Red took in a deep breath. Frigid morning air burned his tired lungs and stung his tear streaked face. The adrenaline that had been coursing through him as he stood on the railing was beginning to recede and now he just felt tired. The fog that had rolled in off of the mighty river did not help. Red thought to himself that at least no one would notice him walking away from the bridge. Thank God for small graces. With the last of his strength he began to retrace his steps through the city. Dreading what awaited him when he returned to the apartment that he had once called home. Now that place seemed like a tomb and he was determined to bury his old self there and start fresh.

The mist engulfed the familiar cityscape making the walk back seem like a journey into some alien world. A strange feeling crept into the crevices of Red’s mind. He would need to face up to the aftermath of the night before, he knew that. But the knowledge of what he had to do did not help assuage the tightening in his chest.

“I’m so fucked.” He said under his breath. 

Images of burley officers and police cruisers, with their flashing red and blue lights, waiting for him at the apartment flashed in front of his eyes. He knew that Blue had called the police after he had left. That was what they had been trained to do in college. Suddenly Red found himself remembering the conflict resolution classes he had taken. Or rather that Blue had taken and given him the notes for since he was often too hungover to attend.

How had they gotten to this? How had things gotten so far off track from where they started? His reveries were interrupted when he rounded the last corner onto the block where the apartment complex was located. To Reds surprise there were no police waiting for him. The street was completely empty.

Every step closer to the apartment building twisted his stomach into another knot and Red had to force himself to unlock the door into the complex. The warmth of the building washed over him as he opened the door. He hadn’t realized how cold he was until he started climbing the stairs to the floor where his apartment was and the chill began to melt away.

When he reached the door to the apartment Red paused. His hands were shaking. This was going to be rough.

While he stood in the hallway he tried to rehearse what he wanted to say when he was face to face with Blue again. How sorry he was. How he knew he was wrong. That he was going to be better from now on.

Opening the door Red stepped over the threshold and into the kitchen. Blue was there waiting.

When he saw the hurt in her eyes and her tear streaked face every word of his prepared speech evaporated and the only words that escaped his lips were “I’m so sorry.”

Blue just stood in the middle of the kitchen and crossed her arms. Her face became unreadable again and she just watched him.

“I want to talk.” Red finally said when the silence in the room became unbearable.

“Then talk Red.” Blue responded. The emotionless mask she had put on after Red had returned to the apartment slipped just slightly. Her lips tightened and she looked like she was bracing herself against any argument Red could come up with.

“Blue, please don’t leave. If you go, what will we tell the children?” Red looked down the narrow hallway towards the room where his daughters were sleeping.

“I will come up with something Red.” Blue responded flatly.

“Blue, I am sorry. What can I do to prove that? What do I need to do for you to stay? I can change, and I’ll do anything.” Red was fighting to keep the tears at bay and his voice broke as he spoke.

Blue looked red in the eyes and spoke softly. “Red there is nothing you can do. My mother will be here shortly, and when she gets here the girls and I have to go. We can’t stay with you Red.”

The finality of those words struck Red deep in his chest. He looked around the small kitchen, searching desperately for anything that he could say to change her mind. The effort proved futile when his gaze fell back on the cold exterior projected by Blue at that moment. 

“Ok. I won’t try to stop you.” He said, resigned. “But can I ask you to do something? Please?”

Blue shifted slightly from one foot to the other before answering.”What is it?”

“Blue, we have been together for so long. We have been through so much. If the love really has died and your heart has frozen on us. Then it is what it is. I can accept that in time.” Red began. Trying to choose his words very carefully. “But, if there is anything there. Anything at all. Even the tiniest seed of affection. Please shelter it, and water it. I love you Blue. With everything I am and everything I can be. And I love the kids with my whole being.”

“I can do that Red.” Blue replied. relief seemed to wash over her face when he finished speaking and they stood silently, waiting for her mother to arrive.