We're living in tough times and it's going to get tougher before it gets better; Putin's war and nuclear talk, climate mayhem, prices going mental, the imminent collapse of society (maybe).

So here are some jokes.

What did the policeman say to the nipple? You're under a vest

A bottle of beer walks into a café. The waiter comes over and says 'we don't serve alcohol here'

I think weightlifting with severe constipation should be a para-olympics sport.

I always wondered why football teams never signed up any Siamese twins; they would be deadly in the penalty box.

I've been trying to think of a joke about clocks. I finally goy one. It's about bloody time.

I saw a big metal container full of junk outside a part-renovated house the other day. It had SKIP HIRE written on the side. So I did and pulled a muscle in my lower leg. Never take orders from containers