Warning: Bad puns about mammary glands and sexual conduct inbound.
I get the impression that there are a certain category of "Adult-themed" computer games with sexual content that are made primarily by lonely virgins destined to be forever alone, for lonely virgins destined to be forever alone. Here's why:
One of the telling characteristics is that the behaviour and dialogue is not even remotely reflective of how real, live women behave (even the few cock-hungry, slutty ones I know). To be clear, I've got nothing against sluts (chiefly because of geography; I'd get something against them if I could, if you know what I mean ...) The aforementioned dialogue is more like what one would expect to find in porn (and really bad porn at that). Women, generally, don't offer to let you grope them or shag their brains out within minutes of meeting you for the first time (even if, for some reason, they'd really like you to). Even the ones who have fantasies/fetishes about being groped by strangers (and I'm acquainted with at least one, due to the circles in which I move) are somewhat reserved about engaging in such behaviour. I don't care if you're the last man on Earth and they've been wondering through a barren wasteland before finding your love bunker; it's unlikely to happen. Even the women in A Boy and His Dog have higher standards than that. Shelter 69 dropped the ball(s) there. (If you think 69s and/or blowjobs are kinky, you're as vanilla as an ice cream cone at the beach.)
Another massive (pun intended) giveaway is the ridiculous proportions of the characters' oversized breasts, coupled with the "breast physics" of these "fun bags" (or whatever other silly euphemisms that get used). If they really were that size, the women in question (often statuesque waifs or chibis; there's no middle ground unless the developers are into BBWs), would probably be spending most of the game in question bent double with chronic back pain, not swanning around in skimpy clothing they could floss with and which offers absolutely no support. (I dated a woman with an E cup; I know about such things, to the extent that I considered taking a course on professional massage/physiotherapy given how often she complained of a sore back.)
While we're at it, I know of no woman who refers to boys or men as "males" (and it's generally considered demeaning, dehumanising, disdainful and misogynistic if you refer to them as "females", FYI). Shelter 69 is yet another example of its developers not getting the memo ...
"Females"
Folks (particularly of the neck-bearded PFY/teenage basement-dweller persuasion), I'm going to put this out there and it may shock you to know this: Breasts are not giant balloons filled with jelly, giggling upwards uncontrollably at the slightest provocation (and sometimes completely devoid of any). Nekopara is not the only one to suffer from this, since it's prevalent in many titles, the demos of which I've played. (As you'll soon see, DoA is a prime perpetrator of this.) However, what does annoy me about this particular title is that adjusting the slider in one direction makes the bounciness noticeably more pronounced, while moving it in the other direction has negligible effect.
It might titillate you for some reason I don't grasp, but I find that bazoombas that don't obey the laws of physics (including gravity, admittedly a hard concept to grasp for many) detract from the immersion and story. Don't get me wrong here; this is a game about neko-chans, after all (and it is gorgeous); I've got to suspend some degree of disbelief to get my jollies from it. However, I like to have at least some realism in my escapist fantasies; I'm not very good at total suspension of disbelief and I draw the line at gelatinous boobies bouncing all over the show. (I like the games I play to have some plot/storyline, even if it's sprinkled over what is largely pornographic content. Maybe I'm alone in that.)
Holy OMG breast physics, Bayman! What is going on here?
Post thumbnail image by Renderomania on Deviant Art
