The TOP FIVE FUNNIEST EVENTS IN CRYPTO 2020! part 2 of 2 !!! as promised baby....

The TOP FIVE FUNNIEST EVENTS IN CRYPTO 2020! part 2 of 2 !!! as promised baby....

Hey y'all cypherfans, we love ya!! thanks for understanding it's worth a try to separate money and state!!!  Also thanks for the tips & comments,  helps a lot!! 

Yes, 2020, perhaps because of how incredibly stinky it truly was, offered side splitting moments of juxtapositioned mirth.  It's a wealth of humorous items to choose from, flip-flops, moments of stupidity and accidental clarity!  Let us do the running man through a few now: 

Honorable mention:  all those 600$ stimulus checks show up as $600 Coinbase deposits. 

Honorable mention - McAfee claims he will self-fellate  if Bitcoin is not higher than he was at the time he predicted BTC’s price in 2020. 


Here's McAfee modeling his meta (musk)  mask -apparently the authorities were not too happy about his  corona compliance, leading to  a bonus fun fact - McAfee spent hard time in island jail in 2020, so it is quite possible some fun loving criminal fellow inmates might have helped him fulfill his debts to society. 


#5 - the Tether scandal / saviourship:    First all we heard was Tether is an accounting fraud,  falsely claiming to put $$ in the bank every time they issue Tether.  Then, about the only negative Bitcoin story around in the run was about how Tether was printing unbacked freely to drive up the price of Bitcoin!  Which Tether did during 2017, and was doing in spades in 2020.


Now, ha hey, it's all OK!!  Turns out just now Tether has Bitcoin in reserves, and magically deliciously, how much??  Why, exactly the amount of Tether printed?    The real story there has to be a white-knuckled laugh fest, but all's well that ends well.  Or will it?  The New York AG is after Tether now.  After wall street crime and drug cartel billions Letitia?   nah, just crushing successfully floated stablecoin.  Ya know, priorities.

Which leads to #4 - the hypocrisy of the anti-crypto regulatory and enforcement bodies.   And the silence of the lambs in the countries they eat. In 2020, major studies showed that many huge multinational banks engaged in money laundering to the tune of trillions of dollars, including killer drug cartels, dictators raping their country, arms dealers, and generally every huge baddie on the face of the planet.  Here's the runup to 2020d610a13173e5ad056e3878146bdc6f2b693628315c400147b2d3edcfc1163e3e.png

How many real people at any of the big banks faced any criminal prosecution whatsoever, even say getting barred from working at banks?  absolutely butkis zero.     Yet BitMex maybe allows themselves to be fooled by VPNs and slips up on KYC ? bam pow jailtime for the C-suite.   We wrote earlier on the shameful state of Germany, where the German SEC actually sued the Financial Times  newspaper  reporter who was asking questions about what turned into the 30 Billion Euro Wirecard scandal having zero to do with crypto. Way to go, big bad regulatory dogs!  Use your massive state backed powers to ignore real crimes.  Then focus attacking the observer of the real crimes!!   

Bitcoin is used in some minor phishing attack, we have to hear idiots whine about the evils of Bitcoin.  Like the likes of that  unelected EU central bank "president" Laguarde.   We have always hated the title of "president" being applied to dictators (think: president for life) and officials who are elected by other officials.  Christine, we remember you from stepping into the icky shoes of the famous DSK, Dominic Strauss-Kahn, the sex scandal soaked boozy head of the International Money Fund.  Yep, when DSK's antics,  including raping the maids in New York (as if he were back home in France or at another bunga bunga party with Italian PM Burlusconi!!)   began to slow the IMF down,  the world turned to you, Christine.  Now we are awed by your leadership, considering an EU coin coming in five years, after thinking about it for a year.  So, the next step of the plan is to slag Bitcoin for two more years while thinking about thinking about it yeah?  Protect that status quo.  Clutch yer pearls and spit on Bitcoin while firing up that EU MMT brrrrrrrt money printer over Merkel's objections like never ever before.  Clutch your pearls and whinge about the "reprehensible" money laundering of bitcoin.  Christine,  is that as opposed to the regular old school money laundering of trillions by the regular multinational banks, where some of the dirty money always makes its way to politicians and insiders?  Real enforcement officials say the traceability of Bitcoin is helping them trace laundering and shut down darknets.  The lady doth protest WAAAAAAY too much. 

Which leads to #3 - the banks vs crypto.    Now that KYC has turned to a  Kafka-esque, Orwellian nightmare of repetitive kabuki theater pretending to have meaning,  2020 was the year we learned the banks can cancel your account whenever they feel like it, and AML regulations basically reward them for doing so.  But skipping that, the banks actually now won't let you foolishly send your money to a crypto exchange.  Instead, they are willing to have you talk to their investment advisors instead.  Oh Boy!  can they offer us negative interest rates or maybe if we are really lucky a 0.5% APR CD on a five year lockup?  Hold us back!!

3258c332ef71d42f51ccaa7f0451f36b0319fbfedad6f2936c11758fccee7318.pngTBF, the banks are getting squeezed by regulation every which way, but now HSBC in the UK is also refusing to bank profits from crypto.  How about that.  Invest in crypto, win, hit the offramp, pay whatever taxes are due, but nope, can't deposit that here.   HSBC, "if it is 800 million dollars from a failed mexican state and cartels pumping fentanyl to the people in the USA, that's OK.  But money made from ETH creating the internet 4.0 - nope that's dirty. "   We bet they love Laguarde.    

