I haven't been posting much, that's mostly cause I don't know what to write about and life being in the dumps and just many other things. 

So in my English class we are writing poems and it's like how school normally is really boring but mandatory. Except this one poem I wrote. I don't feeling like sharing it because I feel like it exposes to much of my personal life. but to summarize it, the poem was about my life how it changed so massively after what happened to my parents, and after reading it opened my eyes. 

The first thing I realized is how much I live in the past, I don't live in the moment, my fears get the better of me in almost every situation. For me it seems when I go full in on something I make mistakes which that bugs me because in my mind I feel like I have to be perfect. Here's the thing no one is perfect and no one ever will be perfect so why strive for something we can never get. For me the funny thing is how perfectly imperfect we are as humans, that's the best thing we do is fuck shit up, sorry for the foul language but in my mind it describes what we as humans do best. I think the point I'm trying to get at is we mess up so much but that's not the important part, the important part is all the memories, friends, lovers and things we do/meet in our life. 

This past weekend I had my prom at my school, it was a really fun time and the only reason I say this because I let go, I told my conscious mind to shut the hell up and let the subconscious part of me do what it would naturally do. Believe it or not I had the most fun and wonderful time of my life and for the simplest reason I told myself fuck it I'm going to do what just comes to me and that's a the things is sometimes we have to just jump right into a situation, now this isn't saying to just throw your life away for no reason, but to make some plans and eventually just do whatever your thinking about. 

Well this about wraps up my motivational speech for the day. I mostly just wanted to write about how I really haven't been treating myself the best and that fear just gets the better of people and that we need to stop letting fear dictate and control what we do in life. 

I hope y'all have a wonderful day