would have to stretch for.
It was clear that Autolycus was beginning to play the part of the rich Lord Centaries as he had decided that Xena too needed a costume to wear.  He chose something a bit seductive and definitely not within Xena’s taste or humor.  Gabrielle found this thief interesting for his heart seemed warm and personality sparkling yet he wore rings he had stolen from royal queens.  What a strange man he was with a most interesting and secretive history only known to the few who knew him best.
Soon Xena and Autolycus were off to steal back the sacred chest.  They arrived upon Malthus’s ship as night fell and Autolycus began to play the part.  Xena made certain that everyone on the ship was aware that they were in the presence of Lord Centaries.  Word spread quickly of his identity and many of the men upon the ship shook with fear hoping not to anger or cross paths with this dangerous known killer.  Xena was in control for only a short time before Lord Centaries had decided that she would play the part of his faithful concubine.  The warrior princess was not pleased with this change in role, but she had no choice for Lord Centaries made certain that all aboard the ship knew of his lovely Cherish.  And of course he sent her below decks to change into something that was more suitable for her to wear.
Though Lord Centaries was proud and mighty his ego was more trouble that it was worth for him.  As he bragged of his great skill in killing men with apricots, muffins, buttons, and toothpicks he found himself confronted with the brother of Neolose.  Paryis inquired the Lord of the method used to kill Neolose.  Lord Centaries bragged unaware of what he was saying.  He told of how he could not remember killing Neolose for he had killed so many, but he was certain that Neolose had died a long and painful death.  Enraged Paryis threatened Centaries informing him of his linage to Neolose.  Centaries then found his way out of that challenge by referring to a second Neolose of no relation.
Soon the lovely Cherish returned to her master lord, but their reunion was short for Paryis had plans of his own.  He had decided that he would be the one to challenge the one who claimed to be Centaries.  Lord Centaries and Cherish were thrown overboard unexpectedly, but Cherish saved them from certain death by capturing the side of the boat with her hidden weapons.  Upon his return to the deck of the ship Centaries expressed his displeasure with the inconvenience bestowed upon him.  He prepared to prove that indeed he was the killer Lord Centaries.  Centaries pulled out his most infamous weapon.  He played the game pretending to walk away without harming his new rival.  Yet violence was present aboard the ship that night for Paryis drew his dagger and prepared to stab Lord Centaries from behind.  Centaries and Cherish masters of their trade orchestrated a most amazing effect.  Cherish had attached her weapon upon the belt of their enemy and prepared for Lord Centaries to do the rest.
He turned swiftly to face his foe and delivered the wrath of the toothpick which struck down his enemy instantly.  For Paryis luck had been friendly for Centaries had only knocked him unconscious rather than deliver a fatal strike.  Then Lord Centaries led the crowd of guests which he had so masterfully been entertaining and suggested that all go down below and enjoy a feast to satisfy their hunger.  Despite his forgetting about Cherish she soon reminded him of her presence upon entering dinner still drenched from her fall into the sea.  It was obvious to Centaries that he had made a grave mistake which could have easily resulted in his death.
Of course Centaries tried to make up for his mistake and to save his face in front of all of his admirers.  Cherish was full of fire and of passion and she made it known that Centaries was the lord, but she was in control.  The struggle for respect and admiration continued between the two through dinner as Cherish made sure that Centaries choked on a few grapes and entertained the rest of the crowd with kindness.  After dinner the guests were  shown to their quarters.  Then they were to wait until Malthus had come for them for the first presentation of his magnificent weapon.  With one bed and two royal guests Centaries was certain that he and Cherish would share, but Cherish was not at all interested in his advances.  She was there strictly for business reasons and to help friends dear to her.
Soon it was time to be shown where the chest was hidden.  Malthus was confident as he presented it to his audience.  He warned that there was no possible way to steel the chest for it was guarded by the most sophisticated security system known to man.  There were invisible threads made of human hair and spider silk, and a counter balance.  If either of the systems were set off four large bells would sound and alert a theft in progress.  Malthus explained that the reason he was selling the chest was because he had discovered its secrets and had no need to fear it any longer.  He was secure in knowing that no one would be able to steel his treasure for he was the only man holding the key to the doors to the chambers that it was kept in.  Then Malthus welcomed everyone and offered his complements of food, drink, and luxuries.
