Yesterday in my post where I tried to warn about the dangers of being over-influenced by reels (of whatever format) I made a comment about how women often expect to manage the household, but then complain about having to carry the mental load and how men take up a subservient role in the running of the household. There is some validity to these arguments, but at the same time without balance such reels can create a damaging influence on relationship. Validity was related to such ideas as asking, helping and supporting and he should be present as a partner. This often is not the case and it is very often down as much to her as it is him.

Interestingly, and I live in my non-native culture so there maybe some cultural elements to this observation, I was told relatively recently by a female child psychologist that in this particular culture men are expected to be slaves for the first twelves years of any child's life and that it is not progressive and actually damaging. So there is little wonder, where I am, that I find myself in a subservient position. Although I think it is probably wider than that. My brother refers to his wife as boss lady and this is an idea that is widely prevalent in UK culture. While she is usually more responsible than he in her choices the point is she can (within reason) do as she wants and he does as he is told!

So, my throw away comment from yesterday refers to the fact that I may or may not have written on article way back when about delegation and task sharing and this is what I want to come back to.

I am going to do it without reference to anything I have written or produced previously so it will come down to concepts and ideas.

• Delegation is simply the allocation of a task to another, but it stops short of asking somebody to do something.
• Asking presents an option to say no. Imagine - can you do the washing up? - No! - rather the asking is a case of semantics and the use of polite language. When I superior at work says Can you get that report on my desk by tomorrow morning? he is not asking he is telling in polite language and so the same follows else where.
• Delegation is about the conveyence of authority so that the delegated person is equipped to fulfill the task with all that they need. In effect when asked it should be treated as though the person doing the asking is actually doing the task.
• Delegation should be specific, this is not micro-management, but it is stating the end goal and then leaving the delegated individual to get on with it.

Not a perfect example, due to my previous arguments, both above and in yesterday's post, but if one spouse asks the other to load up and turn on the dishwasher before going to work there is the task, it is specific, clear and with a deadline, but the details of how it is loaded up and when exactly it is turned on are left to the one who was asked. And, yes there should be consequence if it not done, even if it is annoyance.

The reason the example is not perfect is because somebody should realise that it needs doing and then whoever should just do it.

However, if there are complaints later about how it is loaded it discourages the one who did it from doing it again because they don't want to get into trouble.

And this neatly brings me on to why delegation can fail. It always comes down to a lack of trust.

• I can do it better myself.
• They won't do it right (read my way)
• I can do it faster.
• They are not sure they can do it (so teach them!)
• They know the might make a mistake and get into trouble.
• If I ask, I am relinquishing power - they might do it better than me.

Like I already stated, this boils down to a lack of trust and the last one is of particular concern because between the lines it is saying I don't trust you because you might be better than me and therefore you are a threat.

This last one is even present in my professional life. If for some reason I am absent there is a facility where somebody else can step in and run the session. BUT none of us ever allow that to happen, because it is easy for a colleague to step in and do something super-slick and this can result in the client transferring their services. It is a dog-eat-dog world and integrity all too often does not outweigh personal need.

And so there we have it, whether domestically or professionally, if there is a failure to task share it ultimately comes down to a lack of trust. Prove me wrong in your comments :)

As always stay safe and well my friends.