I know I have been among the missing in this blogosphere in the last month or so. Occupational hazard of being back up in Northern New England at our summer camp and being busy. The weather up here was unseasonably warm in June, mid-eighties and very humid. I didn't feel much like sitting in our hot travel trailer with its old A/C system and contemplating about various and sundry things to write about.  I was focusing on trying not to realize that it was only a little warmer back in Texas.... where my comfortable bed and A/C were..... than it was up here and hoping that the weather would break. It finally did.

We had a lot of yard work to do here as we arrived a month later than normal due to our big bicycle trip in May. Stuff had time to GROW before we could get here to mow.  We had to deal with a hay field for a lawn upon arrival, and then begin the yearly task of trying to eradicate the new growth of brush trying to take back our grassy lawn. This involves much brush lopping, weed whacking, digging up stumps and hauling them away, and me pulling weeds. We do this earlier in the day when the temperature is lower. In the afternoons, I relax by reading one of my favorite series of paranormal romance books with political and sociological plot lines.  A new book is coming out in a few weeks, and I wanted to reread the series instead of having to go back and figure out where we were in the story and various plot lines.  Today is the first day I turned on my computer in several weeks. I also visit my sister in the late afternoons for an adult beverage happy hour (beer on their deck). 

It's a little different this year up here, as it has been every year since we started camping up here for the summer. Friends that we saw last year are no longer friends, apparently, due to a romantic entanglement between two friends of ours that was doomed from the start to be a catastrophe. One of them decided to avoid everyone associated with the person they were "dating" and the other person found a job working in another state during the summer. So, our social circle has shrunk a bit, but I'm actually relieved to have a more drama-free summer. I'm amazed that even at our age, relationship drama is a thing.... There are also people we've met a few times who have recently made this area their permanent home, living somewhat off grid (no indoor plumbing or running water). They are great people who we've become friendly with, and I admire them for doing what they are doing. 

My sister, who was working part time when we left last year, is now working full time, which means I see her less than I am used to.

The other big change in her life is a new addition to her family..... Jack....

Jack is a six-month-old German Shepherd that her husband and his buddy drove 200 miles to acquire. He is also dog number three in their household. 

My sister's house is fur baby central. She has Penny, a two-year-old Chocolate Labrador Retriever. Penny is her stepson's dog that stayed behind when the stepson decided to move back to the city. Inner-city apartment life would have been a cruel thing to force on a country-raised dog of Penny's size.  She also has Helix, part German Shepard and part Cattle Dog, age undetermined (we think the rescue organization lied), who my sister and I drove 200 miles last summer to adopt from a rescue organization.  Helix was adopted because Penny kept running off and staying gone after their other dog of 12 years had passed away a few years ago. Last summer, we all decided Penny needed a friend because she seemed to be seeking playmates. Helix was also chosen because my brother-in-law wanted a German Shepherd and Helix was advertised as part German Shepherd, but he is really more Cattle Dog than Shepherd, which didn't satisfy my brother-in-law's desire to own a German Shepherd. So, now they have Jack, who is at six months, the biggest dog of the three, a complete goofball and very lovable. 

Three dogs is a lot... 

Dog ownership is very different up here in the woods than in more populated areas I've lived in. Dogs are usually not fenced in or leashed. Very few are tied up. Yes, I'm sure there are leash laws but up here where we are, we are lucky if the US Fish and Game Department comes riding through once during the summer, if at all. We have no local police and the fire department that responds to our emergencies is in another state. The dogs up here are usually well-trained to obey voice commands and usually don't wander. Unfortunately, Penny's penchant for wandering didn't stop once Helix arrived and didn't stop once Jack arrived. Now she just has a pack to go with her. It's been challenging. 

The first time Penny took off with Jack, Penny came home hours later. Jack didn't..... for seven days. We are pretty sure someone unsavory nabbed him to sell for drug money but there were so many people looking for him and watching out for him that it would have been impossible to sell him locally, so he was basically released near his house,  probably on the side of the road, and he came running down the driveway to the house, looking no worse for wear, which is how we knew someone had probably grabbed him.   That event has now impacted my summer as my sister made a promise to God to give up all deserts and snack food for a year if Jack came back. No ice cream runs or sister snacking. She is sticking to it, too.   I had to make her a fruit salad for her birthday instead of a big, yummy cake. 

