Mike awoke on the floor with a fierce pounding in his head, and a sense of being utterly and completely drained of all energy. “Ughhh” He groaned as he struggled to his feet, using the bedpost to hold himself upright. From there he shuffled over a few feet to flop himself down on the bed face first, then immediately rolled over onto his side and curled almost into a fetal position. As he lay there, gaining his strength and balance back a thought occurred to him. In fact, that thought hit him like a freight train and sent in into an anxiety attack.
“What the hell was that? What was I… watching? That man killed those two people and tried to kill a third, had I not… what, what did I do?” He tried to catch his breath and calm his racing heart. “Breath… breath… that had to be just a dream, must have been a dream. That fucking wax, that’s what it was! It had to be, just got me stupid stoned and must of gave me some fucked up dreams when I passed out. But it was so real, I could feel the wind, smell the air. I felt…”
He slowly got up and quickly, but awkwardly shuffles over to his bathroom and looks in the mirror. Nothing. He was so sure he felt blood from one of the men that was shot flick onto his face. But there was nothing on his face now, so it had to be just a dream he had from that wax, right?
“Last time I’m ever smoking that shit.” He said as he splashed cold water on his face. “I suppose I’m not going to be able to fall back asleep.” Mumbling as he turns on the shower and undressed. He takes a long shower, enjoying the warm water splashing across his face. After a good 20 minutes, he finally got out and started preparing for the day.
He did not have a lot going on, but he was supposed to meet that quack Dr. Mago today. “That ought’ to be fun” he told himself with a noticeable amount of sarcasm in his voice. Then headed upstairs to find something for breakfast.
Walking into the kitchen he saw his mother was up already and cooking eggs. “Hey honey, you want a couple eggs?” She asked when she saw him walk in. “Um… Yea I’ll take a couple eggs, thanks” He replied as he pulled a few slices of bread from the bread box and tossed them in the toaster.
“How was your night?” His mother asked.
“It was good, just played online with Brett and Jay most of this night.”
“Those are those friends you made on your game, right? Why don’t you hang out with some real people?”
“They are real people”
“That’s. . . not what I meant, I just meant you should try hanging out with some friends in person. You know, get some sort of social interaction. It might help you feel a little better.” She scooped some of the eggs she had cooked on a plate and hands it to Mike.
“I know, it’s just hard. I just get so anxious going out anywhere cause I never know when the next episode is coming.”
His toast popped up from the toaster and he grabbed both slices and tossed them on the plate, then lathered both pieces with a strong helping of butter. Sitting down across from his mother, he started shoveling his eggs and toast down.
“Do you have any appointments today?” His mother asked
“Yea, I have to go see that psychiatrist Dr. Mago at 1.00” Mike replied around a mouthful of egg and toast.
“Still having those strange dreams?”
Mike shoved the last of his eggs and toast in his mouth then answered his mom. “Yea, I had another one last night even stranger. I saw some guy, he had to of been a wizard or something. He cast this weird spell that created like a shield that surrounded him, then pulled out a revolver and shot two of the three people that were attacking him.”
“Why would a wizard use a revolver? That doesn’t make much sense, you have some strange dreams kiddo.”
“Yea that didn’t seem right to me either, I think I’m going to stop smoking weed for a while.”
His mother started laughing “Oh, now your done smoking that? Because of some funny dreams?”
Mike looked down, somewhat ashamed. “Well I mean it could help with the seizures too… maybe.”
“Oh honey, I’m just giving you crap. I’m with you no matter what. You going to be able to sleep alright without that? And what about your anxiety? I’ve seen how much that stuff can help you with that.”
“Yea, honestly, I have no idea how that all is going to work out. Just going to hope for the best I suppose. I think more than anything, I just feel like I’m running out of options. If I have to deal with worse anxiety and less sleep, but I have less seizures, seems like an alright trade off maybe.”
