I hope my previous post have my worries conveyed (more than one). I probably won't unnecessarily write about myself hereafter. Stopping is not a safe move for myself, but writing about myself is not my thing like I've said since the first entry. I wrote because I saw the necessity. I can only hope the message was well received. It is also disgusting knowing that some perverts are watching. They might try to claim that I made my information public. Fact is the privacy violation, by the degree and nature, we might as well call it a human right violation, started at least months before I left my homeland and it hasn't stopped since then.
I feel like a human subject for the authoritarian to refine their ways to surveil and control, the same is probably true for many others. Let me make one thing clear, if anyone claims that it has any legitmacy, it is bullshit. They do try to subjugate and manipulate which you might argue that, good or not, is their way to rule. But among all shits there are, I was also toyed with, belittled and insulted (with the help of surveillacnce). It is not a proud thing, but it is how powerless we are. They enjoy themselves by abusing power and exploiting rule-abidance.
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14 Sep, 2022
The way I wrote "Nothing special" yesterday has me think about a question I (and probably many other people) wondered, "How are the oppressed living like nothing is wrong? Maybe things are not really that bad there?" I know the answer now.
It is not that nothing is wrong. It is more like you do not know if there is anything that is not wrong. You don't know what to trust.
Though it should be obvious, I will make it clear:
"Nothing special" was refering to the fact that the same shits have happened for quite some time already. At least since months before I left my homeland.
The "Nothing special" is actually very sick. It includes (but not limited to):
Surveillance:
What I do on my devices, including offline activities, including what I write here or offline.
What I do physically, including what I did in my sleeping area with all windows and door closed.
Recording: (It's part of the surveillace, but let's make it explicit.)
What I do. What I say. Probably also what I write here. And then it is shared by the whole bunch of assholes. The fanciest part? Not a single darn soul feels bothered by the privacy violation and harassments that follow.
Simliar thing like this happened when I was studying about one year ago. I mentioned it when I was talking to some teacher, and I was told to be careful and not to tell the others. I thought it was just some people doing it for fun, although I didn't find it funny at all.
Pestering:
With what they believe will upset me.
With exactly what I said I don't want to talk about.
With reference to my privacy.
Keep repeating some things as though wanting me to echo (for various effects).
Oh, I am upset, but not for the words. I am upset for how sick this world is.
The day is yet to begin, let's see what there will be today.
Today's Lithuanian language lesson was used to talk about marriage tradition, keep friends that are useful and good for them, not the ones that are bad for them and organizations that offer studies and jobs.
After returning to my room after lesson, some people came to the floor. My room was also knocked and opened, but they left before I could stand up.
Fell sick since afternoon.
