Hey crypofans, we love ya! Funny things are coming out as we all crawl through the wreckage. Yeah price action crashed and burned, took out firms, us and everyone. Ernie Hemingway said we all get broken, but some get strong in the places that were broken. 
And laughter is the best, h-ll it's everything. All the details are ONLY COMING OUT NOW!!! Let's look back and laugh at the funniest parts of last quarter's crash!
Warmup funnies:
* Lawyers. Lawyers, like monkeys, are always funny from a distance. Now social struggles for primacy get nasty, stinky urination, poop painting, biting, Herpes B and parasites. Monkeys are bad news also, but they don't call account holders unsecured creditors last in line. Monkeys don't delay account holder recovery as they split hairs over how to define collateralized loan liquidation. 
Funniest to us, when Sammy Fried offered lifeline loans to Voyager, he was a hero with an option to buy. Once the lawyers swarmed in from the jungle, Sammy was a low life low balling vulture, interfering with the lawyers piling up billable hours over how to accept offers, his "option" now a last second ripoff. Thanks lawyers!!
* Monkey biz at Celsius. Alex told officials he was the "least risky biz regulators had ever seen." In 2021, a co-founder insider named Nuke sold > $4mm of Cel, and also two huge firms, WestCap and Canada's #2 pension CDPQ invested $750MM in Celsius while bragging about their due diligence. That's funny!! Celsius openly lost nine figures in bad deals, including Badger Dao. 
When Badger handed out V2.0 coins and asked investors not to sell, Celsius dumped away. NOW, Celsius is asking clients to "stay long crypto" with them, don't cash out at a loss!!!
Dear readers know the funnies are piling up. But only in the wreckage does the real humor pop. Namely, the way these idiots threw cash around!!
Alex borrowed ~500MM for BTC from Equities First in 2019. Alex paid EF back, then Equities couldn't give back the BTC!!! Can you say "Due diligence?"
The mechanics of how these fool firms invested is freaking hilarious. Alex also borrowed $840 million cash from Tether, then agreed to liquidate the loan and take a $100mm BATH!!
Zoom out for a moment - WTF was Alex DOING!??!?? Give Alex a BILLION in crypto, he quickly gives it to some randos for a CASH LOAN! That he PAYS INTEREST ON!!??! WTF was the PLAN, man? Celsius was gonna pay 12% on deposits AND cover overhead AND make a profit by, uhm, loaning the BTC out at a LOSS??!!??!!?
At least Alex was man enough to bumbled-ck his own money away, though, as the Honey Badger incident shows.
The sidesplitter, can't stop laughing to breathe thing here??
Well, pretty funny that Three Arrows Capital went down owing THREE AND A HALF BILLION in loans. Genesis, owned by supposedly serious Digital Assets Group, loaned 3AC 2.35 billion on an undercapitalized (only 80%) loan, THAT's funny. 
Starting billion dollar companies with anybody named Kyle is also funny!!
3AC is also a hoot as Zhu tweeted that he is not rich, bicycles to work, only has two homes in Sing. Poor thing! But anyone who can bicycle to work in Sing lives in a GREAT nabe, now bankruptcy docs reveal Zhu's "only" two homes are worth ~$80 million!!
Funnier than stupid loans, though, are stupid investments, like WestCap and CDPQ. The biggest joke is when crypto lenders took deposits, then handed them off to Zhu to do whatever stupid thing they would never do themselves!! .
Voyager Digital gave 3AC a $650 million UNSECURED loan, how does that work?? Here's a half billion or so, have fun, talk soon! 
Blockfi loaned 3AC $400 million, Sammy had to bail them out. Finblox crashed and locked from 3AC, Derebit too, Blockchain lent a quarter billion and had to lay off 25% of staff.
What were those geniuses at 3AC doing with all that coin? Not #($*&#( much, just random degenerate over leveraged plays everywhere they could ROFL!! They gave Luna $200 million which piffed along with the hopes of many poor Koreans. No bailout for rich Zhu though!!
What else? Really, not much!! 3AC was one of the world's largest holders of Grayscale, GBTC. Dear readers know sometimes Grayscale is at a premium to BTC, sometimes a discount, depending on what the market thinks of the SEC's tea leaves. 3AC bought GBTC for BTC, sold GBTC for the premium, thought they were smart. But it takes six months to sell GBTC (one of the reasons it went down) and the premium turned into a big loss. That's not arbitrage, just a wing and a prayer!! Where was the mastermind plan?? 
What other super genius stuff did 3AC do? They went long as a song on stETH. When ya look at any wrapped coin back in the day, they cost a tiny bit MORE than an unwrapped one. Ok, fine, makes sense. Then along came ones like stETH, ETH wrapped on Lido Finance. This one NEVER made sense. Trade your ETH for stETH 1 to 1, then ya can get interest on your stETH WHILE YOU CAN STILL FURTHER SCREW WITH IT!! How was that EVER to work? It did for a long time, we don't understand. 3AC and Celsius thought they did, doing degen loops to super leverage. When UST died, 3AC and Celsius crashed stETH on themselves, seen as the biggest losers tapping out at the worst haircuts for stETH for Curve and AAVE. Impermanent loss looks permanent then, don't it.
All of these strategies do not require supercomputer time to model, let's just say that. Not a lot of advanced option theory. Just Texas hedges, double down to death. Kyle and Su Zhu are still in hiding, saying they are going to Dubai, which means they are NOT.
The deeply smiley part - few of us know it, but the job we really want is hedge fund salesman. Ya don't have to hit the floor at six AM every day, nor lose sleep over your bets during market gyrations. Ya just have to have a great tennis/golf game, be loads of fun on superyachts, and convince others YOUR guys are supergeniuses.
As far as we can figure out, hat's off to Su Zhu, the ATH sales babe. No need for collateral, sez Voyager, we are SO SURE how smart y'all are. Under collateralizing is fine for YOUR 2.5 BILLION DOLLAR loan, says Digital Assets Group. Thanks for satisfying our due diligence, sez WestCap and CDPQ and all the pensions in Canada. 
The absolute STONES on Zhu and Kyle. People see what they want to see. Blame the game, not the player lol!! HUSTLER BABY!! Ain't where we been it's where we ABOUT TO GO!! Not Dubai.
Peace out, love
Dave
