Over the last several years the thoughts  of " Who am I"?, "Why don't I have better quality friendships?", "What's wrong with me?" have plagued me more intensely than in my youth. 

These thoughts often resulted in  a great deal of stress and anxiety within my life causing issues with relationships, employment and just general disappointment in who I am or who I thought I should be.

I know that I have been raised to be a good person.  I had parents who did the best they could with the life lessons they had been taught.  I have also been blessed to have the influence of both sets of my grandparents along with a host of  Aunts/Uncles who also influenced my emotional and spiritual beliefs.

I even belong to a major religious organization that gives me some, but not all of my spiritual answers.

Growing up, I had a few very close friends along with numerous "casual friends" .   Both who seem to treat me the same way; I am there but not truly included in the everyday invites of life.

So, in response to these every increasing thoughts I have spent the  last several years studying my own personality, my behaviors and my overall thoughts about/within life.

These studies included innumerable personality tests, speaking to councilors, friends and even some religious leaders.  All of which were only able to provide me with the generic answers that I already knew.  

Here are a few of the questions I had hiding in my soul.

1.  Why do I tell and use  stories or allegories in almost every conversation?

2.  Why, when I join a group, such as a local church congregation, a job, or even in school program, do I feel everyone seems to be invited to everyone else's home or outing and I get left out?

3.  Why do I have an abundance of energy some days which lasts all day along and other days I curl up in bed and hide?

In my continuing studies I began  listening to a podcast where  a life coach by the name of  Emma Dunwoody was being interviewed.  She began to speak about a program that she found a few years ago called The Human Design Project.

This sparked a vague memory  prior to my current investigations,  of ordering the big color chart and seeing all the numbers and filled in areas and then it disappeared from my life and thoughts. 

So I jumped online to find the website that Emma suggested to go to. My Body Graph.com  ( no affiliation other than it was mentioned in the podcast).

I entered the details as they requested and again was provided the incomprehensible chart.  However, this time was different as the internet has expanded to such a point that you can find almost anything you want.

So, I read the initial free information over the next couple of hours.  To my surprise, answers began to reveal themselves almost instantly.

I was given 4 major points of interest which began a whirlwind of thoughts and mind opening answers.

Point 1.  Why I act the way I do.

Point 2.  How to utilize the information to relieve the stress and anxiety of my questions.

Point 3.  What purpose, other than spiritual, that I have on this plane of existence.

Point 4.  How to move forward in my life with this information.

The following posts will be things in regards to the journey I am undertaking to learn more about My Human Design.