Bolide Banner

The Winkytoss Gemini Twins are Always FUNNY!!! With love....

Hey cipher kinfolk, we love ya! Hope your minute, day, year and life are blossoming into everything good!  Probably, because being here on the lovely Publish0x is a futuristically great way to spend an existentialist second.  36f97d614233de21d943931bf823361f9587a07782777d3a44f35f1b12404bfe.pngWe and the upcoming eons love you for it!!  Seriously, folks who will never know you will thank you,  the forces of good in the Renaissance, coming together to pave the way above fiat humiliations.  Listen to the crowdsourced evolution revolution here today love childs!!!

Monkees are ALWAYS funny!!! Because, like group therapy, WE are THEM!! 294c5c9c6516e112b54924dcc2d03069fd61a529f11a1b247afb2f31711a08b6.pngTwins are funny!!! Always remember, Arnie Hammer was a giant star, had the world!!  Then he played Tyler (hate that name) AND Cameron (cool name) in the Facebook movie, where the twins were just about to do it ALL man, better than ANYONE!!  Soon thereafter, Arnie became a cancelled CANNIBAL.  Just sayin.   It's the Winkly curse. Twins are just weird, how CAN you trust them when not REALLY sure which one yer talking to??  And THEY don't trust YOU, just MAYBE each other.    67bf637afffa1ed610815b27f35a1858a8b2c0df9d79214268c382ab83beba07.png Turns out the CFTC could NOT trust the twins!!  Gemini  is VERY FUNNY, really bad name choice there for lots of reasons.  But no arguing with the twin hive mind. Just saying, Gemini's bad news has been sprawling for some time.  It finally came together in a comedic fit of genius!!  d9899a7bee3e69dcd4a5446218434c4ce159ef883871d2649a0de3773a09cdd3.pngNOW Gemini is really funny & we're TIRED of pretending it's not!!! 



Gemini started happily in 2015 Wonderland, with a New York Trust Charter and the approval of strangely reptilian Cuomo.  In 2016 NY made Gemini the first ETH exchange in the US!! Hosannas!! in 2017 for ~two years the mighty CBOE used Gemini to settle Bitcoin futures contracts, AND used Gemini's mark for pricing!!  c71fb30ccafaec01f6df9e420cb83899d9d1673558a216fd354ea6293fc6f0df.pngWahoo!! Rocket sled going UP!!!! 

But then, the CBOE just quit offering BTC futures at all - hummm, that's off. 

Gemini still ROLLED, baby !! Block trading, SMARTS monitoring, ZCASH and GUSD approved, insurance from Aeon! Partners with Samsung !! Raised cap to value at 7 Billion in 2021!!  Stand BACK!!  a2dbe7ddcf701fd025f39aaf72597e3fe63077cf6e7cc7c6bf6729da2d1ea3d2.png

But that was then & this is NOW!!!  2022, June 2nd, Gemini laying off 10% ( that's fine) crypto winter (ya whatever) WOAH !!! CFTC suit backdated to 2017!! WTF???  Hello!!??!??

Yes, the CFTC out to fine and block and yank Gemini's commodities license for lying to the CFTC's face back in the day!! 

OK, that's not good, but could be whatever, right?  Benefit of the doubt???   Then a REALLY funny thing.  Twins reacted like complete utter industry destroying BUTTHEADS when the CFTC dropped the suit.  WTH!??!??  Tweets!  Teenagers to busy to comment !!! 27c6eae033b10ca17af17d5fccae5bb2a91092390e92a486390908a32c67bc2c.pngWTF boys, other folks are WALKIN here!  Don't pull that gangsta shit when the FEDS come, they'll just take it out on ALL of us & Y'ALL just GAVE THEM THE RATIONALE!!! 


The suit is many things.  Gemini told the CFTC all trades on their exchange were "pre-funded," i.e. paid in real money.  Nein.  Gemini misled about trying to stop people from trading against themselves.  Gemini said the price could NOT be manipulated.  

