(photo courtesy of Sergio Arteaga)

Since we are approaching Thanksgiving in the US, one of the biggest food-related holidays here, I decided it was time to talk about not dieting. Let's rewind a bit....

You might be wondering what happened (how I celebrated) when I reached my 60 pounds by my 60th birthday.

I had a “bad” food weekend…..

I’ve put that word in quotes because I think we focus too much on ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods and ‘good’ eating and ‘bad’ eating. If, like myself, you’ve been struggling with weight your whole entire life, you know that permanent change needs to involve lifestyle changes.

Those changes have to be reasonable and tolerable in order to be life lasting. You have to be able to live after you’ve achieved your weight loss goal. This does not mean that you must live in a constant state of denial, with respect to food, until you die. It does mean you will have to be mindful that old, unhealthy food habits don’t take precedent over newer, more healthy ones.

My birthday weekend was a food tsunami for me. I knew it was going to happen, because I was turning 60, and my sister was throwing a big 60th birthday cookout bash for me and four other people who also had birthdays that week. Since I had been dieting for six months, I decided that for my birthday, I was going to eat foods that I really enjoyed and was not going to feel any guilt. Did it turn out that way? Yes.

So, I had a burger with no bun, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, some kielbasa that was sitting in grape jelly and chili sauce, some chocolate cake, a lemon bar, some smoked brisket, and two chocolate chocolate chip cookies. I think I also had cheese and crackers, some chips and dip and a few beers. I’m sure there was more but I don’t remember what else I ate.

As I’ve explained in my post about how to do the calorie deficit diet,

This is How We Do It! (publish0x.com)

accountability is a big factor, and tracking the calories of what you eat and drink is the main way we stay accountable.

Did I log all the food I ate that day? No. The reason I didn’t was because I decided that if I tried to log everything I ate on my birthday, after the fact, I would only end up feeling guilty about everything ‘bad’ I ate, on a day that I had intentionally planned to eat foods that were not typically diet foods.

It was a day that was supposed to be a celebration of me turning 60 and a personal, more private celebration for me to celebrate losing the 60 pounds I had planned to lose. I didn’t want to ‘punish’ myself with guilt when it was not necessary.

I did do some small things to mitigate what I was eating that day. I decided not to have hamburger or hot dog buns. I limited my portion size with the mental agreement I would go back for more if I felt hungry (I did get more potato salad and more cake). I had only two beers, one craft beer and one 55 calorie beer, and drank seltzer water after that.

The most important thing I did, however, was to pay attention to how full I was later in the day. We had the cookout during the 12:00-2:00 pm time frame which was basically lunch. When the supper time rolled around, I thought I should start thinking about making a meal. Then it got interesting. Old me would convince herself that since it was supper time, I needed to eat supper.

This time, I asked myself “are you really hungry after everything you ate?” The answer was ‘no.’ So I didn’t eat supper…..and the world didn’t end. I didn’t wake up starving in the middle of the night. In fact, the next morning, I didn’t eat until late morning because I wasn’t hungry yet.

This was the second time I’ve had to consciously go through a thought process about whether or not I needed to eat something, and my mind and body were telling me two opposite things.

The next day we went to another cookout, where I ate more of the same foods. I ate more potato salad, a hot dog, a burger and munched on chips before the food was ready. I had two 55 calorie lite beers with that.

The same thing happened later in the day. Did I feel hungry for supper? No. Did I really think about eating something when I wasn’t hungry? Yes. But I didn’t, and convinced myself I didn’t need to eat. And again the world didn’t end and I didn’t starve or wake up hungry.

The third day of this food fest weekend, we had another private family birthday celebration with my daughter and her boyfriend.

We were still up north, camping for the summer in an area I grew up near. There are foods I like to eat when I'm in that part of the country that I can’t get back home. Two such things are fried clams and black raspberry ice cream.

