I hate money

By Average Jo | Observer Logs | 8 Jan 2020

**Originally posted January 8, 2016 on Facebook

I had a rough day. In the last 24 hours I've suffered a bombardment of seriously annoying shit. I haven't been pissed off like this in so long I almost forgot how good it can feel!

But I hung in there. With every circumstance that annoyed me, I allowed myself some rage and then put it aside because whatever the REAL reason was, it had nothing to do with anyone but me. I'm the one in charge of how I feel after all. I just didn't know all those times what was at the root of it.

And that's perfectly normal I might add, given I am actually human. It's impossible to be rational when you're seething inside, I learned that much in the past year. That "putting it aside" trick really does come in handy once you practice it a few times.

So I sifted through all the seemingly random irritations that sparked me so much all day while I was on the drive home, looking for connections. I do happen to have a very well trained brain in my head, so I put it to good use in as objective a way as I could and, by God, I think I've actually figured it out! The root of my rage...

I fucking hate money.

I really do. I've never hated a person, ever, that can even come close to the visceral, seething, disgusting, red hot burn, destroy out of existence hatred that I feel about money.

If the love of money is the root of all evil, that's pretty much a guarantee for me that I'm not evil because I fucking hate money. I would argue that the evil lie that is money can be found skulking around at the root of every travesty committed against humanity in our modern history.

It's no wonder that the sage advice to "follow the money" never really solves anything other than to provide some gotcha moments for people caught in the trap because the corruption just continues on unabated. Following the money is a fools game, the money itself is the god damn problem because we are dumb enough to attach worth to it.

The only reason we assign any kind of value to money is because of the argument that "people can't be trusted". And the system supports that on-going need not to trust other people. Distrust spawns greed, envy, jealousy, blame, avoidance, denial, paranoia and on and on. We've ended up with a society that covers the spectrum of "mental illnesses" from psychopaths and narcissists right on on through to schizophrenia and PTSD, with huge batches of depression scattered throughout and those numbers are growing every day.

Money is the thread that connects it all.

The sickness of money doesn't even care how much of it you have either, it doesn't matter. Damn, rich people suffer just as much as poor people in terms of mental illness. Look at Donald Trump for God's sake, he's a fucking crackpot! Money sure didn't assist with his emotional health, that's for sure.

Money is like a cancer that infiltrates every crack that forms, in people first and then throughout the systems we create and try to hold on to to "survive". It's probably what created cancer in the first place.

I don't have a solution, obviously. If I did, I wouldn't feel frustrated about it when it grabs my focus like this. But I'm at least further ahead than I was before because I can name it and call it out when it tries to reach up and bite me in the ass.

Fuck you money. May you die an infinite number of deaths so we the people can start living like we were meant to. I'm more than willing to trust people if that's what it takes for money to exhale its final breath.

We don't own money, money owns us. That's how you know it's time for a re-roll. And I see a massive re-roll coming if we don't figure this shit out.

It's a tough nut to crack as an individual living amongst a collective who doesn't have the same perceptions as I do. But that's OK. I'm not done here yet. There is a solution, there always is. I'm just not seeing it yet, that's all. Just gotta practice opening my eyes a little wider. All three of them.