With reduction of tolerance to different opinions in our modern society, number of insults we are experiencing are rising. Insults cause negative emotions, which can lead to stresses, not feeling well, decline of immune defenses (which may lead to infections or illnesses).
Many people respond to insults from others with their own insults. This may lead to confrontations, intense arguments and even fists fightings. Is this a good response?
Let us consider several other options and compare them.
Option 2. Do not pay attention
If a statement (in the insult) is true then there is no a reason to feel bad. If the statement is false then an insulter is a liar. Why anyone should pay attention to a liar? Let us consider a situation when a dog is insulting you by barking. Do you pay attention to dog’s barking (insults)? If not then why you should pay attention to human’s insults in the form of false statements?
Option 3. Respond with a joke
If you respond with a joke you convert your and other people negative emotions into positive emotions. The insulter will be feeling not easy, because the result she/he expected was not realized and now people may think that she/he is not so smart as she/he wanted to appear. This may prevent future insults from the insulter, because she/he may be afraid to appear a looser again.
Historical example.
Cato was pleading a case when an adversary named Lentulus spit on his face. Cato calmly wiped off the spit and said, “I will swear to anyone, Lentulus, that people are wrong to say that you cannot use your mouth!” See [1, 3]
Option 4. Respond with an explanation
If you can not respond with a joke, but the statement (in the insult) is true then you may offer an explanation to prevent similar insults in the future.
Historical example
See [4] how Steve Jobs responded to an insult.
Option 5. Respond with a prayer
Many religions advice us to use a prayer as a response to insults.
Historical example
Jesus kept silent. And when on the cross people were accusing and taunting Him, jeering at Him and spitting upon Him, the Lord prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” ( Luke 23:34) See [2]
Conclusion:
A simple practical way to deal with insults is the following.
If an insult is an action or a true statement and the insult was made in a public setting then respond with a joke or explanation (options 3 or 4).
If the statement is true and the insult was made in a private setting then respond with an explanation (option 4).
If the statement is false then do not pay attention or respond with a joke (options 2 or 3).
If your belief requires other response then follow what you believe in.
References:
[1] A guide to the good life, William B. Irvine, Oxford University Press, 2009, p. 147
[3] https://lifehacker.com/the-best-way-to-respond-when-someone-insults-you-1849144070
[4] https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/20-years-ago-steve-jobs-demonstrated-the-perfect-w.html
