I don't even know where to begin. what the fuck am I doing. it feels like I have been in the same position forever and it is giving me existential dread. it feels like I am trying everything and nothing at the same time and I think that's a big problem. I know how to assess myself, I am almost closer to 30, and still, nothing substantial to do. i don't even want anyone to read this who knows me. I don't know what to do. I hate school so I flunk most of my classes, I am trying to do dropshipping but it feels like I would just end up wasting time and failing, why.

[link in the description] called sticking to one thing, and I know this everyone who is super successful is probably sticking to one thing. DR.k from healthy gamer said a build is viable but what is my build. I don't even trust myself to write another post tomorrow or the day after that, because i use to have a WordPress website but that fell through. i did POD, i still get sales irregularly though but still not consistent.

i see videos about feeling lost on youtube and i say ! GREAT am not the only one but that doesn't make me feel good, sometimes I want to not get out of bed and do anything, but then there is all the hustle video on youtube and I feel as if I just put the work in something will happen. but we are back to a big problem where?

I listen to a lot of podcasts and listen to audiobooks but then my inner voice says I'm stupid because it's not going to help because I don't implement anything and it's back to square one. the only times I feel ok is when I am wasting time watching youtube videos or listening to music but my brain shows me all the better people on Instagram or YouTubers making millions while I can't and then I get motivated to do something again and around the cycle goes. 

anyways I hope no one read this shit.

if you read this and you have been here telling me how to fix it, what should I do. do i have any unique gifts i can use to get myself together and start making money or something