“We will find something, there’s plenty more specialists we have yet to see that could have some insight to what is going on inside your head.”
“Yea but each one cost more and more, I’m trying to find something I can do from home to earn a bit of cash to help. But I don’t want to bankrupt you and dad. You’re supposed to retire soon! Or were, before my problems started burning all your savings.”
“Mike, we will be fine. If we can’t use our savings to help our son, what good is saving it all?”
Mike did not reply, there wasn’t anything for him to say. He just set his dishes in the sink and washed his hands. “Thanks for breakfast momma.” Then heads back down to his room, flops on the bed and turned on his gaming console. He played games for a few hours until around 12:00, then he turned off the game and started getting ready for his appointment with the psychiatrist.
About 45 minutes later him and his mother are walking inside a small office building. They stop at the front desk to check in, and the receptionist kindly checked them in and pointed them to the elevator going to the second floor.
Mike and his mother walk into the elevator and pressed the ‘2’ button. A moment later the doors open, and they step out and walk down the corridor to Dr. Mago’s office. Stepping inside, Mike went to the receptionist and checks himself in then found a chair next to his mother in the waiting area.
About 15 minutes later a light skinned man pokes his head though one of the doorways heading into the back area. “Oh Mike, you’re here! Come, come! Let’s talk.” Mike smiled, then turned to his mother “Be back in about an hour.”
“Alright sweetie, I’ll be here.” She replied as she pulled a thick romance novel from her purse, opens it to where her book marker had been, and started reading.
Mike and Dr. Mago head through the doorway the Dr. had poked his head through. The office back here was decently sized and had huge windows along one wall with a gorgeous view of the city outside. Dr. Mago walked to the center of the room where a couch and chair sat with a small coffee table between the two.
Dr. Mago sat in the chair and gestured for Mike to take a seat on the couch. “How have things been going Mike?”
Sitting himself on the couch and squirming around a bit to get comfortable, Mike replies. “Things have been alright, unfortunately not much change since I last saw you, besides some weird dreams I’ve been having.”
“And what are those dreams about?”
Mike explained his first ‘dreams’ he was having when he went into a seizure, the ones where he went to a void, then starts going through the dream he had last night. Talking about the man he saw, and what he saw him do. How everything seemed so real, from the wind, to the smell of fresh air and the feeling of a stranger’s blood hitting your face.
“Hmm” Mago was writing a storm of words on his notepad “And do you remember, the moments between? Between the seizure starting and entering… your dream.” With the slightest pause before the words ‘your dream’ as if he were going to use another phrase and thought better of it.
“No, not really. Though when I came into that dream, I feel like I stepped out of a purple light or had the brightest purple aura around me that dissipated when I… stepped into the dream.”
Dr. Mago stopped writing and looked up “Purple? Was it like an aura, or clouds of purple light surrounding you?”
Mike thinks for a moment. “I thought aura for sure, but now that you’re asking if it was an aura or clouds. I think cloud fits what I saw in my dream much better.”
The Dr. put his notepad down and walked over to his shelves of many books, quickly glancing over titles. Until finally he found an old leather bound book. Opening it up and flipping through the pages until he found the page he wanted. “Is this what that looked like?” he asked as he flipped the book over so Mike could see the picture he was pointing to.
Mike could not answer at first, he was too awestruck. The picture the Dr. was showing him was a man, stepping out from a giant purple cloud. Behind the man was only those purple clouds but in front of the man was a large city, but all the buildings seemed to have very strange architecture, nothing he has ever seen. And then the most obvious sign that the picture was not depicting his world, was there were two suns in the sky over the city.
“I’m going to guess from your silence and expression, that this depicts your dream pretty well.”
Finally, Mike found his voice “Yea, though I’ve never seen buildings like that or ever seen two suns in the sky. What is that?”
“Yes, that because there are no such buildings like here, anywhere on earth. And obviously we only have the one sun here.” Mago replies as he slams the book shut. He places it back on the shelf and turns to Mike. “
“What book is that? Mike asked as Dr. Mago found his way back to the chair and sat down.
