Cursed crypto satire and parody pieces by A.B. Gobling. And More!
15 Jun 2025 3 minute read 0 comments Crypto Goblin
Welcome to the meme coin wilds.No roadmap. No rules. Just vibes and fangs. Out here, it’s coin versus coin.Frogs scream at dogs.Monkeys swing into zero.Cats promise utility. They lie. You didn’t stumble into a market. You wandered into a digital ecos...
14 Jun 2025 2 minute read 0 comments Crypto Goblin
It was a Tuesday.The charts were bleeding.My bags were heavy.So I did what any rational degen would do: I lit a candle, grabbed a Ouija board, and tried to contact Satoshi Nakamoto. You may call it desperate.I call it decentralized spiritualism. The...
13 Jun 2025 3 minute read 0 comments Crypto Goblin
We were somewhere around Arbitrum when the gas began to take hold. My MetaMask blinked.The charts screamed.The lizard I’d been arguing with about liquidity pools was gone, replaced by a DAO vote titled "Activate Quantum Fork?"I clicked yes. I always...
12 Jun 2025 3 minute read 0 comments Crypto Goblin
Some stories begin with Bitcoin.This one begins with Harold.Harold is a pig. A real pig. Pink. Snorty. 300 lbs of bacon-backed wisdom. He also mines privacy coins in a shed behind the barn.And he’s the only one in the county who survived the Great Bo...
10 Jun 2025 2 minute read 0 comments Crypto Goblin
They told me to stake my tokens. “It’s safe,” they said.“Passive income,” they whispered.So I clicked “Stake” on a site with a name that looked like someone smashed their keyboard during a seance—XthulhuFi—and boom. Transaction confirmed.Gas fee paid...
