Catfishing; the practice of creating a fake identity to deceive others online is an art form and when pulled off a very lucrative scam and this is what makes it particularly dangerous. The very best catfishers display high levels of digital savvy, convincing communication skills and emotional awareness.

Please understand that admiring the skill it takes does not mean I find it acceptable.

Look at the image above (obviously AI Generated). This the stereotype; a (usually) middle aged man possess as an available young and very attractive girl. She builds a relationship with a mark and then leverages her relationship for financial gain, either directly through the relationship while dangling the proverbial carrot in front of him. Alternatively, she encounters a crisis and needs a bail out. 

Once she has milked him she disappears!

Although this is how it often goes it is not always the case. One specific case I came across concerned a woman in her 60s who had never been in a relationship and with no disrespect to her she was not particularly physically attractive and may well never have been Sorry if it is offensive but we live in the real world. However, moving on before I put my foot completely in it, she was looking for that special someone on a dating website when she came across Tom (not his real name - can't remember tbh). Aged 28, Tom was a serving soldier in Afghanistan with a ripped body and a healthy tan. He was, to many, the ideal image of what a good looking man is. Over the course of a year they built up a relationship and he promised that they would move into together once he was demobbed (British term for leaving the military) and able to return to the UK. From her perspective they were really excited with the prospect of setting up home and then he said he'd find an ideal place and he showed her the pictures of it and said that he had a handle on the finances as he would be able to put the deposit down before they lost the opportunity. He did say however that the accelerated timeline presented a problem as he didn't have all of the necessary £130,000 and that he could only put up half. He then asked her for the other £65,000 and as soon as he got it, he disappeared.

My take on it, while being sympathetic (all she wanted to do was meet a special somebody which made her vulnerable) her naivety bordered on being stupid. I am not blaming her, but realistically why would such a good looking guy, who could have his pick of who he wanted be genuinely interested in a relatively unattractive woman in her 60s? Sorry if this is offensive, but i am calling it as it is. We have to remain realistic.

The first rule of scamming is that if something seems too good to be true it usually is!

To avoid getting caught out there are some things that we should look out for routinely. These are the main red flags.

• A refusal to meet in person or video chat whatever reason they give. Even if they have supposedly genuine reasons it means that the trust that the relationship should have is absent.
• Photographs are too good to be true. Some suggest that images can be verified through a reverse image search to check if their pictures are stolen or AI-generated. I personally question the effectiveness of such an approach. The tiger I produced is more than ample evidence of this as have my recent discussions on AI.
• Inconsistent or vague details with stories that don’t add up or change over time. A simple method, employed by police interrogators the world over is to ask questions that confuse the time line. The truth, as it is intrinsic to the person and their memories will always surface. A catfish will get confused. "So on Monday you went to the cinema (they told you it was on Tuesday) and on Tuesday you had your job interview. Next time you speak how their job interview went on Monday. They may occasionally be confused with the truth but not as often as a catfish
• Rapid emotional escalation, “Love bombing” or intense affection early on can be a manipulation tactic that compels the mark to handover money. The catfish will play on the mark's emotional vulnerability.
• Requests for money or gifts, often in the face of an occasion or a crisis (I broke my laptop) is a classic scam move, simply never send money to someone you haven’t met in real life and even more so with crypto.

You can additionally protect yourself by being smart. Be realistic and not naive. If you are an older man will a girl in her early twenties really be interested in you? Keep your personal information private: Don’t share your address, workplace, or family details with someone you don’t truly know. Where possible verify their identity; ask for a video call, check their social media presence, and look for mutual connections and finally trust your gut: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore that inner alarm.

Remember that number one rule. If it is too good to be true it probably is.

That aside, following the above steps is often not enough. For example what if the person does make real contact and uses that to leverage an advantage or other factors come into play. Manipulation is an art and catfishes are masters. This is a theme I will explore in a later post. For now I have something else in mind if I have time tomorrow.

Always beware. Better to be suspicious and sceptical than to be caught out!

As always stay safe and well my friends.