Since we were heading home soon, I decided to indulge in some fried clams. I did substitute the fries for onion rings (there are fewer onion rings than fries) and I wasn’t a fan of the coleslaw so didn’t eat much of that. I drank water. Then, the birthday celebrant wanted ice cream, so we went to the ice cream stand for homemade ice cream. I was ready to get my black raspberry on, which they didn’t have, so I got something else. My daughter, who was visiting, didn’t want any, so I shared mine with her, which is something I never do. Usually if my husband wants to share my food, I have anxiety about not eating enough and we end up racing to finish a shared dish.

The anxiety didn’t happen this time. It crossed my mind once, but then a voice said, this bowl of ice cream is way bigger than you expected so sharing it is a good thing. FYI, I got a small and it was huge. Again, the apocalypse didn’t happen, and I didn’t starve for lack of a few spoonfuls of coffee ice cream.

This was new territory for me. Trusting my body’s signals to make decisions rather than my emotional self. Also, dealing with food with a logical, rational mind instead of an emotional/psychological one. I’m not a fan. I had some anxiety making what should be an easy decision.

Are you hungry? No. Then don’t eat. Easiest decision chart there is when there is zero emotion involved. But that’s the catch, isn’t it? There is usually emotion involved. I have no idea what was driving that angst for eating just because the clock says it is mealtime. I don’t know why the thought of sharing my food makes made anxious, either.

I’m going to have to think about those things and see if I get an answer.

Yes, it was another day where I ate food that I would not eat on my calorie deficit diet, didn’t log food, mitigated what I felt like mitigating, didn’t eat when I wasn’t hungry, and paid attention to how I felt emotionally during the whole episode. I think it was a valuable experience for me.

After that weekend, I went right back to eating my normal calorie deficit diet but the lingering sugar in my body called out for cookies ha ha. I ignored it. That next day was weigh-in day, which I did not do. I wasn't going to spend the day feeling guilt over a planned ‘ditch the diet,’ three-day weekend and any lack of weight loss resulting from it.

What happened that weekend is going to stay in that weekend. I had the best time with friends and family, and I certainly didn’t want a number on the scale to rob me of that feeling when I knew I was getting back to my program the next day. The following week was soon enough to check my weight. I was really okay with that.

Things I’ve learned from that weekend:

1.  Life goes on when I’m dieting and is now a precious series of moments to enjoy. My special occasions need to be embraced and enjoyed.

2.  I should make small changes in my eating to mitigate the calories, changes that are barely noticeable, but enjoy these occasional moments and eat things I want and get back to my plan when the occasion is over.

3.  Really listen to those voices in my head. It’s just as important to understand what those voices are saying when I indulge in non- diet foods as it is to understand the voices that speak to me when I am eating for a calorie deficit.

4.  Listen to my stomach. It won’t lie. It won’t deceive me. If it says I’m not hungry, in most cases, I’m not.

5.  It’s okay to have occasions. I shouldn’t feel guilty for eating or not eating. I need to ignore those who are trying influence me and remember that some people have agendas. Please note that no one I encountered at my party had an agenda.

6. Too much sugar makes me feel blah. I didn’t like it. I felt bloated and sluggish.

7.  I can have these occasions and get right back to my weight loss plan.

And guess what? At the next weigh-in day, I had lost weight since that last weigh-in day two weeks ago!

Am I going to enjoy our Thanksgiving feast this week? You betcha! It's a day to celebrate the blessings in my life with family and eat something with pumpkin in it.   

In case you are wondering what I'm bringing to our family feast, I decided to go a different route than the standard pumpkin pie. I'm making a very "not suitable for the calorie deficit diet" pumpkin dump cake.  I like it because it looks easy and....it's cake! I'm going to mitigate the calories by using Stevia when I make cinnamon whipped cream to go with it.... That's a joke... There is no mitigating anything with this cake ha ha.

Here is a link to a Facebook reel for the one I'm making but there are many versions of this cake on the internet:

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1255459901783324

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  Enjoy the special occasions in your life. You never know when the last one will be.