Our minds and thoughts are personal and yet they are influenced by many many factors.

These factors varies but they come from our five major sense, touch, hearing, smell,sight and taste. Once our sensing receptors are activated the flow of information can then be transferred from one single experience and stored into our brain. The data can then be formulated into our subconscious mind, and reanalyzed by our brain processors. Then brain processors then gives out data to our conscious mind and in return release the results as they become our personal perception. Perception becomes our ideas and knowledge. The command prompts in our brain will then tell advise our body to whatever needs doing base on analysis and ultimately base of reflexes from the five major senses.

Everything that we do are influenced by these senses to form experience and to feel existence and until those experiences becomes memories. So what is my point? The point is we need to open our senses to anything the world offers but always make sure our firewalls to our brains are always activated and protected. The world is full of negative vibes and virus. These viruses once they manage to get inside our head our operating system will destroy our peace and will surely destroy our lives.

This article is all about protection or the lack thereof. I want to talk to you about my cousin Jason. And the life he leads influenced by many factors that had changed the course of his journey. This one is not an inspirational story. This is a life changing moment of a young innocent boy who wandered off to the dark edges of self worth. 

Jason was the youngest siblings. Not until 10 years later when he had a younger sister. Anyhow, life was good for Jason when he was young. He had all the attention. In fact I'd say his childhood was way better than I experienced maybe. That's what I believe. Being the youngest boy sibling he was spoiled with love and attention from his parents and from his brothers and sisters. And even from close relatives.

But living in the city within the slums of Iligan could take it's toll. Young Jason witnessed how his elder brothers and cousins join group fights from other youth and kids. It's all about territory. Gang wars and fights were common in those times. And as what I understand base only on how Jason shares his story, he wanted to prove himself to others. The kids called him "Bayot" a mocker name to tease him of being a gay. Jason is not gay. But in the slums, it is the battle of the fittest. Whoever is small and weak get's all the rants and mocking. Jason was timid and small. Proving yourself to the world, to the group, longing for respect could be very very exhausting. Even my other cousins, Jason's older brothers call him the same mocker name.

In my own understanding this had been the single spark that lit the fire burning. Hearing those mocker names could corrupt a young innocent mind specially when the operating system in his brain was still a clean slate. The virus is hungry and ready to write it's legacy down little Jason.

In his youth Jason had been involved in juvenile offenses. Stealing copper wires to sell from the nearby city hall cable had him arrested. And since he was still underage he was released. Jason joined a group of Christian gangster and almost every night they engage into gang war with rival Muslim Gang group in the city. For kids with no money to arm themselves, guns aren't necessary, it's all about fist, knives, ice picks and some improvised shotgun made of a metal tube from a small water pipe. Jason always involved in riots with his brothers had made a reputation. From the "bayot" / gay to someone who is bold and brazen. Then came the vices, drugs and gambling is very very common in the area up until these days. No wonder the President Duterte is having trouble ending the drug war. It is still rampant and the runners are the kids. Mostly out of school youth just like my cousin.

When I was in college, Jason had started trying to stand up for himself and walk into the right path. He then went to study high school in the province and lived with my Aunt. But trouble always comes to him. He seemed to attract it. Local gang in the province wanted to prove that a city boy has no place in the area. Left with no choice, Jason standing up for himself not wanting to smear his ego of being tough city boy stood up against bullies. He ended up stopping school at first year. 

Life has been a little too hard for him since. With the death of his father, he felt left behind with no allies. I am his ally and I used to encouraged him always to walk the good path of life. But there's only so much I can do.

The past will haunt our present. And in my cousin's case it had always been haunting him. The virus of life had infiltrated his young mind. It had written a program corrupting his system that a simple clear cache cookies is laughable. 

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@PajeeBear at Cent.co is one and the same @PajeeBear at Publish0x