It was now time for Lord Centaries to do his work.  He went into action suggesting a gift to Malthus of the dance of the three veils.  There was a complication for Cherish only had two veils yet she performed despite the pressure.  Her dance was seductive and enticing to all who witnessed it.  Malthus found himself enthralled and impressed by her mystic aura.  Cherish even made her feminine power known by using her famous pinch move to tame one of the wild beasts to his most pleasurable death.  And while Cherish entertained Lord Centaries investigated the elaborate system which protected the chest he was planning to steal.  He then made his way across to where Malthus stood entranced by Cherish’s dance.  Lord Centaries was sly as he took the burned wax from a candle and used it to capture one of the keys from Malthus’s belt.  Malthus never suspected this move as Centaries offered Cherish as part of his bid on the chest.  Malthus was impressed and thought very seriously of this offer as the dance of the three veils came to a close.  Centaries demanded more from his loyal concubine, but she was not in the mood.  She flatly refused his command smashing a piece of pie into his face and smearing it for good measure.  Then Cherish was dismissed from her Lord’s command as she turned away and exited with disgust at Lord Centaries’s abuse.
Later that night as all of the ship guests slept Lord Centaries and Cherish entered into the room which held the chest.  They were prepared to carry out their plans and escape without a sound with the treasure.  But when they arrived into the room they witnessed a terrible tragedy.  There lying where the chest had once been was the body of its owner Malthus.  Someone had murdered him in cold blood using what appeared to be nothing more than a toothpick.  When Cherish examined the body more closely it was obvious that Malthus had been stabbed to death.  The toothpick was a set up for Lord Centaries.  It was unclear as to who would have the motive for most who were guests upon the ship had reason to want to get rid of Lord Centaries.
Despite what had been told to Centaries at dinner he did not heed the warning of invisible threads.  He did not believe that there could be such a man-made device.  His miscalculation of Malthus’s truthful words lead to another of his mistakes.  First he had made the mistake of being too large and noticeable amongst his peers, and second he carelessly put his hand through the invisible threads which set off the four bells above.  Cherish and Centaries then dashed out of the room and down the hall into their bed chambers hoping to escape accusation for they had not yet committed their heist.  Upon entering into their bed chambers they discovered inside upon their bed the missing chest.  Xena investigated the chest and read the words inscribed upon the lid.  They read.  Face the truth do not fear it for fearing it will result in your own death.  It was a set up and though it seemed a blessing there was a sudden knock at the door.  Quickly they hid the chest beneath their bodies playing the part of a passionate love affair as the guard entered into their chambers.
Cherish warned the guard of his interruption for Centaries was not known to appreciate unexpected intrusions.  Lord Centaries jumped up from the bed and threatened the guard commanding Cherish to find him some toothpicks.  The guard then fled for fear of his life and went on to the next unsuspecting guest.  Once things had calmed down and the guard had left Lord Centaries and Cherish returned to the scene of the crime to return the chest to its proper place.  The task would be difficult for they had to be able to accomplish it without disturbing the alarms.  As they prepared the chest to be lowered into place Lord Centaries the king of thieves asked Cherish the warrior princess how she had heard of him and his work.  She spoke of Hercules and how he had said that indeed Autolycus was the best.  Autolycus was flattered by this and expressed how much admiration he had for Hercules despite being at odds when it came to business.  Xena agreed that she too thought very much of the legendary hero.  And then Autolycus asked a personal question.  He wanted to know if Xena had ever been romantically involved with the legendary hero.  She was embarrassed that he would ask her such a personal question.  Xena avoided the answer when she suggested that they press forward with their work.
Then Cherish flipped upon the balcony above where the chest was to be placed.  She wrapped the rope through the rafters and lowered it back down to Autolycus who began to pull the chest up from the ground and to place it back into its shelf.  Halfway through the task there was the sound of voices coming down the hallway.  Cherish quickly flipped into action leaving Lord Centaries to finish the job while she took care of those who were about to enter the room.  It was Arquette that she ran into.  He was Malthus’s first in command.  Arquette was highly suspicious of her presence in the room until Cherish explained how enthralled she was by the thought of a bloody murder scene.  She seduced him with her beauty as they shared in a passionate kiss.  As Lord Centaries hung from just one leg upside down Cherish freed him with her chackram.  Centaries quickly rushed to his feet as Cherish occupied Arquette’s attention allowing him time to escape detection.
Arquette suddenly expressed his concern for having taken the chastity of one who belonged to Centaries.  Cherish assured him that her lord was sleeping soundly and would never know of their encounter.  Arquette then continued to pursue the beautiful Cherish, but just when things began to get too hot Lord Centaries suddenly found himself intervening.  He demanded to know what was going on between Cherish and Arquette.  Cherish played the part of the innocent stating that the two had been merely talking and nothing more.  Lord Centaries continued on with the jealous master and stole back his prize from Malthus’s officer.
In the early morning hours all of the guests were called down for an emergency meeting regarding the chest.  It had been called by Malthus’s officer Arquette who was seeking to find the murderer and the chest.  Upon entering into the meeting it was obvious that all who were there suspected Lord Centaries as the murderer.  Lord Centaries played himself lower key as Cherish played the horrified lady.  Arquette declared that the demonstration of the weapon would still commence in the morning at sunrise, but not before the murderer was caught and confessed.  It was obvious of what the punishment would be.
