Laying in the dirt.....
So much for beauty products.....
Unfortunately, Bath and Body works does not make a "Deployment Collection" that is void of smell... that very smell attracts the nasty bugs that like to bite you and Mosquitoes that want to try your Tooty Fruity Watermelon scented lotion and spray. No coca butter either.
A Sergeant I know got bitten by a mosquito and she developed a severe illness and ended up leaving Kuwait. She was sent back to Germany.
The second time I went to sick call it was from being sick with nasty infection in my lungs. An antibiotic given.....
Yet, the mission does not stop because your lungs are infected. You, "suck it up and drive on" because the MISSION is more important than your ailment.
My daughter's got a common head-cold. My oldest daughter had strep.... I was doing fine but when I woke this morning, I was coughing.. bright yellow junk came from my lungs. Not a good sign.....
I am not sure that I understand any of this.
I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy.
My husband Shawn has been a very good Soldier threw all of this.
When the shortness of breathe got worse, small tasks like sweeping made me so fatigued; Shawn stepped up to the plate....
He started cooking when he came home from work....
He works 3rd shift and sleeps during the day.
He bought me a very very light weight vacuum that barely weighs a pound so I could clean the floor.
He mops for me.... I can't make myself do it anymore. He cleans the shower, washes dishes... does laundry... goes and buys that groceries... takes the girls to the mall... walking long distances is not feasible.
Trying to take care of myself requires help....
Shawn has been shaving my legs for sometime now...
When my legs go numb he is the one who picks me up till I can regain feeling.... when I can't get up... and have to crawl off the toilet he helps me get to my feet....the pain is severe...
Life is limited... the things many people take for granted are not so easy for me....
When I do shop it's online, maybe I will go pick it up, or maybe it will be delivered. THANKFUL for delivery service...
Life sometimes is extremely difficult...
When Samantha wants to go to the park I take Abbey or Shelly to help run after Samantha and play with her.... Shawn takes her a lot....
Yes, this is our second day..... that has spread to 3rd day, 4th day, 5th day...... on and on it goes.....
This is how we live.
I am working extremely hard to not blame anyone.....
To make the system as a whole better...
I can't judge the VA intentions on why Shawn can't have a caregiver program to help....
I don't understand...
My processing of this stems more so like a punishment that I can't shake.... it's so hard....
Shawn one day you will read this... know that if I knew this was going to happen I wouldn't have married you.... not because I didn't love you but to spare you suffering and our girls...
I am grateful to you....
I love you so much.....
Christina
