Greetings, dear readers.
TL;DR: This post is strictly for cishet men whom are being mobbed by women and can't figure out how to be left alone. If you have no sense of humour or don't understand satire, please move along, thank you. You'll be doing yourself a favour.
On the unlikely chance that you've been wondering where I have been for the last few days, why I have broken my promise (as I do all promises) to write and publish at least one post a day, then know that I have been learning more AI and PHP. Since discovering Hugging Face, I have decided to add an AI portion to my Website, to try to cash in on the hype (along with every other Web developer and his dog). However, today's post is about neither (as you probably guessed from the title).
Today, I am going to address the cishet men in my audience. If you are not one, then I suggest you move on to read something else, perhaps the AI page on my Website (linked below). Perhaps some men could do with some artificial intelligence, lacking as they are in the biological/natural intelligence, but I digress. (I've certainly wanted an AI to screen my messages and responses sometimes, to avoid repeating my past relationship mistakes, but I don't yet have thousands of texts to use to train it.)
You're Doing it Wrong!
Hello there, my fellow men (strange creatures that we are). Do you have a problem with women, specifically that you can't seem to stay single for very long and can't find a way to get women to leave you alone? Does turning them down politely but firmly not work? Do they still ignore you when you become rude? Do you only get some peace when threatening violence (the proverbial "beat them off with a stick" method)? No, not you? Well then, this isn't for you. However, if you are one of those rare few whom answered "yes" to all of those questions, then fret not, because I have some unsolicited advice for you: I suggest you try some good old behaviour modification. With just a few easy changes to your interactions, you too can be forever alone, with ten thousand days of solitude (or more). Here's how to regain your peace:
- Go for broke straight off the bat: Send them an unflattering and unoriginal unsolicited photo of your dick. Bonus points to you if you manage to get your toilet or dirty mirror in the background. Contrary to popular believe, rather than increasing women's desire for your Johnson, this blatant "show and tell" tactic actually puts off most women. The kicker is that you won't know beforehand unless you ask (and you certainly don't want to go around asking women what they want or listening to them; that's a sure-fire way to increase their interest in you). Hey, if this backfires and you get a thirsty response, you can always demand nudes. Making sex the priority/basis of a relationship straight out the gate always works out well ...
Right, that's it; post done. Actually, no. If that somehow fails to achieve the desired result (because some small number of women actually like seeing them and have told me as much when I enquired about this weird male behaviour), here are some other things you can try (in no particular order), although they are possibly not as effective:
- Insist that all women are the same, some part of a global hive mind. Treat them all equally badly.
- Refuse to acknowledge that the problems in your life, while possibly not of your own making, are your responsibility to solve. Instead, blame women for them and insist they solve them for you.
- Refer to a clitoris as a "clitty". Be more prepared to put more care and effort into finding a sports statium than you are to find the former.
- Engage in misogynistic/sexist behaviour of any description.
- Exhibit toxic masculinity (strictly defined and enforced gender roles). EG: Say things like "Men can't be beautiful/pretty."
They will certainly try their utmost, anyway ...
If you do the above but still have no luck, you're probably attracting class one clingers. Those "bitches be crazy" for real, my man! It doesn't matter how cute or sexy they are; when you see the crazy in their eyes, run.
There's nothing for it; you've now got to hang out in Incel (actually Volcel, but they're not a bright bunch) forums and groups with truly egregious and heinous mouth-breathing basement dwellers with names like Bubba and Guzz, learning and adopting their ways. Probably throw in some Andrew Tate content for good measure, just to be extra thorough. Sorry about that and good luck!
Since my posts on how to attract women have gone ignored, I figured that taking the opposite approach (writing about how to repel them, since most men do that) might be more effective. (I can't get men to fight an issue they refuse to acknowledge exists or is valid. Other people might have success with that.)
Snark out!