Upon returning to their bed chambers Autolycus declared that this game of wits was over for him.  He refused to put his life in further risk knowing the consequences and the stakes.  Xena found herself disappointed that he would leave after all that they had accomplished as a team.  She explained that she could not leave when her friends were depending on her success in the return of their chest.  Autolycus was not phased and was still packing for his swift exit.  He advised Xena to find less demanding friends, but then she told a story which touched his heart.  She told of how these friends had once found her wounded and treated her without a second thought or without question.  Xena felt she owed them a favor for their kindness and love.  It was her last chance to reach his heart and she had succeeded for he expressed his own story of sadness and appreciation.
Of course it began with an insult of his father whom Xena had assumed taught him the ways of the thief.  But that was not the true story of the king of thieves.  His story had begun with the loss of his mother at birth and the loss of his father at only the age of eight.  He was left only with his older brother and the two had to survive any way that they could.  His brother had taken care of him and watched over him in their parents absence.  This was how Autolycus could relate to Xena’s story of her friends.  And so he had decided to stay despite the risk and the danger.  The next morning as they awoke the two prepared to play their roles as Lord Centaries, and Cherish just one last time.  As they dressed for the presentation Autolycus expressed his disappointment in Hercules for not stealing Xena’s heart when he had the chance.  The king of thieves expressed how he could only dream of having a woman like Xena in his life.  Xena accepted the complement though Autolycus would never know the real story that transpired between herself and the legendary hero.  It was more than he needed to know.
Upon their arrival at the presentation all were present as Arquette prepared to present the weapon.  He expressed that there would be a demonstration upon the innocent fisherman nearby to show the power of the chest.  Yet he said that there would be another presentation prior for there had been an unfortunate young lady that had crossed paths with the one known as the real Lord Centaries.  Suddenly a helpless Gabrielle was revealed from beneath the blanket which had concealed her identity.  Xena suddenly left her character and became the warrior princess once again.  Autolycus was proven to be a fraud and suddenly realized his grave situation.  As Xena lunged forward to rescue her friend the real Lord Centaries threatened to take the life of Gabrielle.
First he put his two fingers at her temples and delivered the most agonizing pain.  Gabrielle’s head pounded from ear to ear like the feeling of centaur hooves pounding from within.  It was almost unbearable as her fear rose within.  Arquette demanded that the frauds be used as examples at the demonstration of his weapon.  And though all of the attention and accusations were flying toward the king of thieves and the warrior princess Xena revealed that it was someone else who had actually killed Malthus and stolen the chest.  The killer had been Paryus.  He had wanted revenge on Lord Centaries for killing his brother Neolose.  And now that he had been exposed by the warrior princess Lord Centaries approached his new enemy.
Paryus was filled with fear and with rage for he had now seen the power of Lord Centaries demonstrated upon Gabrielle.  Paryus raised his weapon and cried out in vengeance as Lord Centaries paralyzed Paryus’s arm.  Paryus felt the immense unbearable pain as his arm throbbed, and then Lord Centaries went for the knees.  Centaries laughed for his victim would certainly meet his death as Centaries put the final blow through the eyes of his helpless victim.  Paryus was destroyed and death had taken him painfully.  Pleased with his work Lord Centaries then gave the command for Gabrielle to be killed by a dagger.  ‘
Gabrielle prepared for her death as she was picked up off of the ground still suffering the pain within her brain.  And then Xena pulled out her mighty chackram and sent it to rescue her friend from death once again.  The chackram stole the dagger from the enemy swiftly as it returned to Xena’s hand with obedience.  Then Xena fought off some of Arquette’s men as Autolycus prepared the three for escape.  He quickly came to rescue Gabrielle and picked her up off of the ground.  The three ran for their lives off into the woods narrowly escaping their demise.
When they finally stopped Xena released her friend from Centaries wrath taking her pressure to the back of the neck.  Gabrielle was still in terrible pain and agony as her headache did not cease.  Xena spoke of how lucky her friend had been that Centaries had not taken her life sooner.  Gabrielle apologized for putting herself in danger again, but explained that she had heard of Centaries return.  The bard had tried to save Xena’s plan and Xena’s life knowing that Centaries would return before their mission was complete.  Xena did not scold her friend this time for her mistake.  She only told her to be more careful and instructed Gabrielle to follow the enemy and mark a path in the direction that they went for Xena to follow later.
