One of the hardest things we, as humans, are called to do is to forgive. It might be about someone who hurt us, a situation that left scars, or, very often, about ourselves. But the truth is that forgiveness is not a gift we offer to others — it is a gift we offer to ourselves.

From a psychological perspective, when we don’t forgive, we remain trapped in a cycle of resentment and pain. Negative emotions drain our energy, affect our relationships, and even harm our health. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or approving what happened — it means choosing not to carry that burden in our hearts anymore.

I once heard a simple yet powerful story: someone carried anger for years towards a parent who had neglected them in childhood. Their life felt stuck, unable to build healthy relationships. The day they chose to work on forgiveness (not overnight, but through small, conscious steps), they felt an inner freedom they had never experienced before. Forgiveness did not change the past, but it opened the future.

How can we move towards forgiveness?

1. Acknowledge the pain – you cannot forgive what you deny. Accept what happened and how it affected you.

2. Understand that forgiveness is a process – it doesn’t happen instantly, but every small step matters.

3. Separate the act from the person – you can condemn the behaviour but still allow compassion for the human behind it.

4. Direct forgiveness towards yourself too – sometimes the hardest is to forgive our own mistakes.

Psychology shows us that forgiveness has direct effects on our mental and emotional health: it reduces anxiety, boosts self-esteem, and brings more peace. Far from being a weakness, forgiveness is a sign of deep inner strength and maturity.

Challenge for you: think about a situation or a person towards whom you still carry resentment. What small step could you take today towards forgiveness?