Rather, seek to transform suffering! That's what a 2,500 years old technology is all about.
Looking at the multitude of sell help books out there about being happy, be happy, seeking happiness, proves that despite all these literature on happiness, humans are still unhappy. What is worse is that we have a never ending number of gurus, from the spiritual to the scientific and mystical, that talks about how to achieve happiness; and yet, here we are today, still unhappy.
I have come to the conclusion that humans will never be "happy". So maybe it's not the happy state that we should be chasing, rather, to learn how to suffer.
We all suffer, whether we want to admit it it's another matter. We all suffer differently and at different times. The degree of suffering is also different for all of us. Many admit that they are happy and are not suffering. Perhaps their suffering defer.
Suffering Defined
Situations that triggers uncomfortable feelings could be defined as suffering. But I must admit that which ever way you define suffering don't assume that others feel the same. The important thing is to admit you do suffer.
A 2,500 years Way Out
If you want to know the way out, you have to know they way in. That is how people get lost. They get in and don't know how to get out.
Finding the Way In
From my understanding of the literature on this 2,500 years technology, there are basically two ways to get into our suffering. The first is beyond our control, which we inherited from our ancestors, like our genes and DNA. Historical cultural events also shape our lives. For example taking revenge and competition to be better than others. The horrors of our ancestors could haunt our lives and make us what we are today. Do you realised that many of us continue with the profession or jobs of our ancestors? We even carry their names with us. Their history and horrors are also imprinted in our conciousness. Many teachers call these suffering, Karma. In Sanskrit, Karma means "action".
The second way into our suffering is our identity or ego. From the day we are born, we are condition to be an individual. We are given a name, a gender and all the training that goes with that gender, the position of our birth, first born, second born etc. Through out our lives our identity is reinforced over and over again by parents, family, teachers, society, government, religion, employers, partners, friends and the list goes on. We strengthen our identity by training for a profession, by attending self improvement courses, by winning awards, by recognition of the human race as the best, the most powerful and to be looked up to for eternity.
By now it will be very clear that this identity and it's development is for fitness purposes. The stronger the identity the better chances of survival. It is thus a natural phenomenon to have an Identity to ensure survival and continuity. In the pursuit of Identity, we invoke a maltitude of Karma. Good and bad actions.
Either it's the first or second way we came into our suffering, the common theme is the actions involved. By our ancestors or by ourselves, our suffering is caused by our Karma.
The Way Out
Each person has its own karma and suffering. As such it is impossible to find a cure for every single person. It's impossible to also find another person to cure you. The "guru" can only show you the way to cure yourself. You must then cure yourself.
In the Buddhist tradition, the most recommended way is to meditate. Meditation means To Pay Attention. Regardless of which Buddhist teacher or tradition, meditation is the universal tool. This 2,500 years technology is used to transform suffering.
One Example of The Way Out
Meditation will show you the way out of Anger. When anger is triggered, many horrible consequences will arise and killing is one of the extreme. Why did the feeling called anger from your mind to feelings in your body become this terrible action of killing someone else? Its because when it is in your mind, you should have contained it there. Meditation will help to contain this energy in your mind. Pay attention to anger by; recognition, by questioning why it arise. If you discover why anger arises, that intense energy will dissipate.
It will dissipate because, you know that anger is maybe a reaction from things that happened to your ancestors, maybe your ancestors were slaves and we're througly humiliated and suffered under someone who humiliated you. Or this someone attacked your Identity. Your identity is attached to your survival. If this person destroy your identity, you are nothing.
Meditation will further reveal to you ways to subdued sufferings of your ancestors and to deminished the importance of identity. Look at monks, nuns, animals, insect, birds and fishes, they don't place too much importance to whether they win the Nobel Peace Prize and the need to kill another for it.
Things to Note
If another person is making you suffer, you cannot change that person. You can only change yourself. Maybe it will make you feel better if you know that this person has a mental illness or maybe this person is undergoing tremendous pressure and is bullied by his wife, and thus he is taking it out on you. It is not your fault, but you cannot change him. You can only change how you see his situation. It is his karma.
If another person is suffering and putting up a brave face or in depression. You cannot change that person. No amount of nagging and cajoling will help. That person must admit and seek help. The only thing you can do is offer to help.
The Selfish Technology
Unfortunately, this technology only applies to the Self and the Self must be a willing participant.
It's derived from the teachings of Buddha and a multitude of teachers that arose from the tradition. It is not scientifically proven, but a philosophy practiced by many.