The CFTC is WELL p-ssed, as they point out, 82a6cebe4318e52bd52d30b661bebe3262859ae27a366d5465c63ca86ac5bfa2.png04349e4525b4b6c65a07d04159ffd056864bff7b421e43f4880bb3d85d195660.png

Thats FOUL.  Really foul. "The CFTC seeks disgorgement of ill-gotten gains, civil monetary penalties, injunctions relating to registration and trading, and an injunction against further violations of the Commodity Exchange Act (CEA)"

right after the CFTC suit, 10% layoffs?   Hit the stage to cover Journey.  Which  COULD be ok but not this tone deaf horrorshow.  Dear readers know our hate for actors pretending to be musicians.  This is worse,  If ya love music & didn't hate Dee & Dum  already you will now.  We cannot morally pass on this noise.  But the best tabloid in the world, the NY Post, will, link below.    This picture is not horrible enough. 2ce2024c4fcd104f50828c5304800021670208b4cc2896fc3c4330b6aa355f2c.pngThe drummer is wearing a CBGB shirt back there.  A real (early) CBGB's crowd would have taken the mic, maybe the guitar, &  laughed, beaten if necessary these 6'5"  idiots off the stage for sacrilege  against south detroit  "downriver" polluted air Toledo underfed ratboy singer Steve Perry, surviving his industrial desperate world.   Here's Steve next to a guy who is 5'2"6a530d46b7aca54281f3f99bc07dcc878bcc181fc07dd93e2f585b9bae953161.pngIt's OK, Jon Corzine and David Lee Roth both lie their ass off about THEIR height. 

We once played CBGG's with Stark Raving Mad, hardcore Dead Kennedy's style.  Distinctly remember lying on CB's stage in our torn shorts, carving SxRxMx into the battered wood with a Buck lockblade.   Before we got bounced for smuggling Sponge's underage girlfriend in the bass drum case. CBGB's all in Vegas now, a chance Stark Raving Mad is even MORE immortal.... lol.   8ec93e2bb6b284af641647380ac2392bf7935f26b8293686f1fe30ab7d585d66.pngSeriously tho. Came to a CBGB show drunkish  & got blindside SLAMMED in the mosh pit OVER & OVER & OVER till we twigged, laughed, bled &  took off the  corporate challenge race bank logos t-shirt.  ROFL!!! 

The GEMINI picture painted together from ALL the news sources, plus whatever we dreamt last night, is STUNNING. 

The REAL story?? Well, there was that GUSD, yeah?  They had a giant first mover advantage, yeah?  The Gecko never lies! df030ab8658e9188537761443518e5a7990cb7cb967eafc469c21a18abbf0f9b.pngGUSD is dragging arse along the bottom of the massive stablecoin market.  2% loss every time??  BAD stablecoin. GUSD is neck and neck with Marinade Staked Sol, duking it out  for one hundred and forty-first place, ROFL.  Ya us neither. Note the FT doesn't even BOTHER to say GUSD breakin da peg baby.  Noone even cares. 

The REAL real fun: apparently  most of the volume on Gemini was fake, generated by two Gemini bots playing catch n throw.  Gemini was lying about EVERYTHING to the feds!  Price, volume, manipulation!! 

TBF all electric exchanges have fake volume, it's a tradition!!!  Encouraged by exchanges who want volume, lie about it, and even give rebates to hyperactive traders.  But  the EXCHANGE is supposed to be ONE thing, and the BOTS trading on it, really quite separate. Not here!!! Gemini set the price, like the LIBOR scandal, to whatever they  WANTed the mark to be, sir.  ef69bf6bfffd1f558f9c8f6a4efbc984082981dbb022651ed50f5e1e42102b82.png

In YET ANOTHER LOWER step into the subterranean, Gemini pitched the system to the CFTC and the CBoE with ONLY the Gemini price feed live.   Always a CLEAR #(*&#(%*&!!!! sign that whatever e-network is or is NOT a real exchange, just a scam.   Best market data practice is to blend at LEAST four price sources.  Cause one feed's always BS.  Another could flake any quarter, & still ya need two so one can have a brain fart  without ruining the lives of tech staff. Gemini was just showing their true colors right there, one price source fer crissakes.  WTF did y'all EVEN listen to their CHIT for past that point, Feds??  Did y'all WANT it all to fail??   Endless FU's, Gemini. 