There's a lot of candidates for #2.  Consider:

This is a year when Logic the rapper rebranded as Bobby Bitcoin. With immaculate timing - publicly FOMOing in his net worth of 5MM$ in December.


Though Original Gangstas know that Bobby Lee is still Bobby Bitcoin to you, ya punk. 

  Or, this is the year of the rise of DEX - a year where a programmer released a testnet and went to sleep, awakening to find that investors had jammed millions of real dollars in and others had set up a flash loan hack to take those real dollars out.     A year where yield farmers made even more money than the amazing amount of money Bitcoin made, all the while shocking the normies with memes far above and beyond sushi.  A lotta crypto guys are well off the leash now and never even think about returning to captivity.   Hell, Vitalek said Parler has  a right to exist!  Sorry Buterin, buddy, most of us live in a post truth post logic world, can't have any of that, plus Gab loves the BTC.   But who knows what y'all are up to. Crypto Chads are  taking over,  along with Robin Hood traders for god's sake.  A rising tide lifts all boats and a lotta harbor garbage as well.  c60cdb81cf0cc603039e88443c625be072d379cba545d290cc3069f03322f171.pngLord help us all sort it in 2021.  We finally understand what Thorchain is doing and it's fecking cool!!!! 

The success of Grayscale is a hoot and a half.  Can we get a bitcoin ETF SEC?  No, little boys n girls, we know better than that.  But we can have a way where only really rich people, small nations and institutions can buy bitcoin - enter Grayscale.    All year we tried to visualize the BTC consumption of Grayscale.  The best shot?  Every monday some techs go to work at Grayscale and throw the lever that starts dumping Scrooge McDuck's vault into a black hole.  Seriously. 3be07e4e6db8ba69e983c71c60d45584720a2e335441242a6643bf43f136973a.pngOK but wait, then we hear Grayscale just did 100% more than last month.  Then we hear that again and again.  What is it on the other end? 


Bitcoin disappearing into the void baby.  The coins go in but they don't come out.  

Funny that it seems the little guy can't buy the bitcoin without committing to an alternate fringe cult.  But it's OK for Fidelity to mine and sell bitcoin to high net worths.  Enter another side-splitter - PayPal !  who allows pseudo bitcoin to go to the people.  Said people promptly go nuts and shazam PayPal alone has to buy all the Bitcoin mined!!!  While slapping down all the clients trying to day trade on PayPal!  while Grayscale and Paypal are so popular they periodically have to stop inflows....Of course, some humor just never gets old.  It's not a rally, or a crash, until Coinbase goes down.  With increasingly chuckle stuffed apologies. Pick'em above for the second funniest item in 2020. 

We all can agree, the funniest crypto event of 2020 was a long time in coming.  Peter Schiff, the famous goldbug, got so much right about the paper hanging debasement of fiat.  But Peter blew it sparring against  bitcoin for years.  We feel kinda sad for him, so not top ten listicle material just for that.  Many hedgies were humbled by BTC in 2020, e.g. secret sauce investor / cult of personality classic butthead Ray Diallo.  

Hell, Nouriel Roubini deserves a runner up here for being proven funny, he railed against Bitcoin for years publicly  (ha ha)  as an "expert" witness with the government.  Which is funny as Nouriel has been famous as a Dr Doom for years.  Which means he never made the big money, but he scored the economics groupies instead.  77fa1acd75401a69ac8d378e55f9834e7250f50e6f0ab1425d97726158fdcbce.pngIt's a running joke in the Hamptons.  You won't get invited to a pool party at Noriels's Southampton beachhouse, cause he doesn't have one, nor the $100MM.  You could maybe get an invite to his NYC condo, which has plastic vagina art inserted into the walls, if you wanted to or were a PYT.  But you CAN see Noriel and his groupies as a party fixture at every decent society charity event by the beach all summer long.  Remember the college prof who slept with the freshwomen YOU wanted to sleep with?  and you thought that should be illegal?  that's Roubini. 

But Peter Schiff- the unquestioned king of shooting your foot off in Macy's windows - he took it to a whole new level way back in September  with this top of the pops, big number one, the all time master of disaster of investment advice,  TWEETED not just a statement but an OPINION POLL for the eons, THE funniest crypto in all 2020, ladies and gentlemen, we will just leave this here


Plus this was not the kid's first BTC investment.  Pop quiz - find September 7th  on this unmarked graph and laugh till ya cry.  


Thanks for the tips and comments, all the love and laughs in the world, 


Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer, now living in Ireland. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!

Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW
Accelerationist Shit Show - buy Bitcoin NOW

Face it. The geopolitical world is going down hard in a blaze of money printing. America freaking out makes the world freak out, burning cities, riots and total polarization while the MMT monkeys at the Fed make the printers go brrrrrrt as we whack the world economy with Covid. Join us as we go crawlin thru the wreckage. A lot of things that were going good just stalled hard. A lot of things going bad are getting there faster and faster. to quote Nina Hagen, FUTURE is NOOOOWWWW!!!!

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