I wrote this piece a couple of months back on my actual birthday, but looking back at it now, the thoughts still hit exactly the same.   When the day finally arrived, it honestly didn’t really feel like my past birthdays. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, maybe it was the exam haze I was just coming out of, maybe it was the age I was turning, maybe it was both. Either way, something about it felt different this year.   When you are younger, birthdays feel like this massive, grand countdown. You expect the universe to feel entirely different the moment the clock strikes midnight. But this year, the transition felt completely invisible. I woke up, looked at the exact same ceiling, and realized that growing up doesn't happen in a single dramatic flash. It is a slow process that catches you by surprise when you least expect it. It happens quietly in the background while you are busy worrying about other things.  

I took a break from writing for a while. Exams took over everything, and writing was the first thing to go. So I figured, what better day to look back on than that day. Stepping away from my laptop and my drafts for weeks to focus on grades felt like a complete brain drain. When you are caught up in the endless cycle of reading, revising, and sitting in crowded exam halls, your creative voice gets buried under the stress. Coming back to a blank page that day felt like taking a first deep breath after being underwater.   A lot of my friends greeted me that day, and it genuinely made me happy. There’s something about people remembering you, taking a second out of their day to say "happy birthday," that hits differently every single year no matter how many times it happens.   But I won’t lie, I was a little upset too. Not everyone greeted me, including a few people who knew my birthday. It stung a little in the moment. But then again, life happens. People get caught up, days blur into each other, and forgetting isn’t always about not caring. Maybe they were swamped, maybe it slipped their mind in the middle of their own chaos. I try to hold onto that instead of the sting. It's dangerous to let your mind invent stories about why a phone stays silent. It's easy to overanalyze a silent phone screen and assume the worst about the people in your circle. But the truth is, everyone is fighting their own silent battles, managing their own stress, and trying to keep their own heads above water. A missed text message isn't a declaration of fake friendship; it's just a symptom of a busy life.  

Still, when I look back at the whole day, it was actually a great day.   Maybe that’s the real lesson of getting older. Not that everyone remembers, or that every moment feels perfect, but that you learn to hold the good and the disappointing in the same hand without letting one erase the other. A day doesn’t need to be flawless to be good. It just needs enough warmth in it to outweigh what’s missing.   So here’s to another year, one I’m choosing to walk into a little wiser about what actually matters, and a little more forgiving of the things that don’t.   Happy belated birthday to me.