We once had to return to NYC from London and morally had to tell the govvie desk head that his counterpart?  Subordinate?   in London was bidding against his express orders online in a new FI electronic exchange.   Ya KNEW other people knew, but noone was saying anything.  We showed Rick on the green screen.  Rick was so foul, his whole head and neck bright red.9fc87d7a0b4f0c9e3b269a45215bb66d26666eacd7b5e54aae201d4ab151e73a.png  Dude, just the messenger, DON'T freak us out man be HAPPY we are telling you, put the cute lil baseball bat  DOWN.  NOW!!!    But that's the law of the market, NOT controlled despite all efforts, even in your own backyard.  

Well not when yer Gemini.  Really just ahead of their time ROFL!! Wait we thought we were in the sub subcellar of evil already!   Setting the industry back for a half decade with price fixing insane doomed lies,  boundless greed, hubris EVERYWHERE!!   But WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!  IRA SWATTED, & 37MM HACK!! c5ab8f5eed3588ff8277e458f2148628e8460f60b1ef69509a64008862ddeb95.png 4791fd63db7682c404b3e9bbdd415fc7b29a8ff8ec1f26ef5ad8af790f7673c1.png

Somehow even worse than that.  So many happy lawyer lawsuits it's easy to miss, but OH YEAH, a NEW level of Winkytoss's  inferno, the IRA lawsuit:09fdae52bc71bd3bccb2e57ce1a8f7d525858fc0e9ef097a0d459a3749f885a4.pngIRA is an IRA company yay! Booo for the day they saw the Winkytoss's. Gemini rushed IRA's migration to a newer, chitter cheaped out system.  Gemini master security monkees  then created a master key (unforgivable, lazy monkees) for all IRA accounts and sent it in cleartext email  to IRA WITHOUT SAYING IT WAS A MASTER KEY!!!  e60de9c96ca8f4bf2b339f4235ccf62a49db273eb17387a989186e827543c0cc.pngWow, that's advertised world class multi-sig security, checks n balances n procedures  n all to y'all Gemini?  Low grade "hackers" lazily transferred many accounts to one account before swinging out. There is NEVER a reason that should be allowed to happen. THEN IRA says Gemini took a day to respond when IRA called freaking out!!!!   

The Winky's deny deny deny,  "Gemini WAS NOT HACKED!! we have PR, and good lawyers.

IRA says don't worry shareholders, we will pay back the 36MM hack from the money we take out of the hide of these sumb-tches.

We say wow, that's monkey biz.  Nah, monkees are better than that. 4e307bdec4e08e9b4fdb7ce0d98efb049d828a2a8f396a2d7d0909b68509a110.png So there's that, bad music, high fees, stablechitcoin, pitiful security,  backed Charlie's rugpull, nuked the regulatory authorities with your teenage kicks bull @(*@#$#(*&!!  lies, actions and responses. 

OK OK.  Judges say step BACK, step OFF!!!! The Winkies did say BTC is better than Amazon.  The BOBBSEY twins were good!!  4852011da1d81614fd8679e5777e33e1ad111cb5264bea21edb61ae530e2214e.png Hey the twins are innovators, pioneers!  They invested millions in Bitinstant in 2013!! 

Oh wait, Bitinstant,  that was Charlie Shrem's money laundering jailtime causing rug pull. Dear readers know at least now we feel better about  crowding Shrem's noisy cellphone ass at a London conference!!!7eeae8e7855f77bed611de0a7385a830e9bb40dbf530863c92e806dc760d8723.png 

It's OK Geminis, since electric lights,  horoscopes aren't that important anymore, just kidding, we STILL love you. Twins, we love you too, it's up to y'all really.  c7e4e37afb51bfc23179c2c515231d0e10aa6da7e9aa77b63570acf78fd9d2c1.png

Peace, love and 



ambassador link:

How do you rate this article?



Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!

Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW
Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW

Face it. The geopolitical world is going down hard in a blaze of money printing. America freaking out makes the world freak out, burning cities, riots and total polarization while the MMT monkeys at the Fed make the printers go brrrrrrt as we whack the world economy with Covid. Join us as we go crawlin thru the wreckage. A lot of things that were going good just stalled hard. A lot of things going bad are getting there faster and faster. to quote Nina Hagen, FUTURE is NOOOOWWWW!!!!

Send a $0.01 microtip in crypto to the author, and earn yourself as you read!

20% to author / 80% to me.
We pay the tips from our rewards pool.