Stand Up - Women dont try on clothes - they get behind the clothes.  They hold it up and stare in the mirror.  Men dont do that 

Elaine is changing channels with Jerry on the couch.  Jerry's birthday is coming up with a root canal on the same week.  Elaine flips to naked people.  Jerry doesnt want to see naked people - "been a while" says Elaine.  They begin to talk about sex and then start making looks at each other.  Look expert.  I know the look.  Things occur.  Cant forget the past completely.  Jerry thinks about 25 times.  Elaine says 37.  We know the terrain.  Hypothetical - What if we wanted to have sex.  We go in there.  Its not complicated.  But there could be little problems.  Friends is very good.  That would be good.  Idea is to combine this and that.  Take this and add that.  Jerry says there must be ground rules.  Rule 1 - no calls the days after that.  Sleep is separate.  Rule 2 - spending the night is optional.  Now we are getting somewhere.  Well...  They awkwardly walk to the bedroom.  

Kramer walks in.  Jerry is pouring OJ.  Elaine walks out of the bedroom.  Kramer knows

George "whats the deal with aquaman?  Is he restricted to water only."  Jerry blurts out that he slept with Elaine last night.  George is flabbergasted.  This is huge.  Jerry doesnt want to give details.  Not in the mood.  George demands details.  No job, no place to go.  Get in the mood.  George would never turn off the naked station.  He would never leave.  Jerry says - somehow we started talking about having sex.  Very passionate.  What are you feeling?  Not exactly a couple.  George laughs at Jerry.  There is no way you can have sex and remain friends.  Cant have your cake and eat it too.  Cant be done.  Thousands of years - cant be done.  Rules - George likes rule number one.  Pretty good.  Very impressed.  George says Jerry got greedy with rule 2.  You got greedy.  Men must spend the night.  Even if it is the smallest bed and the hottest night. 

Jerry is at Elaines apartment.  Jerry wants to leave after that.  Jerry thinks there might be a problem.  Elaine is upset.  Elaines roommate shows up - great improve class.  Please excuse us for a second.  Jerry cant go if Elaine is mad.  Are you OK?  Awkward goodbye.  No kiss goodnight.  

George and Jerry are looking for a gift for Elaine.  What does she need?  A bench?  Who puts a bench in the house?  Jerry is struggling with friend and girlfriend status.  Cant come up with anything.  

Stand up - the card is the killer.  Greeting card companies - blank card - you come up with something

Elaine opens Jerrys gift.  Very excited until she shes the gift - cash.  Jerry explains.  $182.  What are you my uncle.  Elaine wants to see the card.  A wonderful girl - great pal and more.  Elaine is upset.  I am not your pal.  Kramer shows up with a gift.  Its the bench.  Elaine is very excited.  Kramer laughs at Jerrys cash.  Elaine reads a wonderful card.  Jerry kicks Kramer out - Jerry says there was never a fight until these rules.  Jerry wants to go back to being friends.  Elaine cant do it.  No this or that.  Elaine wants this, that and the other.  

George tells Jerry that birthdays are relationship killers.  What is it about sex that ruins everything?  Breakup by association - George cant see her.  George give Elaine $91  Could this be it?  The end of the relationship.  

Kramer shows up.  Elaine shows up with just a shirt on.  What are you going to do today?   This and that.  Jerry chimes in - and the other.  Kramer liked both of them better when they werent a couple.

Stand up - relationships are like freeways.  Women are like the exits.  The man doesnt want to get off - on to the next exit.  

picture - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697682/