“Ah, just an old book I have. From time to time, it has been helpful with helping some of my… patients find the words to describe things they see.” He scribbled a few things down on his notepad then looked up at Mike. “
“What are you feeling during these dreams? Do you have any thoughts or specific feelings that come up when your… traveling through the clouds, or how about when you arrive?” Mago asked then looked back down to his notepad, ready to record Mike’s answers.
Mike was silent for a moment as he thought back to his last dream and the revolver wielding wizard…. No, not wizard, an Alchemist. Whatever that meant. “Confusion.” Mike spoke softly, staring at a panel in the ceiling as he continued. “That’s the bulk of what I feel at first. Just no sense of up, down, left or right. No idea where I am, or who I am. Then the clouds, come and panic and fear start to set in. Then for a moment before I find myself in that other world or wherever it is… in my dream.” Mike adds in hoping that it helped the Dr’s view of his sanity “I’m completely enveloped in that cloud and its suffocating, like it moved in and pushed the very air and oxygen out.”
Mago was scribbling away on his notepad, he stopped for a brief moment to glance quickly at Mike, then back down to his notepad before continuing his notes. It was silent for a minute or two, only the sound of the Dr’s pen scratching away on his notepad before a buzz from the small table beside Mago’s chair buzzed. Setting his pen down, he grabbed his phone, pressing a few buttons on the screen before setting it back down and letting out a sigh that gave Mike the impression, he was slightly annoyed. “Unfortunately, we are going to have to call it short today, I have some things that came up that need my immediate attention.” The Dr spoke as he stuffed his pen and notepad, and various papers back into his suitcase.
“Well it’s only been a half hour so far.” Mike starts to say but was cut off by the Dr.
“Yes, I will be sure you are not charged for this session at all, but I think going forward it’s going to be best if I do house calls to you. Instead of you coming down to me, I should be going down to you.”
Mike looks startled “House calls, why?”
“I’ll explain that in our next session, here give this to your mother.” He hands Mike a slip of paper. This just states I would like to start seeing you at home to help you further and have no risk of an episode here, where I would likely have to call an ambulance due to regulations. But it seems your episodes do not require hospitalization, so best to have our meetings at your house, then if something happens you can be comfortable in your own home.”
“I suppose that makes since. Alright well thanks for the time today Dr. Are we going to keep the same times? Or should we change days?”
“Your mother and I will discuss when the best time for me to stop by is.”
The Dr. helped Mike gather his things and walked him to the door. “Tell your mother to call me tonight to work out the details, see you soon Mike.”
“Thanks Dr. Hey by the way, what book is that, the one you were showing me earlier?”
Dr. Mago looks at him, smiles then says, “We’ll talk about that next session as well” And closes the door.
Mike turns and walks over to his mother, still with her nose in the book she had been reading “Done early today I guess, you ready to go?”
His mom closed the book she was just reading and put it back in her purse. “Yes, why such a short session today?”
“I guess Dr. Mago had some stuff come up he needed to take care of. He said we would not be charged for this session though. Oh, and he wanted me to give you this too.” He handed his mother the slip of paper Mago had given him.
“Home sessions? I suppose that could be nice if you were to ever have an episode during your session. Hope it’s not more expensive.”
“He wants you to call him tonight to work everything out.”
“Alright, well let’s get out of here. Get some grub?”
“Yea I could eat” Mike says, then they both made their way back down the elevator and back outside to the parking lot. Walking across the lot to where the car was parked, “Mexican or Chinese?” his mother asked as they were getting into the car.
“Mexican sounds good” Mike replied as his mother starts the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Mike clicked on the radio and sat back as he heard Billy Joel sing "In the middle of the night, I been walking in my sleep." Mike sighed thinking, "You dont know the half of it Mr. Joel."
