Another Anime/Dragon Ball article?! I know, I know, but trust me, this one's good. But first, some build-up:
This was back when I started the Athlean-X "22 Day" Ab Workout challenge.
On Day 3 I found myself quite lethargic, as there was just no sense of urgency for it, and I had to dig deep.
I used to have a few rivals to compete against, but to tell you the truth, being MGTOW feels like the ultimate victory over them already.
Anything more is kicking a blue-pilled man while he's down.
I have a regular selection of Vegeta scenes from DBZ that I use for motivation, and some are more intense or thematic depending on my mood.
However, I still wasn't resonating with any of them, so while laying down, procrastinating, I asked myself:
"Why do I really have to do this?", and I answered, "Because you agreed to it."
And so, I started the work out. It was difficult without any extrinsic motivations as well as no clear idea for an intrinsic purpose, but over time my pride and desire to complete the work out developed, and I eventually tapped into a deep-seeded anger within me that led me to completely dominating the work out.
I tapped into the evil in my heart.
Although I was about equal or slightly above my rivals in fitness, I now desired to completely blow them out of the water. And I went even further, including people that weren't even exercising.
I specifically targeted a few people who were Christians, because I recently came out to my family that I did not believe in the Bible's interpretation of God or the events about the life of Jesus.
These people claim to have this connection to the Holy Spirit, and yet they continue to make poor financial decisions, are unable to curb their diet, and are generally unproductive with their time.
So there I was, going Super Saiyan, with an M on my forehead, sharp breaths in between reps that I want to kill their God.
"And I have to say it felt pretty good."
I performed a chest workout the night before, and still felt motivated to show them all the true power of the Majin Spirit vs. The Holy Spirit, but after the workout was done I wasn't interested in re-watching the motivational videos.
I took a cold shower and realized how big my life actually is, with all the other goals I want to accomplish, and my true purpose and ambition hardly concerns anyone else in my family.
Even during my nightly journal session, I just wasn't on the frequency to criticize them anymore.
Arriving at Day 4 of the Ab workout, I hesitated to watch the Majin Vegeta video. For some reason, it felt like it was going to require more energy to get emotional about the whole ordeal, instead of turning my brain off and just going through the motions.
"I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about being better than Kakarot. I didn't care about being a Super Saiyan. I didn't care if I lived! I didn't care about anything! And then, it happened." - Vegeta
Vegeta had always felt that Goku surpassing him was an insult to his birthright as "The Prince of All Saiyans." But what Vegeta had to realize was that Goku was never gunning for that position; Goku was always in his own lane.
Goku doesn't even use his Saiyan-given name "Kakarot". The Saiyan race is effectively dead and Vegeta and Goku are the last ones left, as their children are half-breed. There is no kingdom left to rule.
Vegeta became Super Saiyan when he finally dissolved his ego, and let go of all those external motivations. He had the power level to achieve the state a long time ago, but it was his insecurities and mental blocks that prevented it.
When he no longer cared about that, when his external world crumbled to the point that it nearly got him killed, that's when his mind was forced to retreat into the quietness of his inner world, and suddenly, he exploded back as a Super Saiyan.
And so, I will stop where I am now and use his lesson.
I do have emotional issues. Insecurities. Pride. But I have to let it go.
When the workout started to get tough, and the images of the people I was angry at flashed into my mind, I let them go.
"I want to become my own person." I told myself.
I may not be able to go Super Saiyan in real life, but I can enter a flow state, and it always requires me to lose my ego:
"Jeanne Nakamura and Csíkszentmihályi identify the following six factors as encompassing an experience of flow:
- Intense and focused concentration on the present moment
- Merging of action and awareness
- A loss of reflective self-consciousness
- A sense of personal control or agency over the situation or activity
- A distortion of temporal experience, one's subjective experience of time is altered
- Experience of the activity as intrinsically rewarding, also referred to as autotelic experience"
It's possible that I could continue to use those dark emotional feelings as fuel to power my workouts to incredible heights, like how Vegeta's fury kept him alive at 450x Earth's gravity, but I don't think that power comes free.
What I gain in physical power might result in a trade-off that holds me back emotionally and drain me spiritually.
I have to thank Immortal Mindz. I feel like he supported my comment because he secretly knew what was coming next.
I won't dissuade anyone from using these negative forces and external factors to motivate themselves for their goals. We all resonate with different frequencies, and Vegeta's was particularly dark. He was outer space under a lightning storm and meteor shower for goodness' sake!
But through the darkness came the bright light of the Super Saiyan.
See you on the Far Side... - Monk Moon Base
What do you think? What motivates you during your workouts? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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