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FT Crypto Watch Aug 8

Crypto believers, we believe in you and love you & y'alls efforts to save future generations from fiat abuse.  Thank you.  Be kind to yourselves for us. We love being with y'all home here on the mighty Publish0x.    Do as we say not as we do lol !!!  Bill Burr says "don't treat your body like a rent a car!" rofl guilty. 572974f6d5d6059f69d44f3a75af5e795e817bb9e719515df58232958140213f.pngHow long are y'all planning to live?  ar ar ar. 

It's a fresh week in the wonderful world of crypto in the FT!!  Anything could happen!!

But what WILL happen?  the FT just won't print Crypto prices on Mondays.  ALLLLL The OTHER World Indices get THEIR July 29th to Aug 5th numbers printed.  WE just get an ugly hole31f771037511d9be48f73e9fa239ae81b29fda6b3063dfe4ff6ccb718a83a94e.png One FU awarded to lazy table jockeys. 

That's OK it's a beautiful day with y'all here cryptonauts, we venture on!!! 

Big news that won't say crypto: It's fun to watch Little Britain bumble forth, a microcosm of the western world.   Two THANK YOUs to Chris ---97258d636b9503dbe6dc432f0a75ec3e0935bb303e8bf0bfdc00d82f79b5638f.pngThe FT reads Freedom of Info docs - the UK  blew over a billion pounds into firms MOST OF WHICH are now zombies.   This is really funny.    When we first moved to NYC it was clear there the papers needed/ had a whole SECTION on corruption: y'know, Sports, and Corruption, State and Local.   The "scheme:" Globalist Rishi prints up > billion pounds of fiat to dish out.  Ready? Our cronies and y'all's cronies give each other , pick a number between zero and FIVE MILLION POUNDS, ya see?  Transfer on paper, not hard to do that way really, zero net transfer needed, IT'S THE SAME MONEY A gives to B, B gives to A. 

With us? OK now Rishi give us FIVE MILLION STERLING.  EACH.  No commercial due diligence whatsoever, the "judgement of co-investors" has been satisfied wha HEY! OOOoooo that's covered with flies and stinking.   Thank you very much Rishi ishi!! 

Surprise surprise, going IN  assumptions of over 50% default rate.  Why not, take the money and run? All legal.  Rishi,  lil sloppy there with the free money only for Cantillon positioned lawyers.   Zoom in for disgust.  Or,  zoom out for meta symbology - what could go wrong?  A truely Keynesian misallocation of funds  worth puking over or what? Billion pounds here & there ya know british peeps, adds up fast when carrying that load.  Kudo's to the FT and FOIA FOIA FOIA upwards and onwards!! Unprecedented THREE thank you's FT!

But CRYPTO in the FT donna summers on the radio 

Well here's a puff piece on Sir Paul. Kind of the same thing.  Paul is a central bank rat at BoE, started in 1980.  Got KNIGHTED for loving central bank life.  Had a spat with fame five years ago when he bitched at the UBS CEO making too much coin.  UBS said JEALOUS!  Paulie said ya we keep bailing ya out.  Good on Paulie for that.  He wrote long articles about his love for the central bank and how they should do cbdcs.  Whatever boomer.  e9dbe66ee25d15abdc357a301a7a74689d957bf5e1ef32d4dd898a1389050c80.pngWTF is Paulie on about here???  Besides his devotion to BoE and BIS.  Why hate for companies involved in cryptocurrencies, of course!! 

BIS sez Shadow banking controls half of all assets. Crypto must be regulated!!! OOOO!!!  Oh YA?  FU Run the numbers - All the money in the world is $1,500 trillion plus, McKinsey sez below, they've been hardasses for all time. 

So this *&$#(*$&#!!!  conflation of lies "sir" bureaucrat paul is b-tching about?  BIS therefore sez $750 trillion in the shadow banking sector.  SO THEREFORE all this crypto hoo-hah is, get this, 0.0013% of the shadow banking problem ex deputy Paulie wants to reghammer.   All the crypto in the WORLD is 0.001% !!! so STFU and go catch those evildoing 99.999% part of the problem shadow bankers that HAVE NOTHING WHAT SO EVER TO DO WITH CRYPTO!!!!!!!!  Do it as like a dry run for catching the .00001% baddie cryptos later, OK? 

Martial arts practice #1. BS detector is wailing.  OK Who is Paul REALLY!??!  We see you Paulie:  1f2c31c67e4f5f8dde1c734b44ae2adb75607ad38aa307afdd41d55c0e43df95.pngPaulie was a ten year KINGPIN rat of the Libor fixing scandal.  59d3eed7f32160d9eef0bd0b03a9c75ae7dd332857cf3120eba3163caacbce62.pngSpare us this crap please.  How should y'all have been handled??? Now Paulie says anyone saying anything is "safe" must have 100% insurance purchased from the BoE.  Project much about shadow bankers OUT of (#$&#(*!!! CONTROL!!???!    CENTRAL bank thugs show ya how it's done.  We don't CARE what this crook thinks about crypto.  He was the final touch, gummint complicit in the giant rip-off ring of the century.   AND he was knighted AFTER the Libor scandal.  Sorry we really can't make you the fed guvner after THAT scandal, but have a knighthood. 