The second time, all three dogs took off, but Helix came back on his own..... with a snout of porcupine quills. That happened over the July 4th holiday and turned into a nightmare visit to the urgent care vet, an hour drive, and an 10-hour office visit/wait with a middle of the night arrival back at our camp. Not to mention a huge vet bill for my sister. The other two dogs finally showed up in the evening while we were at the vet with Helix.

My brother-in-law, who is home all day (hence he is the dog-watcher), says that things have to change, that he's got it under control. I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

You see, he has a fence collar for Penny, that will beep, then buzz then shock if the collar gets too far away from its base. It's designed specifically to keep the dog in the yard. BUT it only works if the dog wears it.  He rarely uses it because "he has things under control."   

Penny runs off at least once a week, If Jack isn't tied up, he follows. When this happens, I must bite my tongue because I know they cannot afford another huge vet bill from a porcupine encounter that could be avoided.  I do my part by taking my sister out in our little yard utility vehicle to look for the dogs up the mountain where the road is very hard on cars and trucks. We go ride, we look, we never find the dogs and the dogs eventually come home. Interestingly, Helix doesn't go off much now and if he does, he always is the first one home, usually alone. 

I honestly don't mind helping to look, even knowing it's pointless and the dogs will eventually emerge from the woods. What I do mind is the stress that this is causing my sister. It's frustrating because to me, it's so simple: Tie the dog up that runs away or put the fence collar on her when she's outside. Did I mention their good friends up the street have these collars on all their dogs, and that the collars work well? We drive by their driveway in our utility vehicle and their dogs run out to catch us and stop dead at the end of the driveway, which is where their collars are programmed to give the signal.  This is still not enough evidence to convince my brother-in-law to use the collar on Penny.

Why?

Because my brother-in-law has it under control..... 

It's now a running joke between my sister and I.....

I realized that there are so many parallels with this situation and weight loss. There are so many tools to help anyone who wants to lose weight. Every imaginable aide exists to help someone stick to a weight loss plan.  They are all helpful. Have you ever said, "I know that won't work for me...." with respect to a specific diet or tool that worked for someone else?  I sure did for many, many years. Today I'm mad at myself that I did that for so long. 

We say this not because we have a better idea on how to lose weight that we are actually going to try, but because we simply do not want to take any painful step to achieve what we desire, which is weight loss. It's hard, and it requires effort and sacrifice. There is no easy road.

My brother-in-law won't use the fence collar because it goes against his idea of dogs being able to run free and his desire for them to want to do the right thing and obey.  I'm sure many of us don't diet because we want the freedom to eat what we want, how much we want and when we want.  Which means, we refuse to use the food scale or bathroom scale. He is adamant that he can do it without the collar, and we think we can do it without the food scale or the bathroom scale. 

Watching this play out (as it continues to do so) reminds me of how I STUBBORNLY refused to consider any weight loss plan that seemed distasteful to me, even though the distasteful plan was exactly what I needed. 

It's one year later and I have not put the weight back on that I lost last year. I understand how and what I need to eat to maintain roughly my current weight and how much activity I need to engage in.  I embrace that I cannot sit down and eat 2,000 calorie meals and expect to keep the weight off. I have to be realistic about my body's limitations and how much activity I am willing to engage in.  I only have this under control through complete honesty with myself. 

How honest are you being with yourself these days?  Are you still saying, "Yeah but that won't work for me?" Guess what? It probably will, but you just don't feel like trying it, because it won't be easy and painless.  Until you hit that place where you feel you have no other choice and are ready to accept that it is not going to be easy, but ultimately will be worth it, you will continue to insist that you, too, "have it under control."

It's good to be back to blogging. For anyone reading my other blog about my husband dragging me on bike trips, I will get back to that blog this week. I have yet to finish blogging about our ride down the Danube River in May.  I left off in Vienna, which was a bit of a disappointment which is why I have avoided writing about our rest day there. 

(photo courtesy of Blue Bird)