• What to do with recovered lost valuables?  

This week on my walks, on three occasions I’ve found two neat cellphones and one wallet, sans cash, but cards and identification intact, one of an airman. I’ve called law enforcement five times—no help, predictably. I called “emergency” to see if the phone ID would trace back, and the respondent told me he could only report the call was emergency 911, and the carrier was Verizon, no other ID.  Called the military security and apparently they only have hard R tards on duty, srsly can’t distinguish Edward from William by name, ffs?!  I might as well post a sign by the side of the road for better visibility.  So I did! Let’s see if that works.

I went to Verizon and they basically threw me out of the store as if I was a scammer?!  “Not your phone, not my phone, I’m not touching it, get out.”  F*ck Verizon cellular, and for 100 other reasons.

I queried the phone’s emergency medical info (?!) and found a name, but no contact info. Calls again to “law enforcement,” couldn’t care less.  

I put up a FOUND PHONE!! Poster at the place it was lost. Created a burner number to call, which I’ll be watching. Hope this bloke gets his phone back!  

Lessons:  emergency contacts in medical info credentials of phone—the phone will display contact numbers of several people. If enabled, you can call the emergency phone contacts on the recovered phone directly. Alternatively, using your personal phone, you can make contact via the lost phone’s emergency contacts. I just updated mine. 

Hope Lost and Found finds you well, cheers ☎️