Cryptofans, welcome back, we LOVE you, we have such a soft spot for you, yours and y'all's collective faith in digital sound money creating a better world. Thanks so much to the world dominating Publish0x for giving us friends to share the love in this crypto earning group therapy chat!!!
Last week was a long bumpy road to a splattered cat that the FT then steamrollered, but this Monday is coming back happier as of course it will sooner or later. Time, the forces of good, and the long arc of history are on our side. Ya can't keep a good idea down. Let's breeze through the two updates from today's FT, we promise the hate level has dropped WAY down, and no one is saying "zero" anymore.
First up- A lurid, spinmaster headline - Cryptonauts are "braced for pain" after "meltdown." Huh, really, unlike the eight to five old trading world, we think we already felt all that pain over the weekend... - what what is there MORE COMING for some deep reason we all missed but only the crack FT team sees?
Well, what's the story? TLDR yes indeed - everyone is braced for "further" pain. BTC already hit $17,628 as central banks raise rates to fight inflation. Wedbush Dan sees "a dark winter ahead for crypto." Backed up by rehash- BTC down, "Ether" down, credit crunch. Rehash - terra, luna, Three Arrows, 600MM liquidated, this will "pile pressure" on balance sheets.
What are the funny parts / real stories? Well, lol, now the FT is quoting prices from CryptoCompare, a gen-u-wine market data source. We swear the FT must be lurking on the world famous Publish0x. We hear the editor shouting "no more different market data on the same page!! no more CoinGecko versus whoever !!" OK with us, CryptoCompare matches up perfectly with our beloved token reptile.
It's all just rehash though, no exclusive interviews, not even unnamed sources (heh.) The smart part is the clever dig - it's all gonna get worse today!! It did not. The only backup - a public announcement from Danny at Wedbush warning us of risk asset defenestration and a "dark winter ahead." Man, that's an overexposed meme now, isn't it? We thought we would not have to hear THAT again after 2020 AND 2021.
But what's funny? Dear readers know we will quickly stoop to being petty - we hold a vague grudge against Wedbush as we once thought we would sell them some whitelabeled research distribution software, but they never came through. Do we kinda remember Danny boy? Surely he is an amazing prognosticator, a man who sees the truth coming in through the fog of fiat war, the FT loves him, yeah? Hah. Take a quick search - the top link is below, the story from Cryptonomics on April 23, 2021: 
Top of the hits, we have our mastermind telling us of his "revelation" ahead of that the price of Filecoin will double in a year to 18 months. More like a bad used car salesman. Let's go to the Gecko!! don't need to annotate this one, every picture tells a story don't it, find April 2021 on the graph and cue the "whomp waaaaaaa...." 
Well, TBF Dan has a few months to run on his prediction, FIL could come ripping back... not
What else is makes us smile in the FT story? The good news, buried as usual in the tail... Dogecoin popped up after another Elon tweet, and Nayib of El Salvador said "stop looking at the graph and enjoy life..."
On the same page, we have another crypto story that the FT doesn't know is a crypto story. The Bank of Japan, unlike everyone else, just can't stop with the quant easing - or as Orange Pill Max repeats " ya can't taper a Ponzi." Watch this space.
The next and final story is a kind of insightful story from Lex on a Pew research crypto survey. Well, that's what we really thought until we dug a bit deeper. What's the story?? It's an old Pew research think tank survey from last year. TLDR We all think crypto bros are privileged rich white boys. Pew shows they are indeed young, and male. But asians, hispanics and blacks in that order are more likely to own crypto than whites. Blah blah, rehash losses, fire up the spin machine. Young minorities are hurt the most. Higher income blacks are more likely to have crypto than higher income whites, and crypto is the first investment of many blacks. Why? Perhaps minorities don't trust banks, or are discriminated against. Housing and education in big cities costs way too much. Congressman Brad Sherman - ruh roh - says we should all be able to buy houses instead of coins. 
What's the REAL story?? sorry, thought we had a happy ending for us all. Instead, we started wondering why Lex is rehashing last year's story. When we first read this survey, we thought that's cool, a multiracial youth movement into crypto. We STILL think so, Pew still has the research up, see for yourself. Lex is just following the lead of the despicable politician Brad Sherman, who has stated he wants to ban ALL crypto. This year, Brad's been peddling this line of horsechit - ban crypto not to protect his fiat printing power, but, y'know, to help minorities and youths. To THESE jerks, it's all just another reason to kill BTC. BTC crushes the young minorities. Don't think about how the fiat overlords have screwed everything up and made us all hungry for a new way. NO, just BAN crypto to protect the minority kids. The cheesy graphics that the FT overlaid on the survey has no color key, and a fairly meaningless use of color in what could be a grayscale chart. Why? because the article is secretly ALL about color. Oh gee thanks, FT, now we understand - crypto is racist. Raaaacisssss !!! OMG that's low. By that logic, we reckon CZ as an Asian should not be ALLOWED to run Binance, we need to BAN BINANCE NOW to help Asians. #&!@(&(*$(!!!!!! 
Oh yeah, also thanks FT, now we know crypto is bad for kids!! What EVER would we do without your omniscient, omnibenevolent (JK) self!?!? Yeah yeah, go on printing fiat to manipulate BTC futures ever downward to help the inner city chillun. IT'S FOR THE CHILLLLLLDREN !! Oh man, it actually would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. Nah, it IS hilarious. This is the weakest stab at crypto we have EVER heard, even masked as simple information, and someday we WILL look back and laugh. It takes nations of fiat overlords to hold us down, baby!!
Peace, love, and freedom through distributed technology for ever,
Dave
