The role of a parent has always been one of the major responsibilities that we have in life. All parents aspire for their children to be successful, happy and respected. With the internet and social media dominating the lives of many parents, there is more pressure than ever. They constantly discuss their children's achievements and compare them with others. They wish their children to be the top students, be the winners of all contests, acquire numerous skills and be famous at a young age. This is known as over-competitive parenting. Often parents have the best of intentions but such parenting can have many hidden problems for children. I think that kids require love, support and balance more than the competition is always on.
In the digital era competition is much tougher than ever before. In the past, the parents primarily would compare their kids to their neighbors or their classmates. Now they can share them with millions of children worldwide via social media. They watch children win awards, speak in multiple languages, solve complicated maths problems and become internet stars every day. These online postings can make parents feel like their children are not making the progress they should be in school. But, what you tend to see online is typically the highlight of people's lives. There are many struggles which are not public.
Stress is one of the big threats of hyper-competitive parenting. So many kids have very busy schedules. They participate in many activities after school, including music, sports training, coding, language and many other classes. Their time for rest and play is very limited. Some kids even study late at night for the sake of their parents' expectations. This can cause them to feel tired, worried and 'weak' over time. Instead of enjoying learning, they start to be afraid of making mistakes.
There's another secret risk: the loss of childhood. Children's years are a unique time for children to play, imagine, make friends and find themselves. If everything is geared towards winning, or being the best, children may miss many enjoyable moments. I believe children get good lessons from simple play, from discussion at home, from being outdoors. These experiences make them creative and emotionally healthy adults.
Striving to compete with others in a hyper competitive way can also diminish children's self-confidence. Parents who constantly compare them to others can cause the child to start thinking that they are not good enough. They can feel bad about themselves, even if they accomplish a lot! This makes a situation where success will never be fulfilled. Rather than take pride in their achievements, they are only thinking about what they haven't done. This can have a long-term impact on their confidence.
The mental health issue is also serious. Stability can be a trigger for anxiety and depression as well as the fear of failure. Sometimes children don't want to try new things because they don't want to let their parents down. Some will avoid seeking assistance to deal with their issues. In public, they may smile, but in private they might feel lonely or overwhelmed. It is important to take care of one's mental health as well as academic performances and parents should be mindful of this.
Another issue is that the child may get bored of learning. Children should learn to be curious, to explore new ideas in an enjoyable way. But how teaching becomes about "scoring higher than others" dulls the excitement of learning. Kids can learn for fear of punishment or to make mom/dad look good. They end up not asking questions anymore, are more worried about getting right answers. This hinders creativity and independent thinking.
The digital era also brings about unhealthy competition via social media. Some parents are very proud of their children and put all their achievements on the internet. Celebrating is fine, but it can put pressure on the child and other families if this becomes a frequent occurrence. As children start to believe that any success should be displayed for all to see. Rather than feel good about themselves, they may feel good about others liking or commenting on their posts, or following them.
Parents who are hyper-competitive can also have a negative impact on family relationships. In relation to family time, conversations might only be about homework, exams, competitions, and future careers. Children can be reluctant to speak the truth due to the fear of negative reaction. Ultimately, this can decrease family trust. A healthy family is one in which children feel safe, accepted and loved–even when they make mistakes.
Parents need to be aware that children are unique individuals. Some kids are great at maths, others are more musical, artistic, sportsy, able to write or communicate. There should be more than one measure of success. All children are different and grow at a different rate. Attempting to make children do the same things might prevent them from finding their own gifts and abilities.
Children can be encouraged in a healthier manner. Parents are able to acknowledge effort – not just achievement. They are able to hear what their kids say when they talk to them about how they feel. They can leave opportunities for children to rest, play and have family time. Encourage children to set achievable targets and to reward themselves for their progress, rather than putting pressure on themselves. Most importantly, parents should teach values such as kindness, honesty, responsibilities, respect, etc. and values are important in life.
To wrap up, it can be said that the overall reasons for the increase in hyper-competitive parenting are due to the digital age and social media. While parents can be doing the right thing for their children, undue pressure can be a cause of stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, mental health issues and strained family relationships. I think in order to be successful, one must not be better than others. It's about being the best you can be, being healthy, kind and happy. Encouragement, understanding and unconditional love are more important to children than endless competition. By emphasizing on nurturing their child's balanced development rather than comparison, parents equip their children not just for successful careers, but for successful and satisfying lives.
