For the past four years I have written down lessons and important things I learned that year that I don’t want to forget. I match the number of lessons to my age to challenge myself. It also gives me an opportunity to reflect on the past year and realize what the most important lessons were. Every year I have some new ones and some that I had learned in previous years because sometimes I need to learn something two, three maybe four times; ya know just to make sure. I keep these and after I finish one, I add it to my collection and read them all. I guess you could say I use it as a gauge of what I need to work on internally to build a better me, and a reminder of things I may have forgotten. I hope that sharing this will help someone, or maybe inspire someone to do the same. These won't fit everyone, but they fit me and helped me grow. This year I turned 28, so here are the 28 lessons I learned this past year.
1 - Planning for the future is important but realize life will change and plans will follow suit.
2 - You can only control your actions - everything else in life is a game of chance
3 - You are allowed to start over at any time for anything
4 - Anxiety and depression are less of a curse and more signals to heal or change something in your life
5 - You cannot ignore your emotions - sit with them instead and allow them to move through you otherwise they will build until you can't ignore them anymore
6 - Healing is possible and a worthy journey, but you must let go of what is hurting you first.
7 - It is okay to ask for help - no one can do everything
8 - You cannot stop or predict death - it is part of life and can happen to anyone at any time. Don't wait to see someone. Don't wait to make amends.
9 - Grieving does not have a time frame.
10 - Mail handwritten letters to the people you love. They will appreciate it.
11 - Sometimes you can do everything within your power to change an outcome, and it still won't change. That's because it wasn't meant to. You won't know until you try though, so try.
12 – Take time to feel good about yourself. Face mask, wearing clothes you like – things of that sort.
13 - If you do not like something in your life then change it in your life – you are the only one that can.
14 - You cannot be oppressed if you refuse to be. Some will say that’s not true, but who can truly stop you other than you?
15 – No one belief system is more correct than another. Do what is right without infringing on other rights to live the belief they choose. After all we are all human and without certainty of what awaits us.
16 - Arguing with religion is pointless and exhausting - you aren't going to change their mind, nor do you have a right to.
17 - Understand who your tribe is and stick with them. That's where you will grow and thrive
18 - Someone is always going to disagree with you, be mad at you, and even hate you, but if your intentions are pure, it doesn't matter because someone also agrees with you, is inspired by you and even loves you.
19 - Love comes in many forms – recognize the forms and you'll see how much you are loved.
20 - Maintain friendship with your spouse and there will be nothing you can't overcome.
21 - If you do something for someone, do it from love and don’t expect any reaction out of it – you'll never be disappointed.
22 - Life can be hard as fuck. Get over it and do something with it anyways.
23 – Go to that thing you were invited to every now and then – you won't regret it.
24 - When doing DIY or creative projects be patient and do your research – slow is fast and fast is slow.
25 - A dog can teach you more about playing, unconditional love and contentment than most people can.
26 – Mel Robins 5 second rule works.
27 – You can do anything for a moment – so take things moment by moment if you need to.
28 – Plant a native garden at least once – you'll be amazed how many beautiful plants are native to your area, and how much life you can bring to your yard / porch / window.
I read the past few years list and they revolved a lot around loving yourself and healing. This year had those themes as well but also included radical acceptance. I am happy to say I have grown and learned for yet another year.
Thank you to my family and Superman (my husband) for being patient with me and for your unconditional love and support. Thank you to my therapist Jamie for helping me navigate through my healing journey. My therapist has an amazing Spotify station here and TikTok here. I will always suggest checking her out – if she can lead me to healing, she can lead anyone lol.
I'm putting some links below for you to check out and remember You are NOT alone. You ARE worthy. You ARE capable. You ARE deserving. You ARE seen. You ARE heard. You ARE loved. You ARE appreciated. You ARE Enough.
I cant wait to see how amazing your story turns out <3 - Regina
If you are suicidal, feel like hurting yourself or know someone who is Call or text 800-273-8255
For Trans or LGBT Youth I suggest you check out Youth outright here - I participated in them in my teenage years and they can be a wonderful place to find support or meet friends. If the hyperlink doesn't work copy and paste https://www.youthoutright.org/
If you need immediate support in a time of crisis, please contact Trans Lifeline - 877-565-886
A simple Google search is often the best way to find support and answers.
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