Oh Big FT news: Image rehab puff bit.  Central banker lifer ex-CROOK urges more fun with reghammers, BIS agrees! Who cares?? #(*&#(*$&#(!!!  If y'alls lying eyes read the BIS description of the problem, it's not crypto.  Just 99.999% conflation lies. Oh wait, maybe 1% of crypto is shadow, so that's 99.99999  percent 100% bul(*&$#(*$&(!!!!   FU's all around, BIS, Sir Paulie, FT.  Three out of five FU's with stinkbomb chasers. 

A suiting end for crypto news  in the FT UK print edition!  THAT's sad.  

NOT IN THE FT Dear readers know crypto news is pumping.  Except Hodlnaut, who locked up.  fd03485f4d1796d7461e9d170556e3fa4dcb369991b0378c148c97c71045b88a.pngWe'll miss you, random nicely named central lender.  It's a bummer, Hodlnaut  claimed no 3AC nor Celsius hits, but having to say out loud NO CELSIUS EXPOSURE just makes ya look bad right there.  Hodlnaut had 500mm in deposits, offered 7% in interest, cute graphics, this one aging like milk right now tho. The REALLY FUNNY PART!?!? Hodlnaut had just scored registration approval from the MAS, the hardassed Singapore feds !! AH ha ha ha ha ha sorry.  Hodlnaut withdrew the application.  The MAS just finished raging about how tough they are now on crypto, egg on their face here to miss Hodlnaut bumble effing in the door.  

Online on the FT today -  A hissy fit by Lex, and stablecoins re re redux. 

The LEX meow meow meow have a bowl of milk kitty bit: d517553ce50e267933817bdf0baac6e2e998b57930b1dd82c0e75958371b63d2.pngTLDR BTC & Coinbase number go down.  Blackrock software approval drives stock up 10%!  But no big funds are clamoring for BTC now!! The Blackrock deal was probably dreamt up riding high. Block trading revs went down 6% last quarter!  The SEC is screwing with Coinbase. Depressed volumes means depressed Coinbase shares. 

The REAL story:  Funny, in the FT this week was Larry from Blackrock,  clamoring about his clients demanding crypto!  NOT FUNNY, the FT still doesn't say SEC "probe" of Coinbase, instead they pile on the exchange hate. We DON'T think Blackrock Alladin took a year to pick a platform to integrate.  Even if true, then the Coinbase institutional system is really extra dimensionally spaceman strong.  Good news either way for CB!! 

How could any financial journalist keep a serious tone &  even bother mentioning a 6% drop in crypto trading revenue but not the probe.   Oh ya, Lexers, y'all are way smarter than Blackrock, we are sure y'all are right and Larry is wrongo.   We want to give two FU's. Judges deny, it's just an op bit.   We disagree, it's the mighty rule of the market tower of the Lexxers!!  Judges override. So JUST ONE FU out of five for this reactionary hit job on Blackrock & Coinbase crypto.  

Stablecoins!  417fb55ea825af9f9213c9aa6ae25ce1469e274df4c45d6a36c9b24c47cc7391.pngTradFi loves stablecoins, they think they understand them.  Head lawyer at a16z crypto ( Andreeson) speaks.  We listen, cuz Miles is also head of decentralization, which is the coolest title in a hot minute.  

TLDR:  OK it's funny.  Dear readers know we want the FT to say ALGO stablecoin.  Miles says NO, never EVER call terra a stablecoin AT ALL!!  Yay MILES hold the line!!  Only capital makes a stablecoin.  Many algo's did just fine. 

 In fact, don't say "algo" at ALL in front of the regulation hounds, or they could scr-w the poodle and do REALLY bad reghammering!!!  Worst case, bad regs ultimately will diminish Western influence in DeFi, while costing a lot and causing chaos. OK we likee this lawyer.  Though he then dances on the head of a pin a bit:  Reghammer "guardrails" should be built, but decentralized algos will be stronger than anything.  Sammy Fried style auto rebalances do better, but ya about those guardrails...

Miles is right, it took more real capital AND algo tweaks to rescue DAI.  He's also right that regulators could mess things up even worse than we could ever imagine.  Two thank yous!  

So that's it: Fiat corruption recent, plus fiat corruption past. Crypto is over (again).  Five FU's expended, unprecedented five THANK YOUs!! YAY!  61f9f5676a0f295addab573958de60f3bb9083eaf140d501607e28272077fcc4.png In the real crypto news finally realized how funny the Wrinkledvosses Gemini situation is, more on that in a minute.8e04319a7c5b516dfca8ba80cfd84763318b3ce78cb9f6c2f9fa199e0e1e4995.pngBut right now a moment of silence for Hodlnaut's cute,  has become a non-parrot, ceased to be, self. ce97b8660d8ad2ff96e919450b57863634484b95c74afb1fbc8f603815514cc6.png Peace, love and just 





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Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!

FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!
FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!

The WSJ turned into USA today - which leaves the FT at the top of the heap for serious financial news! Join us for a semi-serious monitoring of the FUD & hate the FT now showers on crypto. Dear readers know we love that pink newspaper but boy howdy does the FT despise crypto--- it's funny. The old guard always fights the new guard. The FT does it eruditely, with misleading comments, fun graphs, and outright lies (usually) attributed to crypto's greatest enemies!

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