Gabrielle was delighted to be asked to help Xena and she was certain not to fail her this time.  As she left the royal couple alone together again Autolycus could hardly believe that the warrior princess could live in danger everyday of her life.  Xena confirmed that indeed it was the life of the warrior.  Autolycus found himself satisfied with his own career choice.  Yet he was in too deep to quit at this point in the game.  He returned to the dock with Xena to defeat the guards left behind by Centaries, and Arquette.  The two battled against them and Autolycus had decided that he would take them on alone for Xena was losing time in reaching the chest.  Xena had faith that Autolycus could fight with the skill and bravery of a true warrior despite being a thief.  He had shown her the truth within his heart and that was all that she needed to know.
As Gabrielle followed the group toward a cave deep in the woods she found herself facing the wrath of Centaries yet again.  He had discovered that she had been following them and evil smile spread across his face.  Gabrielle once again faced certain death once in the hands of the killer Centaries.  Upon arriving within the cave there were several innocent that had been unfortunate to cross paths with Lord Centaries and Arquette.  The two prepared the chest for its demonstration as Xena the warrior princess caught up to their wrath.  Lord Centaries was seemingly pleased that she had joined them for the two had some unfinished business.
They prepared to duel without weapons.  Their battle was with only pressure points, but just as dangerous as a sword.  Xena smiled as she made the first move upon the cunning Lord Centaries.  She hit him in the shoulder as his face reflected his suffering.  Yet he was able to release himself from the pain as he reentered the duel with confidence.  It was Centaries who got the next shot in reflecting Xena’s own move.  Xena released herself from the grasp of the master himself.  Then Xena went for his neck as Lord Centaries felt the blow.  He struggled to twist his neck back into comfort, but succeeded to strike the next blow.
As Lord Centaries prepared his attack he straightened his hat with pride and then struck the warrior princess in the leg sending her helplessly to the ground.  It was the same move that he had used upon Pyrus that had led to a horrific death.  but it would not be Centaries who would get the last word.  This time it was the warrior princess who made her move upon Lord Centaries as he lunged forward to deliver her to the hands of death.  Xena took Lord Centaries down with just one strike to his chest which stopped the heart of evil in an instant.  Yet the battle was not over for Arquette then commanded his warriors to attack.  Just as Xena was about to do battle alone her partner in crime returned to help her take down the enemy.
Even the bard found herself taking part in this battle for she had been the victim too many times before.  This time she would be part of the solution and not the problem.  Xena fought without weapons delivering powerful punches and thunderous kicks to those who dared to defy her.  Autolycus followed with impressive skills of his own as Gabrielle fought using the only weapon she had learned.  She fought with the wrath of the staff.  The three defeated Arquette’s men and all of the other warlords who had come for the power of the chest.  Yet Arquette had decided that he would use the power of the chest to defeat his rivals.  Xena warned him of opening the chest, but Arquette did not heed her warning.  He slowly opened the wrath of what had been awaiting us all inside.
A bright ball of light emerged from within and floated in mystery as power built within it.  It threatened all who witnessed it and Xena could sense that her friends were gripped with the fear of uncertainty.  She calmly gave the instructions that the chest had given upon the lid telling them not to fear the truth, but to face it.  She told them not to run, but Arquette could not face his own truth.  His fears overtook him for its power was so great.  He tried desperately to run from the ball of light before him.  It was his mortal mistake for the ball of light suddenly turned into a weapon of destruction.  And then Arquette was no more than a memory as smoke rose from the place in which he had once stood fearful.
And so the battle was over as the three friends retrieved the chest yet they were curious as to what was inside.  They wanted to know what had been so valuable to Xena’s friends that had sent them on this dangerous journey.  And inside they found a tablet with ten commandments inscribed.  The second one read that thou shalt not steal.  Autolycus then laughed disappointed that there was not more to see.  But though this tablet had little value to those who had retrieved it the owners were grateful for the sacrifices made for its return.  They paid the king of thieves the two thousand dinars agreed upon and then left with gratitude and a simple thank you.
The king of thieves then expressed once again his appreciation for being a part of a duo with Xena.  He had enjoyed being one of the royal couple of thieves.  Now it was time to go their separate ways once more although Autolycus awaited his payment of a tender kiss from the warrior princess.  Xena did not oblige, but instead gave a simple handshake.  Autolycus them took her hand and gently placed his lips upon it.  Then the king of thieves turned and went on his way.  As Gabrielle watched him travel down the road she spoke of how she had liked him despite his flaw of thievery, but Xena then showed her the truth of their new friend.  Gabrielle gazed beyond his path and saw what Xena had seen all along.  The bard saw the two thousand dinars had been returned to those whom had asked a favor of the king of thieves.
Gabrielle found herself feeling a bit guilty for judging him in that way.  Not only that she had stolen one of the rings that he had taken from a princess.  Xena scolded her friend for what the tablet had said about stealing.  Gabrielle then promised that she would return the ring when she found the its true owner.  And so we must never fear the truth, but face it with courage.